I am a loser loser loser loser loser

[Crazy Tosser]

I am a loser loser loser loser loser...

So, how do you get out of a painful situation when you actually reached a beautiful smart girl after 2 days of calling her and couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't relativity-related?

[bangs head on wall]

I demand pity...

 

[Renge Ishyo]

Quick, call her up while you still have time and dazzle her with an explanation of the statistical nature of wave mechanics.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Just ask her out to dinner.

 

[Crazy Tosser]

Quick, call her up while you still have time and dazzle her with an explanation of the statistical nature of wave mechanics.

As soon as she will make it clear that she cannot be my girlfriend, I will do that right away. Maybe make sure every Friday evening for her begins with a lecture.

Just ask her out to dinner.

Won't that freak her out? We don't know each other that well...

 

[Renge Ishyo]

Won't that freak her out?

You're worried about dinner freaking her out after talking to her about relativity? I don't think asking her out to dinner would scare her (it might scare you though).

 

[OAQfirst]

If dinner is too much, how about coffee?

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Won't that freak her out? We don't know each other that well...

Everyone eats dinner, why not eat with a friend. Doesn't have to be a super swank place. Make it casual.

 

[Crazy Tosser]

You're worried about dinner freaking her out after talking to her about relativity? I don't think asking her out to dinner would scare her (it might scare you though).

I didn't really talk to her about relativity that much, but I couldn't think of anything to talk but relativity. And yes, the dinner part scares me. First, I don't have a car. Second, I wouldn't know how to act even if I had one. Third, what do normal people talk about anyway?

If dinner is too much, how about coffee?

lol good idea. Starbucks ftw.

 

[cristo]

I didn't really talk to her about relativity that much, but I couldn't think of anything to talk but relativity. And yes, the dinner part scares me. First, I don't have a car. Second, I wouldn't know how to act even if I had one. Third, what do normal people talk about anyway?

Why do you need a car to go to dinner? You could take a cab, or go somewhere close to hers so you can walk. As for what to talk about: what do you talk about with anyone of your other friends? You can't solely have conversations about physics, or else things would get incredibly boring, no?

That said, last night some of my friends who are very much not physicists actually instigated a conversation about string theory and cosmology with me. I was amazed, but they said they found the subject fascinating and that it was good to have me to explain things to them.

Anyway, I wouldn't encourage you to start a discussion about relativity. Just ask questions about her, try to find a common ground, etc etc. It's not that hard to find something to talk about with a stranger, is it?

 

[OAQfirst]

It's about getting to know each other. Find out what she likes, favorite music, food, where she's from, school subjects she likes, hobbies... Somewhere in there you're going to find common interests and before you know it, you'll be reaching for a cigarette.

 

[epenguin]

Second, I wouldn't know how to act even if I had one. Third, what do normal people talk about anyway?

I never quite found that out but ask about, get her to talk about, herself and participate - all obviously necessary and it may lead to natural conversation.

 

[George Jones]

So, how do you get out of a painful situation when you actually reached a beautiful smart girl after 2 days of calling her and couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't relativity-related?

Years ago, I met a cute, interesting chick. At the time, I was working with general relativity, about which she said very dismissively and caustically "General relativity isn't even a theory!" (True story.)

Look what happened,

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=1844073#post1844073.

People have been giving you good advice.

 

[Pythagorean]

Won't that freak her out? We don't know each other that well...

it either will or it won't. Independent of that, she's either interested in you or she isn't. The only way to find out to put yourself out there. Just remember there's other fish in the sea, and you'll never be able to move on to them if you get hung up at this stage. You have to go get rejected or accepted so you can move on to the next step and be progressive about it and allow yourself to develop emotionally.

 

[Crazy Tosser]

All right, guys, I think I kinda have a guideline of what I will talk about tomorrow, thank you :) And George Jones, don't scare me like that! :P

 

[Renge Ishyo]

Good to see, just remember these three golden rules of dating:

1. Be yourself.

2. If rule 1 fails, act like someone else.

3. Don't stare at her breasts; try to look her in the eyes.

Let us know how it goes :!)

 

[tchitt]

Won't that freak her out? We don't know each other that well...

That's what dating is. People wouldn't do stupid awkward things like go out to dinner together if they already had a lot to talk about. If you're younger I'd opt for a movie over dinner (because dinner can be just as awkward as sitting on the phone)... If there's any kind of physical attraction the atmosphere might get you some spontaneous snuggling or hand holding or something (that'll melt the ice right quick), and you'll have the movie to discuss when it's over.

 

[Crazy Tosser]

That's what dating is. People wouldn't do stupid awkward things like go out to dinner together if they already had a lot to talk about. If you're younger I'd opt for a movie over dinner (because dinner can be just as awkward as sitting on the phone)... If there's any kind of physical attraction the atmosphere might get you some spontaneous snuggling or hand holding or something (that'll melt the ice right quick), and you'll have the movie to discuss when it's over.

All right, I do believe we have a winner
If the movie thing works out, I owe you... a lot...

 

[tchitt]

If you're feeling really adventurous google the "hole in the popcorn bucket trick" :p

Hey, glad I could be some help. Good luck!

 

[moose]

If you don't know what to talk about, get her to talk about herself. Make a mostly positive observation about her, then ask "You seem to be ______, how'd you get to be like that?". Use social intuition from there.

EDIT: Also, try not to get friend zoned... It will happen very fast if you treat her as a friend and keep conversations platonic.

 

[Cyrus]

You already know what I'm going to say, so I aint even going to bother saying it no mo. Word 2 you mutha.

 

[Math Is Hard]

about time you showed up, Cyrus!

