Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[Zantra]

wrap up

I called her, we talked. I don't know exactly what to say here. The call left me with more questions than answers. Opinions were voiced some things that had built up were brought out into the open. Other questions were not answered, and may never be. In her words "some quetions never get answered, and some things are better left unspoken"
She backed up to the typical woman haven of "They're feelings, not words I can express". IOW, she isn't going to to tell me certain things. Is she ill? If she is, she's not admitting to it. However I know some things that still hint at something. It would be guessses, and I refuse to do that. Suffice it to say that she claims she's perfectly fine, and I think she's lying through her teeth, but I couldn't prove otherwise. The long and short of it is that although I wouldn't laud any breathroughs, by the end of the call we were laughing together. She admitted she has some issues to work out of her own, but refused to talk about them. She did acknowledge that I am a good friend and that I am important to her. I think(but don't know) that some of you were dead on about her needing my attention.


Feel empty? like I've been talking for a paragraph, but still haven't given you anything of substance? Like I've answered questions you didn't ask, and avoided the ones you have asked? Welcome to crazyworld. My world. Carlie world.


I wish I could say I feel like this is resolved. I wish I could say we were honest with each other and everything was resolved for better or worse. I wish I could tell you that. I wish. Insstead we came to a tenative peace accord.

Anyhow, thanks for your words of advice. This relationship would give Dr. Phil an ulcer.

 

[Bubonic Plague]

The long and short of it is that although I wouldn't laud any breathroughs, by the end of the call we were laughing together.

That's a start.

I think you should keep this peace accord and not push. Just be a friend again and forget the past. Things won't be the same, but at least you tried.

 

[Monique]

Originally posted by Adam
Nooooo, they shout very loud, but often contradictory or unintelligible messages.

I which case you are not listening to you heart, but to your hormones and your mind

Really, it whispers so listen closely

 

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
It never gets easier Zantra, believe me.

Have you decided on what you want to say, or how to even start the conversation? Since you know her, maybe you can think of a safe topic you can engage her in, just to get her to loosen up?

I had to respond to this, because I had this approach all planned out, and instead like a nervous teenager(no offense to the young people) I just blurted out what was on my mind anyways. She's direct and has a way of illiciting the same response from me. *shrug*.

As I'm already as good as married, I will no longer have the time effort or energy to put into her that I know she wants from me. So I guess that's pretty much the end of it. She knows I care about her, I know she cares about me. YOu can't force someone to come clean. Nagging her about it will just make things worse. Time to let it go.

 

[Adam]

Originally posted by Monique
I which case you are not listening to you heart, but to your hormones and your mind

Really, it whispers so listen closely

Nup. Sounds like a rock concert in there.

 

[rick1138]

Zantra, she is in love with, but not ready to admit it, and she may never. I once dated a girl off and on who wanted to be "just friends". She kept encouraging me to find someone else, then when I did, she would fly into fits of extreme jealousy, then we would fight, then get back together, then break up...

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Adam
Nup. Sounds like a rock concert in there.

LOL!

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Zantra
I had to respond to this, because I had this approach all planned out, and instead like a nervous teenager(no offense to the young people) I just blurted out what was on my mind anyways.

Been there. :)

You sound like a wonderful person Zantra, and you would be a great catch for any woman!

 

[Hurkyl]

*sigh* I got beat down by the irony police today. I asked Kathy to dinner (but I didn't really give any indication that I wanted a date), but no time this week was good, but next week is great and that gives us time to invite others along!

I should have thought a wee bit ahead after talking to Monique about her guy problem.

 

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
Been there. :)

You sound like a wonderful person Zantra, and you would be a great catch for any woman!

Thanks. I think that 5 years from now she'll be shooting herself for blowing me off. Which is too sad, because by then it will be too late. We all make choices, and we have to accept the consequences of those choices.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
but next week is great and that gives us time to invite others along!

Oh, that's sounds just great...

What is wrong with these women?

 

[Hurkyl]

To be honest, I think I like her even more for her response. *sigh*

 

[Evo]

sounds like love is in the air

 

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
To be honest, I think I like her even more for her response. *sigh*

I'd be like- if I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog. This is a date, don't bring friends:P

You can phrase it in a nicer way

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Zantra
I'd be like- if I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog. This is a date, don't bring friends:P

You can phrase it in a nicer way

I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! - 'course, that's kinda scary, too! JUST KIDDING!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Tsunami
I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! - 'course, that's kinda scary, too! JUST KIDDING!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

:( Is that also why Girl #3 of mine asked me if there's other girls coming with us to the movies? [b(]

 

[rick1138]

:( Is that also why Girl #3 of mine asked me if there's other girls coming with us to the movies?

Well, there could be other reasons. :-) Seize the day - make sure there are other girls, nothing could be better than being seen at the moview with several girls.

 

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Tsunami
I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! - 'course, that's kinda scary, too! JUST KIDDING!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

Oh I didn't realize it was an office romance. Tread very carefully hurkle. If it doesn't work out, it could get awkward.

 

[rick1138]

But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.

