Passed Medical Gases Course: An Unexpected Qualification

[brewnog]

So I walked into a room this afternoon, and there was a middle aged woman in there clutching her chest and gasping for breath. She was clearly struggling for air and in pain, so I sat her down and gave her the once over.

Soon, her condition worsened and her breaths became more rapid. She complained of feeling dizzy, so I laid her down and called for help. Soon after that her breathing nearly stopped, and I could only find a very weak pulse.

She then turned into a plastic dummy, so I inserted an artificial airway and started artificial respiration with oxygen and a bag & mask. Its condition improved, I put it into the recovery position with a full flow oxygen mask, and then the examiner started reviewing my actions!

I passed my medical gases course! Woop!

 

[Astronuc]

Congratulations!

I hope you never have to do it for real.

When I was 13, I had to help my mom with a neighbor who had a stroke. I lifted the neighbor from the floor, where she had collapsed, to the couch, while she was in the middle of convulsions. Her two sons were panicked as one could imagine.

Unfortunately, she died later that night.

 

[Office_Shredder]

She was clearly struggling for air and in pain, so I sat her down and gave her the once over.

This sounds like something tony from the italian mafia would do...

 

[hypatia]

Good job! I hope you never half to use these skills.

 

[Astronuc]

So I walked into a room this afternoon, and there was a middle aged woman in there clutching her chest and gasping for breath. She was clearly struggling for air and in pain, so I sat her down and gave her the once over.

Soon, her condition worsened and her breaths became more rapid. She complained of feeling dizzy, so I laid her down and called for help. Soon after that her breathing nearly stopped, and I could only find a very weak pulse.

She then turned into a plastic dummy, so I inserted an artificial airway and started artificial respiration with oxygen and a bag & mask. Its condition improved, I put it into the recovery position with a full flow oxygen mask, and then the examiner started reviewing my actions!

Just don't get involved with her.

 

[Danger]

Just don't get involved with her.

Not likely, unless she's wearing a wool coat.

 

[brewnog]

She was all head and mouth and lungs. Not great with conversation. And she had a stomach which could be filled up with artificial vomit so we could see what happened if we put an airway down the wrong pipe...

 

[Evo]

She was all head and mouth and lungs. Not great with conversation. And she had a stomach which could be filled up with artificial vomit so we could see what happened if we put an airway down the wrong pipe...

 

[Danger]

she had a stomach which could be filled up with artificial vomit

I see the basis for a couple of decent practical jokes there.

 

[brewnog]

Especially considered I volunteered to return the dummy to base, and have a pot of "dried artificial stomach contents" in my car. Seriously, that's what it says on the label.

 

[Evo]

Especially considered I volunteered to return the dummy to base, and have a pot of "dried artificial stomach contents" in my car. Seriously, that's what it says on the label.

How realistic is the stuff?

 

[Astronuc]

Especially considered I volunteered to return the dummy to base, and have a pot of "dried artificial stomach contents" in my car. Seriously, that's what it says on the label.

Did it also say - "just add water"?

 

[brewnog]

Just add water indeed.

Dunno how realistic it is, didn't really fancy the idea of rehydrating any. Apparently it's got carrots in it though (well, synthetic carrots).

 

[Moonbear]

She was all head and mouth and lungs. Not great with conversation. And she had a stomach which could be filled up with artificial vomit so we could see what happened if we put an airway down the wrong pipe...

Make that mistake just once with a sheep and you'll never do it again!

Congrats on your certification!