 

[chaoseverlasting]

As soon as she will make it clear that she cannot be my girlfriend, I will do that right away. Maybe make sure every Friday evening for her begins with a lecture.

Thats revenge!

 

[cristo]

about time you showed up, Cyrus!

yea it did take a while!

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Me: (to myself: Think, think you lunk, don't even mention relativity theory) Hi.
She: Hi. Look, I'm kind of busy, could you please flake off.
Me: (to myself: So far, so good) Hey, I got a couple of tickets for the ballet. You wanna?
She: I dunno. Look, I have this homework problem due and I don't have time to discuss this with you.
Me: What is it? Maybe I can help.
She: OK. I'm on a rocket ship traveling at .25c and I shoot a second rocket in the same direction at .3c. How fast is the second rocket going?
Me: That's easy, .55c.
She: You're not taking relativity into account.
Me: Um, but ... that is you see I ...
She: Make a like a tree and leave.
Me: You never give me a chance.
She: Have patience. We've only been married 20 years now.

 

[BobG]

That's what dating is. People wouldn't do stupid awkward things like go out to dinner together if they already had a lot to talk about. If you're younger I'd opt for a movie over dinner (because dinner can be just as awkward as sitting on the phone)... If there's any kind of physical attraction the atmosphere might get you some spontaneous snuggling or hand holding or something (that'll melt the ice right quick), and you'll have the movie to discuss when it's over.

If you're feeling really adventurous google the "hole in the popcorn bucket trick" :p

Hey, glad I could be some help. Good luck!

Movies are a bad idea. There's only two advantages:

1) You can go on a date with her without either of you having to get to know each other. Less stressful, but it kind of defeats the purpose of the date in the first place.

Go bowling or something. Actual activities where you do something together work pretty well. The activity gives you something obvious to talk about without the stress of trying to come up with something intelligent (but not too intelligent?) to say.

Taking her to dinner doesn't really fit the bill, unless you're sharing the same plate and feeding each other; or having food fights or something. Usually, you're each just eating your own meals separately; but just happen to be doing it while sitting at the same table.

On the other hand, if she's not interested in relativity, then you should probably dump her.

 

[epenguin]

I don't have a car.

A car? As well as ecologically conscious you are an ambitious fellow who hopes in future to be able to afford not to have one. Although in reality such a thing is far fro being able to be guaranteed, we all have to make compromises.

 

[BobG]

A car? As well as ecologically conscious you are an ambitious fellow who hopes in future to be able to afford not to have one. Although in reality such a thing is far fro being able to be guaranteed, we all have to make compromises.

Ooh, I like that.

epenguin is particularly good at the resume giving segment of first dates.

(You do realize that, if you are somehow successful at getting a date with this girl, you have to have a resume, don't you?)

 

[Topher925]

I would try being the new friend first. Then after you two have grown a little closer, start to move in. This usually takes a little longer but can also be rather successful.

 

[G01]

That's what dating is. People wouldn't do stupid awkward things like go out to dinner together if they already had a lot to talk about. If you're younger I'd opt for a movie over dinner (because dinner can be just as awkward as sitting on the phone)... If there's any kind of physical attraction the atmosphere might get you some spontaneous snuggling or hand holding or something (that'll melt the ice right quick), and you'll have the movie to discuss when it's over.

This is why I HATE everything about dating! It is so fake and awkward. I'd rather just get to know a girl slowly and naturally and have a much stronger relationship develop because of it. Unfortunately, if you go about it in this way, something like this happens:

http://xkcd.com/513/

 

[Crazy Tosser]

How about movies and then a walk in a park? Or reverse?
Cyrus, I did not get that
BobG, it's not that she is not interested... I just probably shouldn't talk about it... Even my friends, who are all pretty much interested in physics, tell me that I manage to get technical in the simplest things... like event horizons, lol. Usually it's because while I am explaining it, an idea pops out in my head of why that is because of that, and then I explain the idea, and then I get another idea, that's opposite to the first idea, and then I go nevermind, blah-blah-linear path in space-time-escape speed-blah-blah and that's when people start crossing the street.
G01, I tried to do what you do a while ago... what moose said, you get friendzoned >.<

 

[cristo]

This is why I HATE everything about dating! It is so fake and awkward. I'd rather just get to know a girl slowly and naturally and have a much stronger relationship develop because of it.

Why is dating fake? It's just spending time with someone (like Greg said, everyone eats!) and getting to know them.

 

[Renge Ishyo]

http://xkcd.com/513/

Greatest comic ever. That is pretty much how my last relationship went in a nutshell.

 

[Crazy Tosser]

You guys are just freaking me out. Now wth... *sigh* I will call her in 2 hours... What should I do.. movie, dinner, or bowling, or a walk, or rollerblading, or just asking her about herself or...?

 

[lisab]

You guys are just freaking me out. Now wth... *sigh* I will call her in 2 hours... What should I do.. movie, dinner, or bowling, or a walk, or rollerblading, or just asking her about herself or...?

I vote for dinner, during which you should ask her about herself. Then, if everything is going smoothly, bowling.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

You guys are just freaking me out. Now wth... *sigh* I will call her in 2 hours... What should I do.. movie, dinner, or bowling, or a walk, or rollerblading, or just asking her about herself or...?

COFFEE! Seriously. You can talk and get to know one another a bit and get a feel for the situation. Depending on the girl she is probably more likely to say yes to coffee/tea than dinner or some such. Its not so much a date as the other options and gives her the ability to back out quickly if she feels the need. Safer feeling for her is what I mean.
THEN if everything goes well you can still possibly do something else afterward. And if it doesn't then you are only out the cost of a couple coffees and maybe an hour of your time.

And don't worry so much about the car. My first three girlfriends all drove me around in their cars because I didn't have one. ;-)