Why would a girl ignore your calls?

[DanP]

Dude, they all have baggage. Guess she's get on me for saying that too. And what if she's really pretty and sexy? That stuff gets in the way of good thinking you know. I mean most men would say, "baggage? . . . ugh . . . but can I keep her a few weeks?" yeah, right. But after that, and somethin'-somethin' all during that time, well, now you owe her and just can't leave. Not easily anyway. They can get really nasty.

Are you kidding me ?

 

[cronxeh]

Never bring a Dan to a Jack fight

 

[DaveC426913]

Never bring a Dan to a Jack fight

 

[jackmell]

Are you kidding me ?

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems. I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

 

[DaveC426913]

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems.

Really? Cuz you could kinda fool me...

I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

Well, if my wisdom teaches me anything, it's that relationships are a two-way street.

My wife's ex probably thought she was psycho too. Turns out they were just incompatible.

 

[GeorginaS]

Generally, anyone with baggage is bad news, they seldom worth the effort.

If you've been alive for more than two years, you have baggage of some description or other. That's just life.

No. But I do know one thing I'm not doing, and that's talk about my relationship problems. I deal with them quite nicely these days by the method of, "I DON'T DATE" unless she first fill-out a twenty-five page affadavit describing all her issues, hangups, baggage, or other general-purpose psycho bit_h behaviors.

But oh, you guys think I'm funnin' or playing. "Really Jack, such "supposed" psycho-bit_hes are only myth right," you may ask? Well I am alive to tell you "no-contrair mon Piere vous psycho bit_hes" because I dated one. But what did you do Jack? Well . . . the sex was good and all (we're not teenagers so ok), and well other than that, all I wanna' say is it was frickin' hell.

Um, okay, did you read what you just wrote? For real? Re: your issues about people with emotional baggage. Irony, yes? I mean, for you to bi**h about women's emotional baggage? You noted the steamer trunk you just unpacked, right?

 

[Antiphon]

Ephedyn: if you're not emulating James Bond, you need to start. That's what women like- a man in charge but civilized and in complete control. Give up the emo routine even if it's natural. I'm the long run it will loose you a lot of prime chicks.

 

[GeorginaS]

Ephedyn: if you're not emulating James Bond, you need to start. That's what women like- a man in charge but civilized and in complete control. Give up the emo routine even if it's natural. I'm the long run it will loose you a lot of prime chicks.

And, and, and, be sure to call them all "prime chicks". Broads are really into that too.

 

[DanP]

If you've been alive for more than two years, you have baggage of some description or other. That's just life.

Pretty much false. I won't enter any debate on this theme, but if you feel you have it, learn to let it go.

 

[DaveC426913]

I won't enter any debate on this theme...

Feel free to. You'll just have to keep a civil tongue.

Pretty much false.

It is not false. Your experience may differ, however. You are either very lucky, or very young.

 

[GeorginaS]

Pretty much false. I won't enter any debate on this theme, but if you feel you have it, learn to let it go.

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not. Your choice.

Okay then; here’s mine.

There’s nothing for me to let go of. I am who I am. From the moment I drew my first breath people and my environment have been having an impact on me. I’m the sum of my genetic predisposition and how my experiences have interacted with that. I have foibles and faults and strengths and humour. I have the ability to deal with huge emotional stresses and the ability to crumble under someone’s harsh words. I can love until my heart’s set to explode, and I can feel shaky when that love feels exposed or vulnerable. I can also withdraw and be cold to protect myself. I can be kind and generous and warm. I get angry when pushed or when I witness cruelty.

And to what degree I do all or any of those things depends upon my previous experiences and lessons learned and how my given psyche deals with all of that.

That’s what I mean when I say that anyone who’s been alive for more than two years has “emotional baggage”. You begin learning responses to stimuli dumped on you by other people really, really early in life. Therefore everyone develops trigger mechanisms and responses to the people around them. Therefore you are not going to meet anyone who is “free of emotional baggage”. We’ve all had other people have an impact on us in one way or another. We all react and respond – we all come with programming. No one is “free” of it because we’re all human.

