Terrible Movies We've Seen: Sahra, The Grudge, The Ring

[JamesU]

the good movies thread gave me some inspiration, and I want to know what awful, terrible movies people have seen (so I can watch them )
I'll start:

the grudge
the ring
sahara (it was okay )
I already know about attack of the killer tomatoes.

 

[quasar987]

I liked 'The Ring'. A movie that is highly rated but that I absolutely abhored was Batoru rowaiaru (Battle Royale).. The Matrix Reloaded and Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith sucked donkey balls too.

 

[JamesU]

the blair witch prokect I and II (i heard) were awful

 

[quasar987]

I've seen neither

 

[Kakarot]

all teen movies are terrible :D

 

[quasar987]

Don'T say that, American Pie rocked!

**SPOILER**: If you don'T laugh at when he's got the lube tupe glued to one hand and the porno tape to the other, you'Re not from earth.

 

[gravenewworld]

basically any michael bay movie.

 

[JamesU]

Don'T say that, American Pie rocked!

**SPOILER**: If you don'T laugh at when he's got the lube tupe glued to one hand and the porno tape to the other, you'Re not from earth.

that was american pie 2

 

[Galileo]

War of the worlds.

Bah, I say!

 

[honestrosewater]

I didn't' like War of the Worlds either, but I didn't think it was terrible.
Movies I could barely sit through (People forced me to watch most of these):
Fabulous Four
Constantine
Phantom of the Opera
Final Cut
Ladder 49
I Heart Huckabees
The Whole Ten Yards
Movies I couldn't even sit through:
Miss Congeniality 2
Legally Blonde 2
Merchant of Venice (Pacino)
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers
The Life Aquatic

Hmm... quite a few sequels in the list.

 

[Pengwuino]

basically any michael bay movie.

What?!

The Rock?
Bad Boys?
Enemy of the state?

I can't believe I am hearing this! *faints*

 

[arildno]

Brad Pitt's butt couldn't save Troy from being an awful movie.
It was a nice butt, though.

 

[honestrosewater]

Brad Pitt's butt couldn't save Troy from being an awful movie.
It was a nice butt, though.

I totally agree about his butt, of course, but I thought the fights were cool.

Did anyone see Alexander? I'm thinking of renting it for the fights - are they good?

 

[arildno]

I totally agree about his butt, of course, but I thought the fights were cool.

Some were rather good, yes. However, not good enough to save the movie, IMO.
W. Petersen had a great actor in Sean Bean (Ulysses), but for some unfathomable reason, he didn't understand that.
Instead, he slavered over that doe-eyed pansy-elf who hasn't got an actor's fibre in his body (not to mention the horrid woman who played Helen).

Hedlund as Patroclus was a disaster, not to mention the liberties W.P. made as regards the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus.

The guy who played Agamemnon was good, and, of course Peter O'Toole.
Still, the plot was muddled and the film was in general boring&bad.

 

[moose]

I remember somewhere around 6 years back maybe, maybe 7, I saw the movie baby geniuses... It was the worst movie I believe was EVER made

 

[loseyourname]

Movies that I suppose were decent but are way overrated and I just don't understand the appeal:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Moulin Rouge
Mystic River

Movies that seemed terrible at first but are watchable in retrospect:

Sphere
Chronicles of Riddick
Labyrinth
The Fifth Element (the camp value has really grown on me, even though it's still really stupid)
Friday
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (Alan Rickman saves it)

Movies that have stood the test of time and remain forever terrible:

The Postman (this might seriously be the single worst movie ever made and is probably worth seeing for the sheer spectacle)
House of 1000 Corpses
Jurassic Park III
Troy
Armageddon
Anaconda

Movies other people hate but I love:

Dumb and Dumberer ("A half-boy, half-horse; he's perfect!")
The Matrix: Reloaded (Revolutions sucked, but I don't see the complaint here)
Valley of the Dolls
Underworld

 

[arildno]

Yes, the fifth element is a delightfully campy film (it was a stroke of genius to let jean-paul gaultier in on the movie) that remains thoroughly idiotic.

 

[honestrosewater]

Some were rather good, yes. However, not good enough to save the movie, IMO.
W. Petersen had a great actor in Sean Bean (Ulysses), but for some unfathomable reason, he didn't understand that.

I wanted to see more of Odysseus too. Maybe they're planning to make The Odyssey?

Instead, he slavered over that doe-eyed pansy-elf who hasn't got an actor's fibre in his body (not to mention the horrid woman who played Helen).

Hedlund as Patroclus was a disaster, not to mention the liberties W.P. made as regards the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus.

The guy who played Agamemnon was good, and, of course Peter O'Toole.
Still, the plot was muddled and the film was in general boring&bad.

Okay, I agree with all of that. I thought the guy playing Hector was pretty good too. But I wasn't expecting much in those areas; I just saw it for the action.

Oh, yeah, another thing that bothered me - the 10-year war was reduced to about 10 days!

 

[arildno]

I wanted to see more of Odysseus too. Maybe they're planning to make The Odyssey?

I'm all for everything Greek, dear, including the spelling of names.
However, I thought Ulysses was the usual way of spelling the name in English.
Who should play Circe?

 

[loseyourname]

Ulysses is the latin spelling. One thing I didn't understand in the movie was that they used the Greek names for all the characters, but then called Achilleus by his latin name, Achilles.

