Funny Ways to Decline Fliers: Share Yours!

[Math Jeans]

I have heard some really funny methods of how people decline fliers when they are offered.

I figured it would be fun to make a thread where you put your favorite methods of avoiding them.

My personal favorite is: "Sorry. I can't read."

 

[junglebeast]

Maybe we can combine this with telephone solicitors...

What kind of vacuum is it? Oh, please hold on a sec I'll be right back...<set the phone down, walk away>

 

[Moonbear]

What? You mean there's another way other than shoulder checking them off the curb and into oncoming traffic?

Actually, I just do what everyone else does and just keep walking around them as they hold the flyers out hoping someone will take one.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Wow... Am I the only polite person around here?

I say no thank you. :-/

 

[Gokul43201]

That's what I typically do too. Except for one time that comes to mind...

I was handed a flier recently, in NYC. I took a quick glance at it and blurted out, "Are you kidding me?" to the lady passing them around. It was a completely instinctive response, and she was little taken aback by it. The flier was some kind invite to the Church of Scientology.

 

[rootX]

I take it and throw it away.

 

[Moonbear]

That's what I typically do too. Except for one time that comes to mind...

I was handed a flier recently, in NYC. I took a quick glance at it and blurted out, "Are you kidding me?" to the lady passing them around. It was a completely instinctive response, and she was little taken aback by it. The flier was some kind of an invite to the Church of Scientology.

That's the only place I see people trying to hand out fliers all the time, which is why I walk right past them. I don't think they expect everyone to stop and take one, and there's no communication from them, they just stand there holding fliers out if anyone is willing to take them. Though, there was some obnoxious person dressed up in a chicken suit handing out fliers and getting in the way of everyone on a crowded sidewalk on a day when I was dragging around a heavy suitcase either heading to or from the train station (I can't recall which), and that one I did seriously consider the shoulder check into oncoming traffic option for...I might have wheeled the luggage over their chicken foot inadvertently.

I guess if someone walked up to me while I was just standing around somewhere and initiated a conversation before offering the flier, I probably would just say "no thanks," but I haven't really been in a situation where that happened...or at least not that I can remember.

Most of the time, I just find fliers wedged in the door when I return home from work.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I suppose around here people don't often hand out fliers. Mostly just religious people and they usually try to be nice and strike up a conversation with you to suck you in.

Businesses usually just have people drop fliers on cars and post them on people's doors.

 

[Math Jeans]

Well, even if you make a sarcastic response, the reaction from the person handing out the fliers is usually the same.

My friend told me about this time when a guy was handing out a flier for a speed reading seminar. He politely declined and the guy goes "Fine! Read slow!"

 

[Ms Music]

I usually say "no thank you" if offered, or make sure the flier finds the nearest garbage can if they just hand it to me.

My other pet peeve is the cell phone sales guys at the mall. They either ask you for the time, or they ask an intelligible question so that you stop and say huh? Then they launch into their sale before you realize what happened and can walk off. A couple of weeks ago one asked me if my daughter and I were twins... What an insult to my poor 14 year old! Thankfully I have all ready learned not to look them in the eye.

 

[lisab]

I usually say "no thank you" if offered, or make sure the flier finds the nearest garbage can if they just hand it to me.

My other pet peeve is the cell phone sales guys at the mall. They either ask you for the time, or they ask an intelligible question so that you stop and say huh? Then they launch into their sale before you realize what happened and can walk off. A couple of weeks ago one asked me if my daughter and I were twins... What an insult to my poor 14 year old! Thankfully I have all ready learned not to look them in the eye.

Oh I totally agree...those sales people hawking cell phones from mall kiosks are often so sleazy!

"What's it going to take to get this phone into your pocket today?"

Ugh.

 

[russ_watters]

"Sorry, I've had my fill of strip clubs for today."

 

[Moonbear]

My other pet peeve is the cell phone sales guys at the mall. They either ask you for the time, or they ask an intelligible question so that you stop and say huh? Then they launch into their sale before you realize what happened and can walk off. A couple of weeks ago one asked me if my daughter and I were twins... What an insult to my poor 14 year old! Thankfully I have all ready learned not to look them in the eye.

