So, with your help I am much closer to the answer, but I'm making a mistake somewhere I guess. This is what I'm coming up with:
1/4 [|a+b|^2 - |a-b|^2] = 1/4 [⟨a+b,a+b⟩ - ⟨a+(-1)b,a+(-1)b⟩]
= 1/4 [⟨a,a+b⟩ + ⟨b,a+b⟩ - ⟨a,a+(-1)b⟩ + ⟨b,a+(-1)b⟩]
= 1/4 [⟨a,a⟩ + ⟨a,b⟩ + ⟨b,a⟩ + ⟨b,b⟩ - ⟨a,a⟩ +...