 

[DaveC426913]

... we all come with programming.

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

 

[DaveC426913]

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not.

Because he was unwilling or unable to do so without swearing and denigrating, causing his entire post to be deleted. So now he's self-muzzling.

 

[GeorginaS]

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

Absolutely.

 

[GeorginaS]

Because he was unwilling or unable to do so without swearing and denigrating, causing his entire post to be deleted. So now he's self-muzzling.

And that is really and truly unfortunate. There's a whole bunch of valuable experience we have an opportunity to share with each other, here. A couple of people seem to feel this is a combative conversation zone, and I don't understand why.

 

[ephedyn]

OK an update... before this thread gets out of topic.

What do you do if she starts to send you some messages again, before the 1 week has even elapsed?

Edit: Oh yeah, and I haven't replied the messages at all because she wasn't asking any questions anyway, so I take it that she wasn't interested in a conversation.

Quite frankly I've been feeling such an inner peace after starting to cast her problem aside that I can go on ignoring her altogether for good and go about finding someone who could be a better friend or more. @_@;

 

[GeorginaS]

Quite frankly I've been feeling such an inner peace after starting to cast her problem aside that I can go on ignoring her altogether for good and go about finding someone who could be a better friend or more. @_@;

If this is a genuine, for-real feeling and everything, it's a really good one to go with.

 

[DanP]

Feel free to. You'll just have to keep a civil tongue.

Whatever.

 

[DanP]

You won’t debate it nor support your position, evidently, DanP. I'm not sure why not. Your choice.

Okay then; here’s mine.

There’s nothing for me to let go of. I am who I am. From the moment I drew my first breath people and my environment have been having an impact on me. I’m the sum of my genetic predisposition and how my experiences have interacted with that. I have foibles and faults and strengths and humour. I have the ability to deal with huge emotional stresses and the ability to crumble under someone’s harsh words. I can love until my heart’s set to explode, and I can feel shaky when that love feels exposed or vulnerable. I can also withdraw and be cold to protect myself. I can be kind and generous and warm. I get angry when pushed or when I witness cruelty.

And to what degree I do all or any of those things depends upon my previous experiences and lessons learned and how my given psyche deals with all of that.

That’s what I mean when I say that anyone who’s been alive for more than two years has “emotional baggage”. You begin learning responses to stimuli dumped on you by other people really, really early in life. Therefore everyone develops trigger mechanisms and responses to the people around them. Therefore you are not going to meet anyone who is “free of emotional baggage”. We’ve all had other people have an impact on us in one way or another. We all react and respond – we all come with programming. No one is “free” of it because we’re all human.

This is simple not "baggage". This is your "self" as shaped by genetic and social interactions. I think some ppl around here make a confusion between baggage and , for better or worse, being yourself.

Most of the persons I know are normal. I am simply amazed when ppl start to tell me how many ppl with baggage they meet.

 

[Astronuc]

And we continue to write our programming as we go through life.

and rewrite, update, revise, . . . .

 

[nucleargirl]

OK an update... before this thread gets out of topic.

What do you do if she starts to send you some messages again, before the 1 week has even elapsed?

Edit: Oh yeah, and I haven't replied the messages at all because she wasn't asking any questions anyway, so I take it that she wasn't interested in a conversation.

;

Depends on what she said in the messages - what was her tone? like want to be friends again? or just being polite? or anything else? In her mind there isn't a one week time limit lol... so its quite normal for her to contact you, knowing you were good friends.

 

[cronxeh]

wanna be friends again?

Oh hells no! I would slam the phone so superhard it would turn rotary!

 

[lisab]

If this is a genuine, for-real feeling and everything, it's a really good one to go with.

Excellent advice

 

[ephedyn]

lisab/GeorginaS: *shrugs* Yeah I had enough. If someone asks me now what I look for in a person, scrap that personality, appearance, humor, confidence, generosity, kindness stuff. I'm looking for someone who's uniform, consistent, and logical. Like physics.

Depends on what she said in the messages - what was her tone? like want to be friends again? or just being polite? or anything else? In her mind there isn't a one week time limit lol... so its quite normal for her to contact you, knowing you were good friends.