Wow, that's a tactic I haven't encountered before. The only time they've tried to solicit my business as I walked past, they just asked if I had a cell phone and then which provider. I had just gotten a new phone, so it was easy to respond by telling them I just got a new phone and wasn't interested in buying a new one or switching providers at that time.

We don't have any of these in the local mall, but I have been in some mall where there's one of those carts/kiosks that sells "beauty products" of some sort and they always try to assault people who pass with hand cream, and can be kind of insulting in the way they try to tell you that you need hand lotion or cuticle treatment or something like that. With some, they just kind of walk up and start an aggressive sales pitch, and to them, I just say no thanks, but I actually had one grab my hand to tell me how dry my skin was and how bad my cuticles looked...I pulled my hand back and told them if they tried it again, I'd call the cops.

 

[GeorginaS]

My friend told me about this time when a guy was handing out a flier for a speed reading seminar. He politely declined and the guy goes "Fine! Read slow!"

Okay, that made me laugh out loud.

The only time I've been accosted by people handing out fliers is in Las Vegas. (Doesn't seem to be a "done thing" here in Canada. Or not in my part of it, anyway.) My response was, "No, thank you. I'm pretty sure I don't want to go see Busty McChesty live and in person."

 

[WhoWee]

I usually say "no thank you" if offered, or make sure the flier finds the nearest garbage can if they just hand it to me.

My other pet peeve is the cell phone sales guys at the mall. They either ask you for the time, or they ask an intelligible question so that you stop and say huh? Then they launch into their sale before you realize what happened and can walk off. A couple of weeks ago one asked me if my daughter and I were twins... What an insult to my poor 14 year old! Thankfully I have all ready learned not to look them in the eye.

I think my daughters are afraid to walk through the mall with me. My wife says I turn purple and my veins pop out everytime those guys flirt with my girls. I don't think I over react...THAT much.

I just ignore the people handing things out...they quickly realize it's a waste of their time and we're both on to the next excitement of our respective day.

 

[Cyrus]

Some girl asked me if I had time to save the enivornment. I said no and kept on walking to get my lunch. I hate people trying to hassle me on the sidewalk for flyers and handouts and junk. When my friend and I were walking and they asked him to donate blood for the red cross he said "No, I don't feel like it" and we kept walking. The poor girl was stunned he said no so bluntly to her. That guys a character. It's hard to imagine he has a wife and kids.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

The poor girl was stunned he said no so bluntly to her.

Lately at a grocery store I go to they have been asking, when ever you pay at the check out, whether or not you want to donate money to some charity or other. Its definitely a bit embarassing to have to look some cute young girl in the face and say that you do not want to donate money to breast cancer research.

 

[Cyrus]

Lately at a grocery store I go to they have been asking, when ever you pay at the check out, whether or not you want to donate money to some charity or other. Its definitely a bit embarassing to have to look some cute young girl in the face and say that you do not want to donate money to breast cancer research.

I just look them dead in the eye and say, no. I'm strongly against donating money for anything. Donate time if you want to make change. Dont be a sucker and give away your money so someone can use it to pay for their new BMW. 99.9% of the girls working at the grocery stores around here are either fat, ugly or both.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

99.9% of the girls working at the grocery stores around here are either fat, ugly or both.

Too bad for you. We've got some hotties around here. Oh wait... I almost forgot about your preferences in women. Yeah you would probably consider them all fat and/or ugly.

 

[Cyrus]

Too bad for you. We've got some hotties around here. Oh wait... I almost forgot about your preferences in women. Yeah you would probably consider them all fat and/or ugly.

I've been to cali. You do have some nice women there. Much prettier than the girls around here.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I've been to cali. You do have some nice women there. Much prettier than the girls around here.

Hmmm, I didn't think you liked girls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2CyQ7Eslg4

 

[Cyrus]

Hmmm, I didn't think you liked girls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2CyQ7Eslg4

Why do you say that?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Why do you say that?

I thought it had something to do with your religion.


It was a joke.

