Can I tell a girl it won't work without hurting her feelings?

[Moonbear]

One way in which you can do that is to meet her personally and be as serious as possible.

Try to explain to her that there are much better guys suitable for her and that you think that you are not one of them, or that you think that you might not be capable of taking care of her correctly, because you have other aspirations, for e.g., your studies. Try to explain to her that studies and love cannot "co-exist" for someone who is totally absorbed in his studies. That would be a perfect reason. At least, you will be reasonable and genuine in your explanation.

Well, that was just a suggestion because to me, I think someone is better off in his studies without having a lover! Try it guys!

Nice thought, but it won't work. That will just leave her trying to explain it's okay, she doesn't mind if he needs to spend time studying, she can help take care of him so he can focus on his studies more, etc. Anything other than the point-blank, "Sorry it was a mistake, there's someone else I'm seeing" explanation leaves things open to misunderstanding and just enough uncertainty for her to think there may still be something to salvage. Don't string her along. If it was only one date, as Andromeda pointed out, she'll get over it as long as you make it clear that nothing more is going to come of it.

Of course, there is the slightly softer approach where you don't have to admit to being more interested in someone else, which is pretty harsh to hear. Just keep it simple: "I'm sorry, but I've come to realize we just don't click (you can substitute a number of things for 'don't click': 'aren't right for each other,' 'aren't going to work out as a couple,' 'didn't have the right chemistry'). I don't want to hurt you by pretending there's something that isn't there and stringing you along." This is actually a bit better than telling her you never should have gone out with her in the first place, which she could take as a huge insult, or might leave her feeling used. There's no rule that you can't date more than one person at a time when trying to find one to build a relationship with. That's the point of dating, to find the right one, not to instantly settle down with the first one you come across, so it shouldn't be an issue if you appear to have quickly begun dating someone else.

 

[Evo]

Nice thought, but it won't work. That will just leave her trying to explain it's okay, she doesn't mind if he needs to spend time studying, she can help take care of him so he can focus on his studies more, etc. Anything other than the point-blank, "Sorry it was a mistake, there's someone else I'm seeing" explanation leaves things open to misunderstanding and just enough uncertainty for her to think there may still be something to salvage. Don't string her along. If it was only one date, as Andromeda pointed out, she'll get over it as long as you make it clear that nothing more is going to come of it.

Of course, there is the slightly softer approach where you don't have to admit to being more interested in someone else, which is pretty harsh to hear. Just keep it simple: "I'm sorry, but I've come to realize we just don't click (you can substitute a number of things for 'don't click': 'aren't right for each other,' 'aren't going to work out as a couple,' 'didn't have the right chemistry'). I don't want to hurt you by pretending there's something that isn't there and stringing you along." This is actually a bit better than telling her you never should have gone out with her in the first place, which she could take as a huge insult, or might leave her feeling used. There's no rule that you can't date more than one person at a time when trying to find one to build a relationship with. That's the point of dating, to find the right one, not to instantly settle down with the first one you come across, so it shouldn't be an issue if you appear to have quickly begun dating someone else.

I agree with Moonbear on everything.

 

[Andromeda321]

Ditto.
Really though, it always amazes me when my guy friends mention repeatedly that the most annoying thing about girls is when they're not honest about a relationship. Then they have an urge to do the same thing themselves despite complaining one second ago about that very thing...

 

[tumor]

I agree with Moonbear on everything.

Evo ? why don't you marry her ?

 

[franznietzsche]

Or you can become a woman and you'll be off the hook for any further explanation.

You are only encouraging our jadedness, and that's not nice.

 

[JasonRox]

Studies + Work + Ski + Girl = No Relaxing

Studies + Work + Ski - Girl I Want = What I Want

I want a girl that feel like I'm taking a load off my back.

Note: My studies aren't bad. Right now I just have Mathematics Integrated with Computers (testing number theory stuff), Calculus II, Astrophysics, Physics - Waves and Modern Physics

I decided not to add a fifth class.

A girl who only wants to go out once or twice a week. A girl who doesn't know where my wallet is.

Note: I didn't do it yet. I haven't talked to her all weekend either! She'd mad, so she will finish it for me. I called her on the weekend a few times, but no answer.

 

[DaveC426913]

Forget all these underhanded tricks.

Sincerity. That's the most important thing.



Once you can fake sincerity, you can fake anything.