I'll think "just being polite" fits best. I don't know why she's saying sorry quite a number of times ("Sorry I was busy", "Sorry I was being...").

croxneh: Lol, slam the phone and "it will turn rotary". That's the first time I've heard that expression.

 

[nucleargirl]

I'll think "just being polite" fits best. I don't know why she's saying sorry quite a number of times ("Sorry I was busy", "Sorry I was being...").

hm... maybe she's feeling guilty for not being there for you when you needed her... and maybe she genuinely WAS busy! and your mutual friend just caught her at a good time. You know, its not good to write off all females just cos of one incident with one person. And this is all speculation, we don't know what's really going on - you should talk to her properly about it before making your judgements.

 

[Antiphon]

And, and, and, be sure to call them all "prime chicks". Broads are really into that too.

Actually, I should have said "prime slices of a**" because that's what's wrong with the boy- not enough testosterone in his thought process. Your post shows that that kind of thinking is alien to most women. Like it or not though it's how healthy men should think.

 

[lisab]

I'll think "just being polite" fits best. I don't know why she's saying sorry quite a number of times ("Sorry I was busy", "Sorry I was being...").

This is one of my pet peeves - sorry, sorry, sorry. I think it has become simply a space filler word, just fluff, in common language.

 

[mheslep]

My all time favorite example of what not to do, and also an example imo that, even knowing better, everybody goes to far regardless at some point; hopefully the pain provides the gain of a lesson learned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk

 

[DanP]

And this is all speculation, we don't know what's really going on - you should talk to her properly about it before making your judgements.

Ye ...

recall this line "Sorry I was busy" and pair it with "Ill explain everything when Ill meet you". Run when you hear any of them :P You are being stringed.

 

[cronxeh]

My all time favorite example of what not to do, and also an example imo that, even knowing better, everybody goes to far regardless at some point; hopefully the pain provides the gain of a lesson learned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk

Oh that is super lame. I'd not even bother leaving a voicemail, that's just stupid.

 

[mheslep]

Oh that is super lame. I'd not even bother leaving a voicemail, that's just stupid.

Seen the film? If so, ever walked that walk?

 

[cronxeh]

Seen the film? If so, ever walked that walk?

No, and hells no.

 

[Dembadon]

Actually, I should have said "prime slices of a**" because that's what's wrong with the boy- not enough testosterone in his thought process. Your post shows that that kind of thinking is alien to most women. Like it or not though it's how healthy men should think.

Since you've given no sign as to whether or not you're joking, I'll assume you're serious.

After you define what you mean by the word "healthy," can you please provide the results of a study showing high scores (in the "healthy" category, as you've defined it) from men who sexually objectify women?

 

[DanP]

Since you've given no sign as to whether or not you're joking, I'll assume you're serious.

After you define what you mean by the word "healthy," can you please provide the results of a study showing high scores (in the "healthy" category, as you've defined it) from men who sexually objectify women?

that's pretty far fetched, alluding that men with high testosterone "sexually objectify women"

 

[DanP]

It is not false. Your experience may differ, however. You are either very lucky, or very young.

I guess you too have a pretty different view of "baggage". Some minor trust issues which can be worked out and other things like this are really not what I consider baggage. Try never-ending drama, being in love with her ex while trying to build a new life, cheating permanently on her husband but never able to leave him, substance abuses, women so jealous that they physically hit you when you talk to another women, lie about abysmal credit, sometimes kids from previous marriages ... I could go on about what I think as baggage.

I don't consider myself very lucky, but I can honestly tell you that I was satisfied in most of my relationships, and *none* of them let me with such a bitter taste in my mouth to think at women as clinically cases and ask for 20 pages CVs before dating them or whatever. I liked someone, I've hit on her and courted her. I've been happy sometimes. I've been hurt sometimes. Just the rules of the game =).

If I where a lucky man, I would have had what Turbo or Astronuc have in their life. I do not. However, girls made me happy, the balance is positive.

And yes, I agree with you, I am still a very young man. Any man under 50 should consider himself very young. I pity the fools who feel old in their 30s.