Relationships: What's Important - Happiness or Purpose?

[Lisa!]

Is being in relationship with a person that you know he's not your kind and this relationship wouldn't last for so long? I mean you know that person can keep you interested for a short time since he's cute and fun but well, he's not good for life since you have very different plans and values in life and your ideas of life and world are totally different.
To cut te ling story short, what's important in a relationship? Being happy with each other as long as you're together, or relationships should save more important purposes?

P.S. I guess you call it crush not love but anyway...

 

[Danger]

You're describing pretty much the situation that I'm in with W. I was sure that it would wear off... right up until we started shopping for a house.

 

[Lisa!]

what's wrong? I thought that was the problem of kiddies not people at your age...

 

[wolram]

You have a crush on some one Lisa, Awww that's cute

he will be in the loony bin before the crush wears off, so do not fret .

 

[Danger]

I thought that was the problem of kiddies not people at your age...

How on Earth did you figure that? I'm still after the same kind of woman that I've always been... it's just harder to catch them now.

 

[rocketboy]

same situation I'm in kinda...cept we've been dating almost 5 months...but in september i leave and she stays here...not looking forward to it.

in reply to your question, I would say yea its worth it, it's worth every minute of it...while it lasts. it's really corny, but the saying "its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all" is definitely true, at least imo.

 

[Cyrus]

Is being in relationship with a person that you know he's not your kind and this relationship wouldn't last for so long? I mean you know that person can keep you interested for a short time since he's cute and fun but well, he's not good for life since you have very different plans and values in life and your ideas of life and world are totally different.
To cut te ling story short, what's important in a relationship? Being happy with each other as long as you're together, or relationships should save more important purposes?

P.S. I guess you call it crush not love but anyway...

If you are not happy, I can arrange a marriage for you Lisa! Why are you not yet arranged to be wed? Something must be wrong with you. Are you really that ugly? You shuold have 7-10 kids by now.

 

[Danger]

"its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all"

The version that I heard was "It's better to have loved and lost, than wed and be forever bossed."

 

[rocketboy]

The version that I heard was "It's better to have loved and lost, than wed and be forever bossed."

LOL i love it.

 

[JasonRox]

Yeah, that's like my relationship.

We have different plans and different values and so on. We have been together for like 17 months now.

I'm 22 years old and she's 21 right now. So, I was 21 and she was 19 when we met. I guess that's "kiddie" age.

 

[wolram]

If you are not happy, I can arrange a marriage for you Lisa! Why are you not yet arranged to be wed? Something must be wrong with you. Are you really that ugly? You shuold have 7-10 kids by now.

She can only go out when there is a full moon, so it is hard for her to meet proper people.

 

[Hurkyl]

Is being in relationship with a person that you know he's not your kind and this relationship wouldn't last for so long? I mean you know that person can keep you interested for a short time since he's cute and fun but well, he's not good for life since you have very different plans and values in life and your ideas of life and world are totally different.
To cut te ling story short, what's important in a relationship? Being happy with each other as long as you're together, or relationships should save more important purposes?

P.S. I guess you call it crush not love but anyway...

I think that the potential for the relationship to have a future is very important. If you think that it can't go anywhere, then don't start it.

If nothing else, it would diminish your chances of getting together with someone with whom you could have a long-term relationship.

Why are you looking at me that way? It could happen! And I am glad I didn't ask out the cute Australian girl who's going home next year.

 

[rcgldr]

Watch the movie "Prime", (out on DVD) now, a chick movie about this very subject.

 

[Zantra]

If you're still young, carpe diem I say. Just don't pick out the wedding cake..

 

[Echo 6 Sierra]

"If you can't be with the one you love, Honey, love the one you're with."

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young.

 

[ToxicBug]

This thread requires a pic of the poster in order to give you an answer.

 

[Lisa!]

Danger, I thought people at your age wouldn't have that kinda problem since they know who they're looking for and what they want to get of a relationship. I myself still don't know that.(well, I'd explain about it later...)
For those who are wondering why I'm not married yet: the majority of guys I've met in real life are almost like cyrus.(I mean the same attitude) Now I guess any sane person around here could figure out what's wrong here...

ToxicBug, well I guess this thread requires a pic of poster's crush to help you responding to my question! maybe it needs a pic of both poster and her crush, eh?

I think that the potential for the relationship to have a future is very important. If you think that it can't go anywhere, then don't start it.

If nothing else, it would diminish your chances of getting together with someone with whom you could have a long-term relationship.

Why are you looking at me that way? It could happen! And I am glad I didn't ask out the cute Australian girl who's going home next year.

Eh, I get back to this post later since I guess I need to think more about what you said!

 

[Bladibla]

I hate you lisa.

 

[Cyrus]

For those who are wondering why I'm not married yet: the majority of guys I've met in real life are almost like cyrus.(I mean the same attitude)

Yes, almost, but none come close to being as good looking as me.

Please, no more autographs Lisa...

 

[Lisa!]

Yes, almost, but none come close to being as good looking as me.

I've met lots of guys from shiraz, non cute but all good conversationalists! Unfortunately you seem not to be able fool people by your tongue...
Enough of that anyway since I just didn't want this thread go off topic or gets too personal...

I hate you lisa.

Is that what you've wanted to tell me in almost all of my threads?*shrug* I really don't care what PF'ers especially those who're rude to me feel about me!
Personally I never waste my time telling people how much I dislike them. In fact I just try to avoid them!

 

[Wishbone]

if you're going to a physics forum to learn about love, then you're not in great shape.

 

[Lisa!]

And if you're in a physics forum and can't understand what's the subject of a thread, you must be in a wrnog place! From now on, off topic posts aren't really welcome since I don't have time to read them...

