Learn to be a Jerk - Desperate for Change

  • Thread starter khemix
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In summary, the cable guy knocked down my $2000 TV and my mom told him not to worry about it. I said "thanks for the service" and the guy had an evil grin. I'm too nice and it gets me nowhere. I'm desperate and want to inject myself with testosterone or go to a random bar and get roughed up.
  • #36
Proton Soup said:
i don't know guys, maybe this is just passive aggressive behaviour against the mom. going behind her back and trying to let the guy off for destroying her property... that's kind of a jerk thing to do when looked at from her perspective.

Ironically, you just suggested that khemix is passive-aggressive in a passive-aggressive fashion, speaking of him in the third person as though he isn't going read what you're writing. (Not saying that what you suggest is impossible, just pointing out the irony.)
 
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  • #37
CaptainQuasar said:
Ironically, you just suggested that khemix is passive-aggressive in a passive-aggressive fashion, speaking of him in the third person as though he isn't going read what you're writing. (Not saying that what you suggest is impossible, just pointing out the irony.)

that's OK, i like irony.
 
  • #38
khemix said:
i haven enough self-respect (whatever that really is)
No, you clearly don't.
khemix said:
and i value myself enough.
Again, you clearly don't. You value the cable guy's happiness and approval over the work you/your mother put into earn the money to purchase the television.
khemix said:
my mom is not abusive, today i just really pushed her buttons.
Yes, she is. As a father I will say that (I hope) I will never strike my son in anger. I do believe in spanking or a slap as a punishment for some misbehavior, as long as the rules are clearly delineated beforehand. To slap your child in anger is abuse, plain and simple. If this has happened on more than one occasion, I would recommend talking to your local law enforcement about it. If this is the only time it has ever happened, I would recommend finding someone you trust to talk to about it, so at least someone outside the family knows what happened. Further, a parent calling a child a (female body part) is verbal abuse, no matter how you look at it.
khemix said:
i don't think i have issues with testosterone
I would speak to a doctor about this one. Maybe see if you can get an appointment with a psychologist.
khemix said:
because i am quite aggressive otherwise (just not with people, except sometimes family). i think i have enough confidence, i talk to people on the bus all the time about weather and sports.
Being able to make small talk is not the same as having confidence, self respect, or standing up for yourself.
khemix said:
i don't know if i fear dissaproval, i just really emphasize with whoever i talk and read their emotions.
You value their feelings/emotions more than your own.
khemix said:
i don't desperately want them to like me, its just that i don't want them feeling down.
Again, you would rather yourself feel down than them (anyone else noticing a pattern here)
khemix said:
yeah, i have an ironic quick temper. there will be one day where i treat people like total crap... as if i don't care, then act nice for 2 weeks.
Self esteem issues, maybe mildly bipolar? See a professional, we can't diagnose you online.
khemix said:
i think being a jerk is pleasing actually.
Not as pleasing as real self esteem and self respect.
khemix said:
i don't mean the kind that gets in your face and talks obnoxiously, but the care free attitude grabs everyones attention. its been my experience that people like jerks, as if they try extra hard to befriend them... and value them more once all the work was put in. i actually tried this out with my friend at work when we were dealing with customers. i pretended to ignore this moderately attractive girl while discussing products and she was talking to me a lot. as soon as i caved in and smiled, telling her i heard everything she said, she was gone.
I think you misperceive people who have confidence, and stand up for themselves as jerks. The two are not the same thing, get that notion out of your head.
khemix said:
anyway i don't want to become a complete a-hole, even if it gets me more friends. but i do want to be able to stick up for myself.
About the only sensible thing you said in this post.

Sorry if I'm being particularly blunt or tactless, but I'm being as honest as I can. Hopefully you will consider what I've written.
 
  • #39
khemix said:
you're the only one who strikes a chord with me. yeah, i have an ironic quick temper. there will be one day where i treat people like total crap... as if i don't care, then act nice for 2 weeks.
Too emotional, too empathetic. It's a horrible characteristic to have as an adolescent. Things will get better if you want them too, but give it time. You must must must do something that you can get good at. It doesn't need to impress everyone, but it should do more that just impress yourself. Rock climbing, mountain biking, skateboarding whatever, but don't force yourself. In the back of your head, you have to hear yourself saying, "yeah, I'd like to do that." Otherwise it's not fun, just another task.

It needs to be an endurance kind of exercise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin" do exist, and they are the cheapest anti-depressant on the market. I run. You don't have to, but everything else is more expensive. And yes, the physique you get is important.

ill try running, but i honestly don't see how it will solve any of my problems.
you may be surprised. give yourself 2 weeks, five times a week, 20 minutes, slow. Don't time anything at first, don't bother stretching or all that crap, just go, start slow. If your get tired, slow down to a crawl but don't stop.
 
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  • #40
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Zz.
 

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