Betrayal by trust: what did you learn

[Sophia]

Only one comment to your notes concerning opinions.
I think it is not good to totally hide your opinions and feelings from others. If you don't reveal anything, you may become too mysterious and people may not trust you or become close to you.
You need to try how each person reacts to different opinions. Some like to discuss things as adults, others start arguing and shouting.
With the first category, you may discuss almost all your opinions and form a deeper relationship.
This is the mistake I made. I shared some opinions with the wrong person. When we were 18 and voted for the first time I told her who I support and a few days later her mother called me for coffee and talked why my decision was wrong and who I should vote for. I was still too shy at that age so I was quiet but so angry inside! My mistake was that I suppressed such things because I didn't have any other friends in this town. And she was so kind and funny most of the time.
But on the other hand, I've got a friend I know she is a very good person because we lived together for 8 years at the dorm . But she never talks about herself (she read some religious books and I think she thinks talking about herself is selfish) even when I ask. This creates distance between us because I don't know almost anything about her. This is not good either. This is also a type of boundary that could harm a relationship.
You have to find the right balance with each person individually. Test on smaller less important things first.

 

[Psinter]

I think it is not good to totally hide your opinions and feelings from others. If you don't reveal anything, you may become too mysterious and people may not trust you or become close to you.

Or worse, make up things about you and because you are all mysterious other people will believe it straight out of the bat. Even if it's a blatant lie. I totally agree there.

I found this (it's an analogy, we all know humans are not objects):

 

[Derek Francis]

I've been burned a lot by mean people in grade school, and that's why I'm able to avoid toxic relationships as an adult.

One key thing I've learned is reciprocation. When I do favors for people, they are supposed to return the favor. If they don't, I won't do any more favors for them.

At the same time, it's also not a good thing to be passive and just wait for the other person to reach out to you. Sometimes people are shy and you have to reach out to them a few times and do a few nice things for them before they trust you. But after a certain point, if I'm putting in most of the work, then I just leave.

 

[Hornbein]

Betrayal by lust. Natural causes, man.

 

[wolram]

I was bitten once now i do not trust many people.

 

[Psinter]

I was bitten once now i do not trust many people.

Seems about correct to me.

I wasn't expecting this thread to be revived.

 

[Stephenk53]

I learned that it's best to trust very few people but I also learned you should never shut yourself off from others because that can sometimes hurt more than betrayal. Overall I learned its best to be careful who you trust but often you must trust someone even if you don't think it is a neccesity

Edit: I also learned its best to check the age of a thread before posting to it months after it's last response