Getting into a relationship without formal dating

[BobG]

You can't be friends and lover with a woman. You are either a boyfriend who leads the woman, or a commuter on a friendship bus.

I guess that's why formal dating can be insufficient, most people tend to judge on their first meeting, in terms of comparison for naturally blooming romances. ^_^

I think the more accurate statement is that you can't be friends for too long and expect to become lovers. There's nothing wrong with being friends long enough to get to know each other so you're not asking a stranger out on a date.

Because Britters is right. You go on a date with a stranger and both are automatically scoring the date or each date to decide whether or not to waste much time on this enterprise. Even if I am dating someone I don't know, I go into it planning on at least two or three dates - first date I'm just hoping neither of us accidentally dumps the drinks on the other one (or worse yet, intentionally dumps the drinks on the other).

My current project: Helped her on landscaping project once, had lunch together since I was working out at the site she works at, broke the ice with a joke about a football game between physicists and engineers at MIT, segued neatly into a discussion about low orbiting satellites, and plan to give more help on the landscaping project this weekend. After that, I start considering whether or not to go on a real date, just leave it at friends, abandon the whole idea of seeing her any more than I absolutely have to, or do some http://www.theonion.com/video/nasa-scientists-plan-to-approach-girl-by-2018,14400/.

There's just one catch that makes this whole project very, very complicated.

 

[Britters]

I haven't had luck at all with the male species.

 

[Evo]

I haven't had luck at all with the male species.

You're only 20. You're not even old enough to be thinking of anyone seriously. Sit back and enjoy being young while you're young.

 

[BobG]

I haven't had luck at all with the male species.

A biology class might improve your luck. Males aren't a species. They're a subset of a species. A subset of most species, actually.

I'm a male of a species capable of counting to 1,048,575 on its fingers and toes.

That doesn't seem to be much of an advantage on a date, though.

And, believe it or not, my relationship advice is better than Cyrus's.

 

[Redbelly98]

When in their late 20's, two friends of mine had both given up on trying to find partners, and started hanging out with each other as friends. That was about 20 years ago, now they are married with 2 kids.

 

[Evo]

When in their late 20's, two friends of mine had both given up on trying to find partners, and started hanging out with each other as friends. That was about 20 years ago, now they are married with 2 kids.

Yep, that's what happens when you give up and settle for what's at hand.

 

[Lancelot59]

Yep, that's what happens when you give up and settle for what's at hand.

There's a dirty joke in there somewhere.

 

[Astronuc]

I was thinking about this thread last night.

My son arranged for a lady friend to join us to cook out and watch fireworks. Previously, I'd asked him if this was a date, to which he replied "It's not a date!" They have a friendship.

So going on a not-a-date.

 

[DaveC426913]

My son arranged for a lady friend to join us to cook out and watch fireworks. Previously, I'd asked him if this was a date, to which he replied "It's not a date!"

Oh really.

Make a play for her. See how he reacts. That'll settle it pretty quick.

 

[lisab]

Oh really.

Make a play for her. See how he reacts. That'll settle it pretty quick.

Dave, you're such a rabble-rouser.