How can I make the perfect smoothie?

[Pengwuino]

Does anyone have any good suggestions for a smoothie maker?

Also, tell me a good banana smoothie recipe

Also, tell me how to make a smoothie.

DISCUSS

I just tried to make a smoothie with some smoothie maker my mom has, banana-strawberry with a touch of apple juice. So, first attempt, I put some kinda crushed ice (it was ice in one of those party bags that was weeks old so the ice was one huge blob that you had to beat down with a hammer) into the smoothie thing, a bunch of frozen yogurt, then the strawberries and apple juice. So at first, nothing really happened, the yogurt kinda just sat there getting its bottom beat up, so I had to push down everything so the ice and fruit would get chopped up too.

Oh by the way did I mention I was making banana-strawberry smothies? Yah, I forgot the banana.

So the second time I tried it, I put the ice in first! and remembered the bananas! Oh but I forgot the apple juice, whatever. Turned the thing on and the motor did that thing where it cries in pain and sparks fly because the blades were jammed on the ice :( WAH. So i took the huge chunk of ice that was screwing everything up adn proceeded. Well, of course, the yogurt wouldn't freaken fall down to the blades so for like 5 minutes I was pushing things downward towards teh blades using the little thing at the top that allows you to push things in.

So I finally got some of this crap out and it's not too bad but OH MY GOD IT WAS SO LOUD. I was scared, the police came, a national emergency was declared, etc etc. I had to apologize to the President for this terrorist attack I perpetrated on my kitchen.

How are you suppose to make these stupid things? SMOOTHIE RHYMES WITH STOOPID! Should I put in the yogurt first, blend it some, then put the ice in, blend, then start throwing in the fruits and juices?

DISCUSS.

And so help me god turbo if you come in here saying you make the best smoothies, YOU'RE DONE FOR.

DISCUSS

 

[turbo]

And so help me god turbo if you come in here saying you make the best smoothies, YOU'RE DONE FOR.

I won't tell you that, but I will tell you that my wife makes the best smoothies ever. She uses Greek yogurt, berries, fruits, maybe fruit juices in our blender, and then adds in ice to dilute and cool the smoothies. We have a professional-grade Oster blender that never complains. Generally, she doesn't have to add too much ice, because she uses frozen berries and fruits from our freezers. She still has gallons of frozen blackberries from a couple of years back when the wild berries came in like gang-busters. Frozen peaches and apples round things out nicely.

500 watt motor, only two speeds, and built like a tank.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00005QFKG/?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[Evo]

Best smoothie on earth, go down the block to Smoothie King, purchase Raspberry Sunrise.

Go home and drink it.

 

[Pengwuino]

Best smoothie on earth, go down the block to Smoothie King, purchase Raspberry Sunrise.

Go home and drink it.

Sorry Evo, I don't live in LALA LAND where we have stores that sell smoothies.

BYE EVO!

 

[Pengwuino]

I won't tell you that, but I will tell you that my wife makes the best smoothies ever. She uses Greek yogurt, berries, fruits, maybe fruit juices in our blender, and then adds in ice to dilute and cool the smoothies. We have a professional-grade Oster blender that never complains. Generally, she doesn't have to add too much ice, because she uses frozen berries and fruits from our freezers. She still has gallons of frozen blackberries from a couple of years back when the wild berries came in like gang-busters. Frozen peaches and apples round things out nicely.

Pff, I live in America, I don't eat greek yogurt or berries or other euro-communist trash foods.

So what order are you suppose to put everything in? I feel like I'm failing all over the place making them.

 

[khemist]

smoothies are easy.

frozen strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. Room temp half of a peach/ nectarine and a whole banana. put as much orange juice into make the smoothie smooth, maybe a couple cups? I am not really quite sure.. you need enough so that it is not too thick. add ice to taste.

i like to throw in some powdered sugar or vanilla to sweeten it up sometimes, but its pretty sweet on its own.

you don't need a special "smoothie maker," its called a blender.

 

[Pengwuino]

smoothies are easy.

frozen strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. Room temp half of a peach/ nectarine and a whole banana. put as much orange juice into make the smoothie smooth, maybe a couple cups? I am not really quite sure.. you need enough so that it is not too thick. add ice to taste.

i like to throw in some powdered sugar or vanilla to sweeten it up sometimes, but its pretty sweet on its own.

you don't need a special "smoothie maker," its called a blender.

