- #1
wukunlin
Gold Member
- 480
- 117
This is going to be a huge wall of text. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Probably just need to get this off my head. I don't see how any advice or comments can help me...I have lost count of how many times I have made this decision.
I have been on the move from country to country ever since the end of high school. Whether planning to go to a better environment for my education (that never happened though, turned out Auckland was just right for me for my undergrad and MSc), or looking for jobs, which I traveling 5 countries to do so.
For this reason (and others) I have never made serious attempts to establish serious relationships, because if I would have to move again, I felt it would be irresponsible of me. I always chose my career over any potential relationships, and it never really bothered me.
Now, I ended up with a job in China. I don't really like it, there isn't much to learn, and I hate this humid, polluted environment. I quickly applied to a PhD position in UK. While I waited and ground through my job. I got to know a girl I really really like, to the extent I am throwing all rationality out of the window. The last time I was attracted to a girl like this was almost 10 years ago.
I thought I was immature back then but I don't have this excuse this time (or maybe I do). I should know my application result in a month. I am quite confident that I will get an offer. If that is the case, I will be thrilled to be able to get out of this place, but I will be tempted to stay just for her.
The funny thing is (not so funny for me but okay...) there just isn't any known quantity here. I'm not 100% sure I will get an offer. I don't know where I will look for the next job. I don't know how this girl feel about me, as she hasn't hinted either way. (Neither of us are very talkative. I have been approaching her and try to let us know more about each other. I also spilled my guts one night under the influence of alcohol...).
And then there are the practical issues. If we start a proper relationship, and if (the if's are racking up really fast) she is willing to go further away from her family with me, and if my savings and funding can support two people, I know how terribly tough it will be for her to move there not knowing English. I shouldn't even worry about this hypothetical problem but like I said, my rationality is non-existent at this stage.
I always thought I should think about my career at this age and relationships would happen when they do. Now my 25th birthday is creeping up on me, and I am yet to experience a relationship. I'm getting a little worried. Especially when working in a rather foreign location by myself, the solitude is taking its toll on me.
Well, thanks for reading this wall of text. I don't know what to do or think. All comments welcome I guess.
I have been on the move from country to country ever since the end of high school. Whether planning to go to a better environment for my education (that never happened though, turned out Auckland was just right for me for my undergrad and MSc), or looking for jobs, which I traveling 5 countries to do so.
For this reason (and others) I have never made serious attempts to establish serious relationships, because if I would have to move again, I felt it would be irresponsible of me. I always chose my career over any potential relationships, and it never really bothered me.
Now, I ended up with a job in China. I don't really like it, there isn't much to learn, and I hate this humid, polluted environment. I quickly applied to a PhD position in UK. While I waited and ground through my job. I got to know a girl I really really like, to the extent I am throwing all rationality out of the window. The last time I was attracted to a girl like this was almost 10 years ago.
I thought I was immature back then but I don't have this excuse this time (or maybe I do). I should know my application result in a month. I am quite confident that I will get an offer. If that is the case, I will be thrilled to be able to get out of this place, but I will be tempted to stay just for her.
The funny thing is (not so funny for me but okay...) there just isn't any known quantity here. I'm not 100% sure I will get an offer. I don't know where I will look for the next job. I don't know how this girl feel about me, as she hasn't hinted either way. (Neither of us are very talkative. I have been approaching her and try to let us know more about each other. I also spilled my guts one night under the influence of alcohol...).
And then there are the practical issues. If we start a proper relationship, and if (the if's are racking up really fast) she is willing to go further away from her family with me, and if my savings and funding can support two people, I know how terribly tough it will be for her to move there not knowing English. I shouldn't even worry about this hypothetical problem but like I said, my rationality is non-existent at this stage.
I always thought I should think about my career at this age and relationships would happen when they do. Now my 25th birthday is creeping up on me, and I am yet to experience a relationship. I'm getting a little worried. Especially when working in a rather foreign location by myself, the solitude is taking its toll on me.
Well, thanks for reading this wall of text. I don't know what to do or think. All comments welcome I guess.