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http://onion.com/news/index.php?issue=4112&n=1ATLANTA—Panic is spreading among American dog owners, following the Center for Veterinary Medicine's Monday announcement that the arrival of a deadly mutant strain of Africanized killer fleas is imminent.
"No dog is safe," CVM director Stephen Sundlof said. "While canines around the U.S. innocently fetch sticks and chase their tails, killer fleas are migrating north at a rate of two kilometers a day. They've already invaded the border towns of Texas and California. We've got to act now, before our pets pay the price." [continued]
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