 

[Danger]

Danger, I thought people at your age wouldn't have that kinda problem since they know who they're looking for and what they want to get of a relationship.

There's a difference between knowing what you want and being able to get it. You're in a good position to find that; I'm too old to. Compromise is in order. She really loves me, which is more important than being able to talk about things that interest me. I have PF for that, as well as lots of friends in real life. The only thing that hurts is not being able to have kids. That was always one of my foremost requirements. No one who's still reproductive would want a serious relationship with me, although I do have lots of young female friends.
Anyhow, I love her too, so why screw it up?

 

[ToxicBug]

ToxicBug, well I guess this thread requires a pic of poster's crush to help you responding to my question! maybe it needs a pic of both poster and her crush, eh?

Yes, that makes sense, just post some pics.

 

[Lisa!]

There's a difference between knowing what you want and being able to get it. You're in a good position to find that; I'm too old to. Compromise is in order. She really loves me, which is more important than being able to talk about things that interest me. I have PF for that, as well as lots of friends in real life. The only thing that hurts is not being able to have kids. That was always one of my foremost requirements. No one who's still reproductive would want a serious relationship with me, although I do have lots of young female friends.
Anyhow, I love her too, so why screw it up?

Well, you can't have evrything together most of the time! Although I really don't see any problem here since I don't care about having kids and sometimes I think if I'd ever want to have kid, I'd adopt 1.
Persoanlly I can think of some reasons why we like having kids, but I like to know others' people's ideas on that as well. So I really appreciate it if you (or anyone else)share their reasons on why they want to have kids with me!:shy:

 

[Danger]

I'll PM you on that. It'll take a while to compose it, though. I'm at work, and it's a busy day.

 

[Astronuc]

Well, you can't have evrything together most of the time! Although I really don't see any problem here since I don't care about having kids and sometimes I think if I'd ever want to have kid, I'd adopt 1.

Ostensibly, that depends on one's partner, in this case the 'right' man. When I met the woman who became my wife, she had decided that she would never marry and never have children. After three months of dating, she changed to definitely getting married and most likely having children.

Personally I can think of some reasons why we like having kids, but I like to know others' people's ideas on that as well. So I really appreciate it if you (or anyone else)share their reasons on why they want to have kids with me!

Having children is a very personal matter, particularly for women who must bear the children. Ideally, one wishes to have a child (or children), and hopefully one has a partner who shares that view. My wife and I had children because we 'both' wanted to have children. Children require an enormous commitment.

It doesn't work very well if one of two wants children and the other doesn't or is indifferent.

Similarly, marriage only works if both partners are more or less committed to the relationship.

Regarding the OP.

Is being in relationship with a person that you know he's not your kind and this relationship wouldn't last for so long? I mean you know that person can keep you interested for a short time since he's cute and fun but well, he's not good for life since you have very different plans and values in life and your ideas of life and world are totally different.
To cut te ling story short, what's important in a relationship? Being happy with each other as long as you're together, or relationships should save more important purposes?

Consider maintain a platonic relationship, i.e. friendship, and develop expectations along those lines.

As for what is important in a relationship - mutual respect - from which follows reciprocity.

 

[Lisa!]

I think that the potential for the relationship to have a future is very important. If you think that it can't go anywhere, then don't start it.

The problem is that I get tired of people very soon and anyway the relationship wouldn't get anywhere. Eh, but how knows? Perhaps that's because I've not met the right person.

If nothing else, it would diminish your chances of getting together with someone with whom you could have a long-term relationship.

Aha! Sometimes I say it couldn't be a bad idea to be with someone for a while in order to get some experiences but then I think of losing the chances. And you know I guess I don't like to be 1 of those people who cheat on their partners as soon as they think they've found a better person since I don't like to be treated that way. Not yet...

Why are you looking at me that way? It could happen! And I am glad I didn't ask out the cute Australian girl who's going home next year.

hmmm...
Does that mean you've Mrs right after that?

 

[Hurkyl]

Does that mean you've Mrs right after that?

Maybe! I haven't managed to get an opportunity to ask her out yet, though.

 

[Moonbear]

I think what you describe in the OP, of a person who is cute and fun to be around, but maybe not long-term relationship material, is what I call a "fling." No harm in having fun together, and sometimes the longer you spend together and get to know each other, the more you grow together and find that a long term relationship can develop. I don't think you ever meet someone on the first day and think they're the person you're going to marry. You get there more gradually.

I think Danger, especially, will appreciate what my step-brother always used to say...he'd settle down and get married when he was too old and slow to catch the attractive women before they ran away, so would have to marry one to keep her.

 

[Danger]

That about sums it up.

 

[Lisa!]

Maybe! I haven't managed to get an opportunity to ask her out yet, though.

Come On!

Ah it's really annoying when you guys love someone but you just don't go telling the person straightly. I mean you finally do but sometimes that's too late! Lazy guys... sometimes it seems you expect the girl to ask you out 1st and when she doesn't well you do it but very late...

 

[Hurkyl]

I'm not lazy; I wanted to ask her out in person rather than e-mail, but I haven't actually seen her face to face in a while. (and that's not for a lack of trying. )

 

[Lisa!]

I'm not lazy; I wanted to ask her out in person rather than e-mail, but I haven't actually seen her face to face in a while. (and that's not for a lack of trying. )

Ok ok don't get angry! I hope you see her face to face very soon or try to see her face to face and then ask her out! You guys might not be lazy but girls(at least me) are very impatient...


i still think you guys are very lazy. You don't say anything as long as you have the opportunity aand just try to do something when it's more difficult to do something...

 

[Omega_6]

I don't see what the problem is of letting a guy know how you feel...especially if you're that impatient.It is not always because we are lazy.