- #1
Wiggins84bc
- 2
- 0
Hi,
I'm currently just over a year into a PhD in Europe. The PhD is 3.5 years in total. I'm not really happy with a lot of aspects of my PhD situation, I haven't really got to know my fellow grad students at all on account of a few different factors over the last year, and that has left me somewhat isolated socially, and feeling awkward at any events like conferences and things we might have to attend together, or even just the weekly seminar etc. I am quite shy and this hasn't helped matters, but nevertheless I'm sure I could do better given a fresh start socially. On another front I'm not particularly enjoying my research, I am a theorist, and all the other students in my group seem to be working on exciting projects that I don't understand fully, things like stringy type physics and really foundational stuff, which is really what I wanted to be doing. I however have ended up doing something that while I guess would be classed as gr-qc on arxiv and is theoretical, doesn't really require much advanced knowledge other than some very basic qft and gen rel and is mostly about big calculations.
I considered going to the US to do a PhD before taking this offer, but only applied to a few places (around 3) because I was also applying to lots in Europe. I only got into one gradschool in the US, and considered my european institute to have a better rep, so ultimately that's why I chose it rather than the project I'd be doing, which now seems quite silly.
I recently stumbled on a blog by a grad theorist at stony brook, documented the courses they were taking and the content of their PhD and it seemed quite a astounding to me the breadth of stuff I was missing out on (http://indexguy.wordpress.com/). I have to struggle to learn QFT from books like Srednicki, and GR from Carroll, with no courses offered on more advanced QFT or supersymmetry, strings etc. So other than self learning if I hopefully get time, I will not be exposed to these topics. It really makes me wish I had gone to do a PhD in the US now were I would of had 2 years of advanced courses first, then hopefully I'd be working on something more foundational at year 3, and plus I would prefer to be living in the US, than in my home country.
I feel however it may be too late to switch like this. I already had two years out before starting this PhD, plus this year and next that would be wasted by the time I hit year one of a US gradschool if I make this years apps means I have spent 4 years effectively doing nothing toward my career (but having said that there are no jobs in academia anyway, so what does it matter?). Also I would have to recontact my 3 undergrad refererees who I think would be quite shocked to hear I'm leaving this PhD and asking them to resubmit all over again for the US, so I'm quite scared of doing that.
So to summarise: I don't feel happy socially or with the content of the research and what I'm actually learning in my current PhD. I would like to live in the US for the experience of living there and I believe the US would give me a better education in theoretical topics than I'm obtaining in this PhD and possibly allow me to work on something I would find more fulfilling. But the negatives are 4 years of my life are 'wasted' in the sense that no academic qual has been achieved, I would find asking my refs again quite scary and not sure what they would say, and ultimately I think telling my supervisor I'm leaving wouldn't be easy. All I know is I am not particuraly happy with this situation and feel kind of trapped, like I am just trying to get through this PhD so I can move on to a better situation in a postdoc or something, and I think it shouldn't really be like that.
any advice greatly appreciated
I'm currently just over a year into a PhD in Europe. The PhD is 3.5 years in total. I'm not really happy with a lot of aspects of my PhD situation, I haven't really got to know my fellow grad students at all on account of a few different factors over the last year, and that has left me somewhat isolated socially, and feeling awkward at any events like conferences and things we might have to attend together, or even just the weekly seminar etc. I am quite shy and this hasn't helped matters, but nevertheless I'm sure I could do better given a fresh start socially. On another front I'm not particularly enjoying my research, I am a theorist, and all the other students in my group seem to be working on exciting projects that I don't understand fully, things like stringy type physics and really foundational stuff, which is really what I wanted to be doing. I however have ended up doing something that while I guess would be classed as gr-qc on arxiv and is theoretical, doesn't really require much advanced knowledge other than some very basic qft and gen rel and is mostly about big calculations.
I considered going to the US to do a PhD before taking this offer, but only applied to a few places (around 3) because I was also applying to lots in Europe. I only got into one gradschool in the US, and considered my european institute to have a better rep, so ultimately that's why I chose it rather than the project I'd be doing, which now seems quite silly.
I recently stumbled on a blog by a grad theorist at stony brook, documented the courses they were taking and the content of their PhD and it seemed quite a astounding to me the breadth of stuff I was missing out on (http://indexguy.wordpress.com/). I have to struggle to learn QFT from books like Srednicki, and GR from Carroll, with no courses offered on more advanced QFT or supersymmetry, strings etc. So other than self learning if I hopefully get time, I will not be exposed to these topics. It really makes me wish I had gone to do a PhD in the US now were I would of had 2 years of advanced courses first, then hopefully I'd be working on something more foundational at year 3, and plus I would prefer to be living in the US, than in my home country.
I feel however it may be too late to switch like this. I already had two years out before starting this PhD, plus this year and next that would be wasted by the time I hit year one of a US gradschool if I make this years apps means I have spent 4 years effectively doing nothing toward my career (but having said that there are no jobs in academia anyway, so what does it matter?). Also I would have to recontact my 3 undergrad refererees who I think would be quite shocked to hear I'm leaving this PhD and asking them to resubmit all over again for the US, so I'm quite scared of doing that.
So to summarise: I don't feel happy socially or with the content of the research and what I'm actually learning in my current PhD. I would like to live in the US for the experience of living there and I believe the US would give me a better education in theoretical topics than I'm obtaining in this PhD and possibly allow me to work on something I would find more fulfilling. But the negatives are 4 years of my life are 'wasted' in the sense that no academic qual has been achieved, I would find asking my refs again quite scary and not sure what they would say, and ultimately I think telling my supervisor I'm leaving wouldn't be easy. All I know is I am not particuraly happy with this situation and feel kind of trapped, like I am just trying to get through this PhD so I can move on to a better situation in a postdoc or something, and I think it shouldn't really be like that.
any advice greatly appreciated