 

[Lisa!]

What do you think og 'Gigli'?

 

[arildno]

What do you think og 'Gigli'?

Ben Affleck is about as good an actor as Orlando Bloom; they ought to get together and make the type of movies where their sole assets as "actors" can be fully realized (and, throw in Keanu in that bunch as well).

 

[Daminc]

Easily one of the worst films I've seen in my life was this oriental/vampire mix that had the vampires jumping around everywhere (I can't remember them using their arms at all).

My friend and I just sat there, gob-smacked, and watched the whole thing through trying, and failing, to get a grasp of the film and try to find one redeeming feature.

I believe the film was called "The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires" but I'm not quite sure because I cannot remember Peter Cushing being in the film :( (Mind you, the film actually makes your mind become numb).

 

[Lisa!]

Ben Affleck is about as good an actor as Orlando Bloom; they ought to get together and make the type of movies where their sole assets as "actors" can be fully realized (and, throw in Keanu in that bunch as well).

Orlando Bloom is girlish somehow. I really hate his role in Troy.
Perhaps Keanu isn't a good actor. I don't know why he usually seems to be surprised. But I can tolerate him anyway!

 

[arildno]

Orlando Bloom is girlish somehow. I really hate his role in Troy.

When I think of it, it is O.B.'s abysmal performance in Troy that really makes the movie stink. Every scene with him is a complete disaster, and when that Kruger woman is thrown into the scene, the movie passes beyond the horrendous..


Oh, I have no problems about tolerating Keanu's presence on the screen..

 

[arildno]

Easily one of the worst films I've seen in my life was this oriental/vampire mix that had the vampires jumping around everywhere (I can't remember them using their arms at all).

My friend and I just sat there, gob-smacked, and watched the whole thing through trying, and failing, to get a grasp of the film and try to find one redeeming feature.

I believe the film was called "The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires" but I'm not quite sure because I cannot remember Peter Cushing being in the film :( (Mind you, the film actually makes your mind become numb).

Sounds positively horrid; where can I rent it?

 

[honestrosewater]

Movies that I suppose were decent but are way overrated and I just don't understand the appeal:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Moulin Rouge
Mystic River

I didn't make it through Moulin Rouge. I didn't think Mystic River was that great either. But at the very end, when Kevin Bacon and Sean Penn are standing alone in the street, just after Bacon says something to Penn, the theatre's sound messed up and I missed Penn's response. It seemed like an important part in the movie - maybe hearing it would have made a difference.

I'm all for everything Greek, dear, including the spelling of names.
However, I thought Ulysses was the usual way of spelling the name in English.
Who should play Circe?

Sorry, it's just my deep-seated contempt for Roman Mythology surfacing. Heh, for Circe, I don't know, Anjelica Huston can be pretty scary. Cate Blanchett as Penelope and Athena. Kate Winslet as Calypso.

 

[loseyourname]

Sorry, it's just my deep-seated contempt for Roman Mythology surfacing.

Why? Because it's derivative on Greek mythology? Pretty much all of the classical western mythological traditions (including Greek) can be traced to Sumerian roots.

 

[honestrosewater]

Ulysses is the latin spelling. One thing I didn't understand in the movie was that they used the Greek names for all the characters, but then called Achilleus by his latin name, Achilles.

I imagine because Achilles is much more common. I don't even mind Achilles, and I usually hate roman/latin thievings.

 

[honestrosewater]

Why? Because it's derivative on Greek mythology? Pretty much all of the classical western mythological traditions (including Greek) can be traced to Sumerian roots.

Well, I didn't say it was logical. I fell in love with Greek Mythology as a kid, and the Romans just seemed to either blatantly steal or ruin it.

 

[arildno]

Why? Because it's derivative on Greek mythology? Pretty much all of the classical western mythological traditions (including Greek) can be traced to Sumerian roots.

The Norse mythology is refreshingly original; you could probably find many parallells to other, older mythologies, but it certainly is as interesting as the Greek.

For example, the story of Odin pawning his eye because he craves the knowledge he can gain by drinking from Mimr's well is quite a striking image of ruthless/reckless knowledge/power-seeking..

 

[loseyourname]

The fable of the ring of Gyges in Plato's Republic is quite a tale of ruthless power-grabbing.

 

[arildno]

The fable of the ring of Gyges in Plato's Republic is quite a tale of ruthless power-grabbing.

I never said that Greek myths were bad, just that Norse myths are at least as good..

 

[Daminc]

Sounds positively horrid; where can I rent it?

I suspect you may find it in a badly lit, seedy underworld type video shop. I would NOT recommend it. It is bad. BAD, BAD, BAD ,BAD , BAD.

You'll probably lose several IQ points by watching. You've seen The Ring right? Where the person dies after watching the video? Ok, it's not extreme as that. You probably won't actually die but you will be scarred for the rest of your life.

 

[arildno]

I suspect you may find it in a badly lit, seedy underworld type video shop. I would NOT recommend it. It is bad. BAD, BAD, BAD ,BAD , BAD.

You'll probably lose several IQ points by watching. You've seen The Ring right? Where the person dies after watching the video? Ok, it's not extreme as that. You probably won't actually die but you will be scarred for the rest of your life.

Actually I haven't seen The Ring, neither the japanese original or the dilated (diluted?) American rip-off.
Just as well, obviously.