- #1
Seraphin
- 8
- 0
I'm just so ambivalent about going back to school in the fall, my courses, my future, everything.
I know there's a lot of caution against trying to force yourself into a subject that doesn't hold a lot of interest for you but, aside from quitting or changing to another major, how do you get re-interested? I just feel unbearably stupid and rudderless. My classmates are probably not much smarter than I am, but there's so many things that I feel like I should know or be doing or reading about but I just have so much to learn it feels like I'm the only person in the world doing it. Even my classmates are more concerned with Star Wars or drinking and girls than with their subject, it seems.
My GPA is excellent, I have friends, my health is fine so I'm not depressed or any sort of nonsense like that or thinking 'college may not be right for me' (if I'm bored at the prospect of physics, the prospect of any other field or career is almost coma-inducing) but I have a weird sort of ennui. I do other things, like play lots of tennis and work on my languages but even those things are take-it-or-leave-it. I could conceivably graduate with my dual physics and math degree with pretty good grades but there's a difference between doing the bare minimum and striving to be excellent at something. I do nothing by half measures but I can't see a way out of this. What do I need to do? Beg to be someone's lab monkey (I can do little more than wash beakers and program minimally)? Hope that my classmates are actually capable of serious scientifical discussion besides "Hurhur, what's on the test? What'd you get for #2?"
I know there's a lot of caution against trying to force yourself into a subject that doesn't hold a lot of interest for you but, aside from quitting or changing to another major, how do you get re-interested? I just feel unbearably stupid and rudderless. My classmates are probably not much smarter than I am, but there's so many things that I feel like I should know or be doing or reading about but I just have so much to learn it feels like I'm the only person in the world doing it. Even my classmates are more concerned with Star Wars or drinking and girls than with their subject, it seems.
My GPA is excellent, I have friends, my health is fine so I'm not depressed or any sort of nonsense like that or thinking 'college may not be right for me' (if I'm bored at the prospect of physics, the prospect of any other field or career is almost coma-inducing) but I have a weird sort of ennui. I do other things, like play lots of tennis and work on my languages but even those things are take-it-or-leave-it. I could conceivably graduate with my dual physics and math degree with pretty good grades but there's a difference between doing the bare minimum and striving to be excellent at something. I do nothing by half measures but I can't see a way out of this. What do I need to do? Beg to be someone's lab monkey (I can do little more than wash beakers and program minimally)? Hope that my classmates are actually capable of serious scientifical discussion besides "Hurhur, what's on the test? What'd you get for #2?"