This is a SCIENCE forum. Include accurate recipe measurements with error bars or prepare to be banned.

 

[khemist]

Put the banana in the blender first. Pile everything you want into the blender before you turn it on. Turn it on.

If it doesn't work, you just need a better blender.

 

[Pythagorean]

The magic bullet is the best I've found.

Also the name is hilarious when you think of Kennedy's brain as a smoothie flavor.

 

[Topher925]

Best banana smoothie recipe ever:

1 stick of butter
2 cups of lard
4 pounds of bacon
1 cup of mayonnaise
1 pint of sugar
2 spoons of margarine
2 more pounds of bacon
1 light dash of nutmeg
1 thin slice of banana

blend till creamy gelatinous goo, serve cold.

 

[turbo]

Pff, I live in America, I don't eat greek yogurt or berries or other euro-communist trash foods.

So what order are you suppose to put everything in? I feel like I'm failing all over the place making them.

First you put in the Athenos Greek yogurt (you newbie). Then you add the hunks of banana, the frozen (wild, you newbie) berries, chunks of frozen fruits, etc, and some fruit juice if you want. Zap all that with your manly 500-watt Oster blender, and then add a few ice cubes if you want to cool and dilute the smoothie even more, zap those and pour.

To make thick smoothies, you need a powerful blender that can whip stuff up quickly. Wimpy blenders (sounds like you have one) can't cut it.

 

[Pengwuino]

First you put in the Athenos Greek yogurt (you newbie). Then you add the hunks of banana, the frozen (wild, you newbie) berries, chunks of frozen fruits, etc, and some fruit juice if you want. Zap all that with your manly 500-watt Oster blender, and then add a few ice cubes if you want to cool and dilute the smoothie even more, zap those and pour.

To make thick smoothies, you need a powerful blender that can whip stuff up quickly. Wimpy blenders (sounds like you have one) can't cut it.

Topher's suggestion sounds 10x better. Sorry.

 

[turbo]

Your arteries will love it!

 

[Evo]

Use regular cow's milk yogurt, it's healthier and cheaper than Greek yogurt, which is high in fat. Unless of course it's fake lowfat greek yogurt, which of course just means you're paying more for fake yogurt.

http://www.cookthink.com/reference/257/What_is_Greek_yogurt

 

[flyingpig]

Durian + milk + ice + ? + mocha syrup = done

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I loved the Magic Bullet, but two have broken on me.

 

[turbo]

I loved the Magic Bullet, but two have broken on me.

Greg, look into the Oster 500-watt beehive blender. All metal base, and simple (2 speeds). It's what the tavern I used to play at used for slushed ice drinks like frozen margaritas. Very tough machine.

Edit: Oops! Misspoke. It has two settings - On and Pulse. Still, when these machines can stand up to making frozen margaritas and other iced drinks for years, you know they can make smoothies for you. Plus, you can get accessories, spare cutters, gaskets, and other parts at hardware stores all over the country.

 

[Proton Soup]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WIZ99E/?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[khemist]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WIZ99E/?tag=pfamazon01-20

Thats really cool. Until you push down and to the left a little too hard...

Seems like the reviews are pretty good though.

 

[Evo]

Thats really cool. Until you push down and to the left a little too hard...

Seems like the reviews are pretty good though.

You will only do that once with hot soup.

 

[MATLABdude]

How about a glow-in-the-dark smoothie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l69Vi5IDc0g

Not quite a smoothie, but damn cool (BIC lighters):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx4QgK_xEfE

BlendTec (for more mundane smoothies) is probably at the high end of the price scale, however.

 

[rhody]

Peng,

You made a big splash with your first lecture, now kick back and go make yourself a smoothie !

Rhody...

 

[turbo]

Listen, you slackers! Buy an Oster Beehive and be happy. You'll be able to buy parts and accessories for life and these blenders are bullet-proof! Why is this thread still going? Get a real blender and quit dithering!

https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=oster+blender+beehive&tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[Pythagorean]

Naw, try a Vita-Mix 40009. Only around $1000 dollars for a blender. wtf?