 

[Moonbear]

Lately at a grocery store I go to they have been asking, when ever you pay at the check out, whether or not you want to donate money to some charity or other. Its definitely a bit embarassing to have to look some cute young girl in the face and say that you do not want to donate money to breast cancer research.

I have no problem telling people at the checkout "no" when they ask if I want to donate. If I want to donate to any of those charities, I'll do so directly, not via the grocery store.

 

[WhoWee]

99.9% of the girls working at the grocery stores around here are either fat, ugly or both.

Does their lack of English make them more or less attractive?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I have no problem telling people at the checkout "no" when they ask if I want to donate. If I want to donate to any of those charities, I'll do so directly, not via the grocery store.

At Safeway they tend to ask if I "want to support breast cancer". I respond by saying no, I'm against breast cancer.

 

[Moonbear]

At Safeway they tend to ask if I "want to support breast cancer". I respond by saying no, I'm against breast cancer.

That's a good one!

 

[turbo]

I have learned the hard way to donate anonymously, if possible. Right after Katrina hit and the losses were being evaluated, I dashed of a pretty generous check to the Salvation Army, and immediately started getting dunned every couple of weeks. I should have paid for a cashier's check and mailed that with no return address. Last year, my wife made a donation to the American Lung Association, and it appears that the people doing the fund-raising sold her name to other groups, because about every week she gets another envelope in the mail containing address stickers, little note-pads, etc, along with pleas for money. At least the Salvation Army did not sell my name to other groups - their regular requests for more money were quite enough.

 

[Moonbear]

I have learned the hard way to donate anonymously, if possible. Right after Katrina hit and the losses were being evaluated, I dashed of a pretty generous check to the Salvation Army, and immediately started getting dunned every couple of weeks. I should have paid for a cashier's check and mailed that with no return address. Last year, my wife made a donation to the American Lung Association, and it appears that the people doing the fund-raising sold her name to other groups, because about every week she gets another envelope in the mail containing address stickers, little note-pads, etc, along with pleas for money. At least the Salvation Army did not sell my name to other groups - their regular requests for more money were quite enough.

Those are all good ways for charities to get me to stop donating to them. I don't mind getting a follow-up request once or twice a year for continued donations, since that's pretty reasonable to ask previous donors for further annual or semi-annual donations. But, when I get requests every other week or monthly, or suddenly I get a barrage of mailings from other organizations, I decide they are spending too much of my money on wasting paper making excessive requests for more donations rather than using it for what I intended the donation to be used for. So, I stop donating when that happens.

 

[Huckleberry]

Oh no! The cute girl is soliciting me to support a humanitarian cause by donating money! How can I refuse? What would Nancy Reagan say?

 

[Cyrus]

Does their lack of English make them more or less attractive?

? They speak english just fine, considering there american.

 

[Cyrus]

Oh no! The cute girl is soliciting me to support a humanitarian cause by donating money! How can I refuse? What would Nancy Reagan say?

Take your pants off.

 

[BobG]

I have learned the hard way to donate anonymously, if possible.

A fun way to annoy someone you don't like (an ex, for example) is to donate money in that person's name to a cause they absolutely abhor (along with that person's contact info). Nothing annoys an atheist more than to be eternally thanked and pestered for follow-on donations to Focus on the Family. Or a member of the New Life church than being thanked and pestered for eternity by The Unholy Apostolic Circle of Satan.

 

[jtbell]

I have heard some really funny methods of how people decline fliers when they are offered.

I figured it would be fun to make a thread where you put your favorite methods of avoiding them.

Sometimes I pretend to be a foreign tourist: shrug, shake my head sadly and babble something in Finnish. "Valitettavasti en ymmärrä englantia!"

 

[Ivan Seeking]

When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door I always try to be polite. The standard response is to say "thanks for coming by, but we already have our own beliefs". On one occasion, after closing the door, I realized that I was wearing a rather pornographic t-shirt that I would never wear in public. I had just received it as a joke gift...I think for my birthday.

I am pretty sure that we didn't see them for a long time after that. At the least, we didn't see them nearly as often.