Pick-up Lines for the Opposite (or Same) Gender

[TimNguyen]

Hey, do you guys know any good pick-up lines for the opposite (or same, if you prefer) gender? Here's some I came across...

How do you hit on a mathematician?
Say "As I'm a delta away from you, it implies that you're an epsilon away from going out with me."

How do you hit on a physicist?
Say "As I approach you at near the speed of light, I hope I can experience the time dilation of seeing you for eternity."

 

[Pengwuino]

If I even saw someone trying to use either of those pickup lines, id walk up to them and beat them senseless.

 

[honestrosewater]

If I even saw someone trying to use either of those pickup lines, id walk up to them and beat them senseless.

Walk? I thought penguins waddled.


waddle waddle

 

[Pengwuino]

waddle waddle :D

 

[honestrosewater]

I've heard one about math, but it's uncouth. Here tis:
Hey, do you like math? Well, add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and let's multiply!

Sorry.

waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle...

 

[Pengwuino]

Dont waddle! how dare you insult my culture :(

And are there any pick up lines in existence that won't receive a slap in the face as a response?

 

[wolram]

If you held 11 roses and looked in a mirror you would see 12 of the most
beautiful things.

 

[wolram]

Mechanic, i am nuts about your chassis, can i take you out for a test drive.

 

[Pengwuino]

No wonder there are so many lesbians.

 

[honestrosewater]

Mechanic, i am nuts about your chassis, can i take you out for a test drive.

That's when I bolt. Hah, bolt.

Sorry.


wafflewafflewafflewaffle

 

[matthyaouw]

How do you like your eggs in the morning- scrambled or fertilized?
(n.b. Only use this chat up line if you are out of slapping range, really good at dodging, or suicidal.)


Seriously though, I really don't understand the point of chat up lines... I've never heard one that wouldn't repel me instantly, and I've never used one.

 

[hypnagogue]

And are there any pick up lines in existence that won't receive a slap in the face as a response?

How about, "Hey baby, slap me in the face if you want to do the nasty."

My favorite has always been, "Nice shoes. Wanna ****?"

And for the pure cheesiness factor, there's "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

 

[honestrosewater]

How about, "Hey baby, slap me in the face if you want to do the nasty."

INconCEIVable!

 

[hitssquad]

Who needs a pick-up line when an image speaks a thousand words?

 

[GOD__AM]

Hay baby can I smell your *****? No, oh then it must be your feet.

 

[wolram]

I feel sick, if any woman falls for these, bless you. your brain is redundant.

Edit:At least Wolram has some common sense (prior quotes deleted)

 

[JasonRox]

I always thought greeting someone of the opposite sex worked pretty well.

Probably the best way to start.

 

[rocketboy]

"hey, my name's _______, (<--insert name here) remember it now because you'll be screaming it later."

I like the roses one.

 

[JasonRox]

Also, I try to avoid personal compliments until I know she has interest in me. This should be obvious within minutes after meeting someone.

 

[cronxeh]

hmm

im going to stick with the shoes one.. and maybe the eggs one

 

[loseyourname]

A friend of mine always wanted to get Jesus, along with something he said, tattooed onto his penis. According to him, he would then use these two lines:

Damn girl, you look like you need some Jesus in you.

The word of the lord - put it in your mouth.

 

[Evo]

<shakes her head>

These threads go downhill so quickly...

 

[loseyourname]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

*He does like using cheesy lines, though. One scenario in particular that I remember is this: He was working as a cashier at Blockbuster, and when a girl was leaving the store, he turned the alarm on and said he had to check her. When she replied that she wasn't stealing anything, he answered "only my heart."

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

 

[Evo]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

I didn't say it wasn't funny.

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

They do make you look better.

 

[Physics is Phun]

Hey baby! nice assymptote!

 

[mattmns]

Oh come on, it's not like he would actually do that.* If you don't find that funny, that's fine, but I thought it was hilarious.

*He does like using cheesy lines, though. One scenario in particular that I remember is this: He was working as a cashier at Blockbuster, and when a girl was leaving the store, he turned the alarm on and said he had to check her. When she replied that she wasn't stealing anything, he answered "only my heart."

Just so you don't get the impression that my friends are completely crass idiots.

Haha, that is awesome!

 

[The_Professional]

I find that saying a simple hi or commenting on a book she's reading especially when she's in a bookstore does wonders. And if she likes you she'll keep the conversation flowing. When they like you they help you.

 

[rocketboy]

I guess there's a reason your name is "The_Professional".

Lol, my friend used the old "I lost my number can I have yours" line on some girl and he actually started talking to her and got a number...who knows, it might have been fake but it is still funny.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Last night a woman gave me her number. I asked and she gave it to me. Didn't need any lines. I did flatter her though by telling her that her hair looked great and a couple other things. I was afraid that it wasn't going to go off though because a female friend of mine kept bothering me while I was trying to talk to her. She said that I should stop robbing the nursing homes.

 

[Evo]

She said that I should stop robbing the nursing homes.

Tell me where she is and I'll whack her with my cane!

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Tell me where she is and I'll whack her with my cane!

Had you been there I'm sure you would have. Her words were actually far worse than what I posted. I think that really she was intervening because she likes me though.



I've used a couple cheesy lines before. I once told a girl "Any man would be lucky to lose his heart to you and if by some freak occurance that doesn't happen you can have dibs on mine." or something approximately like that.

 

[LURCH]

Somehting in French usually goes over well. I like; "Ju Naje, don lu jambon, e formage"(sp; I never learned how to spell it).

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

That would definitely be a cheesy pick up line.

---edit---
ofcourse the only word I know in there is "fromage", and I'm just assuming that you misspelled it and that is the word you were using.

 

[rocketboy]

Somehting in French usually goes over well. I like; "Ju Naje, don lu jambon, e formage"(sp; I never learned how to spell it).

Ya it is definitely spealt wrong, here's what the language translator says your quote means in english:

"Ju Naje, gift read ham, E forming"

Since my french is pretty bad I can't figure out what it was supposed to mean lol.

 

[NewScientist]

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind ALLLL day



I IMHO, have found being a normal guy and saying - 'Hey -I'm ____. Hows it going?' Works well especially if your yourself!