- #1
zpconn
- 243
- 2
This semester I transferred from a big public state university that was about 2 hours away from home to a top 20 private university that is about 14 hours away from home. I was doing very, very well at my old school, and I transferred because I wanted a more challenging environment. I'm taking graduate courses this semester and am in general learning a lot.
The issue is that I really hate being here. It's a great school, but it has done nothing at all to help me socialize. I've been thrown into this big community in the middle of the year and told to navigate it all by myself. I can't do it--I'm just not outgoing enough.
Half the semester has passed and I'm burnt out. Graduate classes are very, very time consuming. With no friends and no time to make friends, I'm not happy, and my academic performance is starting to slide as a result.
I have the ability to resume study next semester at my old school and make everything like it was. Because this is my first semester at my new school, I can drop every class without anything showing up on my transcript at any time. In other words, I could just go home, take a month or so off to recoup, and pretend this semester didn't happen. I've got a summer research position already lined up, so if I did this I would be at home until the end of this semester, then I'd go to the summer position, and then afterwards I'd resume study at my old school with all my old friends.
I've got to do something because I'm miserable with my current situation. Part of the problem is that--and I fully admit this--I developed as so many people do an obsession with being the best, with being nearly perfect in mathematics, and a little bit of an obsession with going to a prestigious graduate school. This is why I came here. As I now know, it was a bad reason to transfer, even though the admissions people apparently liked it enough to admit me. This experience has led me to reevaluate all of this, and I now realize that being happier and enjoying life should always take much higher priority.
By going home early this semester and then resuming study at my old school next semester, I think I'd be a lot happier, but I would sort of in the process give up my chance of making it into Princeton (say). But I'm actually feeling that I'm okay with that, and it's a very relieving feeling to not put myself under such pressure.
Ordinarily I would freak out at the thought of falling a semester "behind," but I'm learning to let go, to stop caring so much about always being ahead of everyone else, and so I'm actually considering doing this for my own sake, for my emotional well-being.
What do you think? Has anyone here went through a similar situation? I've discussed this with my parents. They understand how much trouble I've had socially adjusting here, and they will be more than happy to welcome me back home for half a semester if I decide that it's in the best interest of my emotional health to do so. That said, they do think it would be better for me to finish this semester. I completely understand why they say this, but I'm honestly not so sure; I'm fairly "messed up" right now socially, and I think it could do me a lot of good to have a month off--I feel very overworked right now. Of course, when most people feel very overworked, burnt out, and socially isolated, they have to deal with it--but it does not always end well; perhaps it usually doesn't end well. I feel like I should take advantage of this chance to emotionally recharge myself while I have it because I know later in life this won't be a possibility.
The issue is that I really hate being here. It's a great school, but it has done nothing at all to help me socialize. I've been thrown into this big community in the middle of the year and told to navigate it all by myself. I can't do it--I'm just not outgoing enough.
Half the semester has passed and I'm burnt out. Graduate classes are very, very time consuming. With no friends and no time to make friends, I'm not happy, and my academic performance is starting to slide as a result.
I have the ability to resume study next semester at my old school and make everything like it was. Because this is my first semester at my new school, I can drop every class without anything showing up on my transcript at any time. In other words, I could just go home, take a month or so off to recoup, and pretend this semester didn't happen. I've got a summer research position already lined up, so if I did this I would be at home until the end of this semester, then I'd go to the summer position, and then afterwards I'd resume study at my old school with all my old friends.
I've got to do something because I'm miserable with my current situation. Part of the problem is that--and I fully admit this--I developed as so many people do an obsession with being the best, with being nearly perfect in mathematics, and a little bit of an obsession with going to a prestigious graduate school. This is why I came here. As I now know, it was a bad reason to transfer, even though the admissions people apparently liked it enough to admit me. This experience has led me to reevaluate all of this, and I now realize that being happier and enjoying life should always take much higher priority.
By going home early this semester and then resuming study at my old school next semester, I think I'd be a lot happier, but I would sort of in the process give up my chance of making it into Princeton (say). But I'm actually feeling that I'm okay with that, and it's a very relieving feeling to not put myself under such pressure.
Ordinarily I would freak out at the thought of falling a semester "behind," but I'm learning to let go, to stop caring so much about always being ahead of everyone else, and so I'm actually considering doing this for my own sake, for my emotional well-being.
What do you think? Has anyone here went through a similar situation? I've discussed this with my parents. They understand how much trouble I've had socially adjusting here, and they will be more than happy to welcome me back home for half a semester if I decide that it's in the best interest of my emotional health to do so. That said, they do think it would be better for me to finish this semester. I completely understand why they say this, but I'm honestly not so sure; I'm fairly "messed up" right now socially, and I think it could do me a lot of good to have a month off--I feel very overworked right now. Of course, when most people feel very overworked, burnt out, and socially isolated, they have to deal with it--but it does not always end well; perhaps it usually doesn't end well. I feel like I should take advantage of this chance to emotionally recharge myself while I have it because I know later in life this won't be a possibility.