Funny Quips: Don't Poke Beavers with Spoons!

[JamesU]

what are some funny ones you've seen?

watch out for the idiot behind me
watch out! I could be dating your daughter.
don't poke beavers with spoons (?)

 

[matthyaouw]

(stick on upside down) "if you can read this, please roll me over."

 

[BobG]

"If guns were outlawed, only outlaws would accidently shoot their wife and kids"

"Custer wore an Arrow shirt"

Best ever was way back in the seventies - It had "Jesus saves" in block letters, but added in a hand-written scrawl style was "but Esposito scores on the rebound"

 

[hypatia]

D.A.R.E. to think for yourself

 

[BobG]

D.A.R.E. to think for yourself

Uh, but then I wouldn't need advice from bumper stickers, would I?

watch out! I could be dating your daughter

Those are meant to be humorous? Hmm, maybe I should stop running them off the road, then.

 

[stoned]

"Support the Troops" and "God is with America" . both are strange and funny in some way.

 

[rachmaninoff]

"Bush - The President".

It makes me wonder, is the person driving that Hummer aware that his bumper sticker is tautologous?

 

[mattmns]

Jesus Loves You, but Everyone Else Thinks You're an A$$hole

 

[JamesU]

rorrim ruoy kcehc

(for the rear view mirror)

 

[Rabid]

I saw a HumVee with a yellow ribbon. I thought that was pretty funny.

 

[Kerrie]

"do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are good and crunchy with ketchup"
"doing my part to piss off the religious right"
"practice abstinence: no bush no dick 2004"
(yes, that last one is quite crude, but abundant where i live)

 

[Moonbear]

"If God is your co-pilot, exchange seats."

 

[brewnog]

"If you can read this, my caravan has fallen off"

 

[Diencephalon]

Honk if You Passed Organic Chemistry

 

[moose]

http://mirrorimageorigin.collegepublisher.com/media/paper410/stills/g8011nkc.jpg

A few days ago...

 

[rachmaninoff]

http://mirrorimageorigin.collegepublisher.com/media/paper410/stills/g8011nkc.jpg

A few days ago...

That's nothing, not long ago I saw a Dukakis '88 bumper sticker. Last year I saw an '82 Reagan (although he actually won, so it's less interesting).

 

[Evo]

My favorite is "I hear voices...and they don't like you". I stay away from those cars.

 

[quantumdude]

Here are some of my favorites, with ratings.

= Riotously funny, almost made me have a car accident.
= Got a good belly laugh, would have spit up my beverage if I had a mouthful at the time.
= Chuckled a few times, maybe repeated the line to a friend while drinking, when it seemed much funnier.
= Made me smile, but that's about it.
= Not funny, had me seriously thinking about running the owner off the road.

"Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot."
"Guns don't kill people, I do." (on a pickup truck)
"I brake for no apparent reason"
"My imaginary friend thinks you've got problems." (in erratic writing)
"No God, No Peace. Know God, Know Peace."
"I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but I just can't get my head that far up my ass."
"Don't blame me, I voted for the other guy." (I swear the next car I see with that one is going off-roading)
"We're spending our children's inheritance."
"Work Harder: Millions in Welfare Depend on You"
"The Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"CAT! The other white meat!"
"Keep honking, I'm reloading."
"My kid beat up your honor roll student."
"I'm not losing hair, I'm getting head."
"My other car is a Lamborghini."
"Dog is my copilot."
"If you're going to drink and drive, make sure you have a car."
"Mean people suck."
"Beat rush hour. Leave work at noon."
"Warning: In case of rapture, vehicle will suddenly become unmanned."
"Come the Rapture, can I have your car."
"CAUTION: I can go from 0 to bi+ch in 2.5 seconds!" (I actually knew that chick, and it is totally true)

Honorable Mention:
"Can't Feed 'Em? Don't Breed Em." (Not especially funny, but get's an "A-Men" from me)

 

[JamesU]

I don't see why you didn't like some of those, they're all good

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I want one that says:

Ban all bumper stickers
or
This is my bumper

 

[JamesU]

procrastinators, unite!...tomorrow...

 

[BobG]

"Guns don't kill people, I do." (on a pickup truck)

I like that one. The nice thing about that one is that at least we all won't sit at a four way stop wondering who should go first.

 

[Chi Meson]

"Visualize Swirled Peas"

"Dyslexics Untie"

"Know Nukes!"

"Nuthin' Dummer than a..." (to be placed over the spare wheel of a Hummer)

 

[Chi Meson]

Honorable Mention:
"Can't Feed 'Em? Don't Breed Em." (Not especially funny, but get's an "A-Men" from me)

Hmm, do you get the New Yorker, Tom? I just read that one in a Jonathan Franzen article! Like a minute ago!

 

[quantumdude]

Hmm, do you get the New Yorker, Tom? I just read that one in a Jonathan Franzen article! Like a minute ago!

I don't get that mag. I saw that sticker on a real vee-hickle.

 

[honestrosewater]

Geologists rock!

(Yeah, okay, I just made that up. Sorry, I wanted to contribute, but I don't drive. )

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot."

 

[Moonbear]

"Warning: In case of rapture, vehicle will suddenly become unmanned."
"Come the Rapture, can I have your car."

I like the ones that are responses to the lame ones.

 

[arildno]

"Come the Rupture; can I have your scar?"

 

[gravenewworld]

OMG i hope the secret service doesn't come after me for this but one day I saw a car that had a bumper sticker that had a picture of a syringe and bush's head and said

"The only dope worth shooting up is Bush."