 

[Chrono]

Originally posted by rick1138
But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.

Ok, now I'm curious as to what happened after she did that.

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by rick1138
But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.

THAT kinda stinks!
(Was it something you SAID? )

 

[rick1138]

Ok, now I'm curious as to what happened after she did that.

I decided to go home.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Chrono
Ok, now I'm curious as to what happened after she did that.

what else? cut his shirt and commited crime of course.

 

[rick1138]

No it was more mundane than that - I went home and read a book on Lie Algebras.

 

[Hurkyl]

Well, actually, I generally don't see her at work (she's in a different complex atm); I met her at a class we had to take, and I see her once a month at lunch. Only other time was at a conference and lunch afterwards (and this is the only time I've been alone with her). I've seen her a couple times outside of work, though.

 

[twizted1]

Originally posted by rick1138
Seize the day - make sure there are other girls, nothing could be better than being seen at the moview with several girls.

I second this motion...and treat everyone of em like a queen...just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them and if things don't work out w/ her...you've already got yer boot in the door of the rest ;)

-Ty

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by twizted1
I second this motion...and treat everyone of em like a queen...just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them and if things don't work out w/ her...you've already got yer boot in the door of the rest ;)

-Ty

YES! THAT'S THE TICKET! Prudens, chivalry must know NO BOUNDS in this situation. The gentleman in you will score points by the dozens if you handle it this way - if not with your own fair princess (it'll be HER major loss if she rejects you after this!), then with all of her friends!

 

[rick1138]

just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them

Don't let them know which one is "yours", maybe you don't know yourself, after all they are all "just friends" Right? Right? Well, maybe not - you'll find out quickly.

 

[twizted1]

Originally posted by rick1138
Don't let them know which one is "yours", maybe you don't know yourself, after all they are all "just friends" Right? Right? Well, maybe not - you'll find out quickly.

By yers i mean the one you have your eye on...just in case that was worded badly...

The one that's yours you want to treat just a bit better till you find out her feelings...don't be a dick to the rest and don't be just super nice to only her...but you'll figure it out pretty quick...and like I said...if she doesn't want anything more than just a platonic relationship...you're already in good stead w/ the others ;)

-Ty

 

[PrudensOptimus]

LOL, Girl #1 comes back for more?

LOL, I knew she couldn't resist me from the way she acted these days.


Just now, I received her msg on AIM,... using yet another Screenname(I have blocked her other names)

Girl #1: How's the website going?

Girl #1: It is veryyyyyyyyyy goood! People told me a lot of compliments about it.

Me: Thanks ;)

Girl #1: How do I update it?

Me: You can't update it by yourself as of now; I'll write a web app that allows automatic text update after exams.

Girl #1: cool i'll ttyl

It was around 10:40PM... late. I guess she msged me before she went to bed.

 

[albrock06]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
GIRL EXPERTS! Where art thou!

Ever thought of actually asking a girl? Haha.

But seriously, I'm probably breaking all the rules of the female code by telling you this, but most girls like to talk about themselves. So, walk up to her, say, 'Hey there, how are ya?' and start a conversation. But if she just gives you a sarcastic smile and walks away, take it as a hint.

Tell her she looks nice. Whatever. Say something nice to her. Get creative. Girls like most dig creative guys.

Only girls like me dig the dorks. I couldn't help that.

 

[Evo]

When I read through the posts here, I am reminded of a Richard Brautigan poem (I read all his stuff when I was in my teens).

IT'S RAINING IN LOVE

I don't know what it is,
But I distrust myself
When I start to like a girl
A lot.

It makes me nervous.
I don't say the right things
Or perhaps I start
To examine,
Evaluate,
Compute
What I am saying.

If I say, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
and she says, "I don't know,"
I start thinking: Does she really like me?

In other words
I get a little creepy.

A friend of mine once said,
"It's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

I think he's right and besides,
its raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
That's all taken care of.

BUT
if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if I give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"Do you think it's going to rain?"
and I say, "It beats me,"
and she says, "Oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue California sky,
I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time
Instead of me.

From "The Pill versus the Springhill Mine disaster"

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Evo
When I read through the posts here, I am reminded of a Richard Brautigan poem (I read all his stuff when I was in my teens).

IT'S RAINING IN LOVE

I don't know what it is,
But I distrust myself
When I start to like a girl
A lot.

It makes me nervous.
I don't say the right things
Or perhaps I start
To examine,
Evaluate,
Compute
What I am saying.

If I say, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
and she says, "I don't know,"
I start thinking: Does she really like me?

In other words
I get a little creepy.

A friend of mine once said,
"It's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

I think he's right and besides,
its raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
That's all taken care of.

BUT
if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if I give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"Do you think it's going to rain?"
and I say, "It beats me,"
and she says, "Oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue California sky,
I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time
Instead of me.

From "The Pill versus the Springhill Mine disaster"

OK. Nice poem, really describes my heart:\

 

[Monique]

Prudens, just a small mentor note: please try not to quote those very long texts or images..

 

[jimmy p]

Jesus Christ (sorry for the profanity god)! is this monster still going?