Fun and Quirky Answering Machine Greetings to Keep Telemarketers at Bay

In summary, the conversation discusses creative and humorous answering machine greetings. One person shares a greeting that charges telemarketers for staying on the line, while another shares a message that insults the caller. Others suggest using a fake message before answering the phone to prank callers.
  • #1
LURCH
Science Advisor
2,558
118
I'm sure most of us have, at one time or another, thought of silly greetings to leave on our answering machine. I have recently come up with one that I wish to share. I would also like to know if anyone here is the legal expertise to tell me whether or not I can legally enforce the following message:

Hi, this is Brian. Thank you for calling Cash-Tone ServicesTM. Attention telemarketers: for all unsolicited sales calls, this service charges a $5,000 fee for the playing of the following Tone. By staying on the line until the sound of the Tone, 10 seconds from now, you are agreeing to accept this charge. All other callers, please leave a message at the sound of the Tone. Thank you and have a nice day .


Now, I actually look forward to checking my messages with great anticipation, hoping I received a sales call from a telemarketer!

I'm guessing some of the "quirky" minds in this community have come up with some fairly non-standard answering machine greetings. Let's hear them!
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2
Just came up with this one a few seconds ago.

Hello, you've reached Corey at (phone number). By staying on the line after the tone, you have agreed that you are an idiotic loco that isn't worth the oxygen. You're phone number will be recorded onto Caller ID under "Ignore". The tone will sound in 5 seconds. Have a nice day.
 
  • #3
I used to have the following message on my answering machine:

'With Monique! ... Hello? ... Hello!? ... I can't hear you! Are you there? HELLO?? ... Well, then just leave a message after the tone.' *beep*

Evil isn't it? you get some pretty interesting messages that way :wink:
 
  • #4
Record a regular message, I'm not here leave a messege etc. Instead of finishing though, play a loud beeping tone into the machine. Wait about 2 or 3 seconds and then, while still recording, act as though you just picked up the phone after the tone had rung, and apologize for being so late in a different tone of voice than you left the message. It plays out like this.

Me: "Hi, this is Jacob, I'm not home right now, leave a messege after the beep. BEEEEEP."
Caller: "Hey jacob, just wanted to(Bam, they're cut off by me)
Me: (still part of the recording, unbeknownced to the caller) Hey, sorry I got to the phone late, I was just using the bathroom. (Pause to allow response).
Caller: Begins response, is again interrupted by the recording.
Me: (interrupting) I was just kidding, I wasn't in the bathroom, this is still a recording, leave a messege now.
 
  • #5
Here's one to use when you are home to answer the phone:

" Hi, you've reached the phone of "*****". I'm not here right now, so just leave a mess... Oh, wait, I just walked in, hold on. "

You then pick up.
 

FAQ: Fun and Quirky Answering Machine Greetings to Keep Telemarketers at Bay

What is "Fun with Answering Machines"?

"Fun with Answering Machines" is a collection of humorous and creative messages that can be recorded on an answering machine or voicemail system. These messages are meant to entertain callers and make the experience of leaving a message more enjoyable.

How do I set up "Fun with Answering Machines" on my phone?

The process of setting up "Fun with Answering Machines" will vary depending on the type of phone you have. Typically, you will need to access your voicemail or answering machine settings and record a new greeting. Some phones may also have pre-recorded message options that you can choose from. Consult your phone's manual or contact your service provider for specific instructions.

Can I use "Fun with Answering Machines" for professional or business purposes?

While "Fun with Answering Machines" is meant to be lighthearted and entertaining, it may not be appropriate for professional or business purposes. It is best to stick with a standard, professional voicemail or answering machine greeting for those situations.

Are there any potential drawbacks to using "Fun with Answering Machines"?

Some potential drawbacks of using "Fun with Answering Machines" include offending or confusing callers who may not understand the jokes or references in the messages. It is also important to regularly change the messages to keep them fresh and avoid annoying repeat callers.

Can I create my own "Fun with Answering Machines" messages?

Absolutely! Creating your own messages can be a fun and creative activity. Just make sure to keep them appropriate and considerate of your callers. You can also find inspiration from online resources or by listening to other people's messages.

Similar threads

Chemistry 35yo combustion chemistry PhD, free time and still no plan
Replies
4
Views
2K

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top