56 Worst Analogies Found in High School Papers

In summary: It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.The only verb in that sentence is "was."If you were to actually think about it, it's almost like a simile.
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  • #3
For the physics people:

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
 
  • #4
Ahahhaa, those were great!

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
 
  • #5
(Need to type something so my message isn't too short)

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
 
  • #6
LOLOL!
:smile::smile::smile::smile:

Those rocked!
Thanks for sharing, GO1!
 
  • #7
Few good, small ones...
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
 
  • #8
Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

What are those gizmos called, anyway?
 
  • #9
BobG said:
What are those gizmos called, anyway?

Twist ties
 
  • #11
This one doesn't even make sense.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
Wouldn't it be the thighs doing the compressing? A Thigh Master doesn't compress itself.
Evo said:
Bread clips.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_clip

I hate those things. I like the twist ties better. Sometimes I get confused on which way to twist, but that's ok.
 
  • #13
sylas said:
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
Too Good!
 
  • #14
At least the blogger knows that these are mostly great analogies, not "worst." If the authors deliberately came up with these for comic effect, then they each had a stroke of genius when writing (in most cases; not all are winners). Some remind me of Dave Barry (#40) , or the writing in Leslie Neilson's (RIP) movies (#28). Some of these are A-list stand-up comedy material for Jake Johannsen (#48), Billy Connolly (#17--actually that IS his bit), and Eddie Izzard (#18). #5 sounds like it's from a Billy Collins Poem. In other words, this is quality stuff.

My favorite of not-yet-quoted:
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
 
Last edited:
  • #15
Chi Meson said:
At least the blogger knows that these are mostly great analogies, not "worst." If the authors deliberately came up with these for comic effect, then they each had a stroke of genius when writing (in most cases; not all are winners). Some remind me of Dave Barry (#40) , or the writing in Leslie Neilson's (RIP) movies (#28). Some of these are A-list stand-up comedy material for Jake Johannsen (#48), Billy Connolly (#17--actually that IS his bit), and Eddie Izzard (#18). #5 sounds like it's from a Billy Collins Poem. In other words, this is quality stuff.

I was going to make a very similar post. I could see several of those lines being said by Leslie Nielsen in a Naked Gun movie.
 
  • #16
Since we're picking favorites, I'll pick this one.
51.It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
.
Its the most unheard of thing I ever heard of.
 
  • #17
My favorites are #1 and #12:

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
 
  • #18
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Is a lot like:

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
which is from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
 
  • #19
Janus said:
Is a lot like:


which is from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
That's one (the construction, not the exact phrase) that I've stolen a few times as well. It's one of my favorite steals, along with (approximately) "disappearing in a puff of logic".
 

FAQ: 56 Worst Analogies Found in High School Papers

What is the purpose of the "56 Worst Analogies Found in High School Papers" list?

The purpose of the list is to highlight and provide examples of poorly written and illogical analogies that were found in high school papers. It serves as a cautionary reminder to students to think critically and carefully when using analogies in their writing.

How were the analogies on this list chosen?

The analogies were chosen based on their use of faulty logic, incorrect comparisons, and overall poor writing. They were collected from actual high school papers and compiled into the list.

What can students learn from reading this list?

Students can learn to avoid making the same mistakes as the ones included in the list. By understanding what makes these analogies ineffective, they can improve their own writing skills and create more logical and effective comparisons.

Can these analogies be used as examples of what not to do in writing?

Yes, these analogies can serve as examples of what not to do in writing. They demonstrate the importance of using clear and logical comparisons, and avoiding cliches and illogical connections.

Are there any positive examples of analogies in high school papers?

Yes, there are many well-written and effective analogies in high school papers. However, this list specifically focuses on the worst examples, so it does not represent the overall quality of analogies used in high school writing.

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