What Are Some of the Funniest Song Lyrics You've Heard?

[anaemic1]

Loudon Wainwright III - The Acid Song. The man's touring and I've got my tickets for May.

I had not taken acid for twelve years
But one night last summer I did
I was adrift in a bar room
Acting like a jerk and a kid

I knew we were asking for trouble
Trouble was what we would get
Five of us dropped in the girls' room
Sacadilicised insane quintet

Well that bathroom got crowded in no time
Our minds were all blown in one flash
Everyone in there got ugly
We exited out of there fast

Back in the bar we were happy
Feeling great, no problem
Back in the bar we were fine
Till Johnny turned into a Nazi
And Mary threw up all her wine

Well in no time we all were ejected
Soon we were out on the street
The sidewalk began to perspire
We had glass and dog **** at our feet

We went over to Mary's apartment
c'mon
To listen to the Grateful Dead
On the way there we lost Johnny
He had opted for Bellevue instead

Well I'm really glad we did this, it feels great. Just like the old days, I love this.
I know my hair's on fire, it's like incense or something
You know, your face is melting
It is, it's all the colours of the rainbow

Hey you want to hold some fruit?
C'mon, hold some fruit
It breeds, it really does
Have a cantaloupe, c'mon
Ah, no I don't know where the Donovan tape is

Well I had to get out of that city
Bobby was bringing me down
Me and my darling young Susie
Said so long and drove out of town

Driving on acid is easy
Driving on acid's a breeze
Just keep the car on the highway
Don't laugh and don't fart and don't sneeze

Oh we got to my house in the country
In the country man
The trees were all throbbing and green
Susie was sure she had cancer
I was sure I was James Dean

We went down the lake to go swimming
C'mon let's try it out
Down to the lake for a swim
Susie said water cures cancer
I asked her to please call me Jim

Yes acid is usually dangerous
The mild-mannered can quickly turn mean
Lsd can surely derange us
Unless you possesses Thorazine

So next time you want to go out there
When you feel like fitting your head
Think twice before dropping acid
Hold out for mushrooms instead!

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Screenwriters Blues
exits to freeways twisted like knots on the fingers
jewels cleaving skin between breasts
your cadillac reads 400 horses over blue lines
you are going to Recida to make love to a model from Ohio
whose real name you don't know
you spin like the cadillac was overturning down a cliff on television
and the radio is on
and the radio man is speaking
and the radio man says women were a curse
so men built Paramount studios
and men built Columbia studios
and men built Los Angeles
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
and the radio man says it is a beautiful night out there
and the radio man says rock and roll lives
and the radio man says it is a beautiful night out there in Los Angeles
you live in Los Angeles and you are going to Recida
we are all in some way or another going to Recida some day, to die
and the radio man laughs because the radio man ****s a model too
gone savage for teenagers with automatic weapons and boundless love
gone savage for teenagers who are aesthetically pleasing,
in other words, fly
Los Angeles beckons the teenagers to come to her on buses
Los Angeles loves love
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
i am going to Los Angeles to build a screenplay about lovers
who murder each other
i am going to Los Angeles to see my own name on a screen
five feet long and luminous
as the radio man says it is 5 a.m. and the sun has charred
the other end of the world and come back to us
and painted the smoke over our heads an imperial violet
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
it is 5 a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles
you are listening
you are listening
you are listening...
to Los Angeles.

I loved this album...

 

[CosminaPrisma]

Ricky Martin, or William Hung She Bangs
http://www.lyrics4all.net/w/william-hung/u/she-bangs.php"