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Sorry for the amateurish setup that follows. Here's my thought experiment. Consider a 2-dimensional universe on the Cartesian plane. Earth is located at point (0,0). There is a binary system {A,B} oscillating around (1,1). To simplify, assume that the oscillation is 1-dimensional and occurs on the line segment between point p = (1 - ε/√2, 1 - ε/√2) and point p* = (1 + ε/√2, 1 + ε/√2). When A is at p, B is at p*. A approaches (1,1) from below and B approaches (1,1) from above. They cross at (1,1) and travel onward, A toward p* and B toward p. Because of Newton's inverse-square law, their tug is larger when the two bodies are separated at p and p* than when they both are at (1,1). From "earth," the distance to (1,1) is √2. Earth's distance to p is √2 - ε and its distance to p* is √2 + ε. For α ∈ [0,ε], the total tug on Earth is proportional to t(α) = 1/(√2 - α)^2 + 1/(√2 + α)^2. When A and B are at (1,1), α = 0 and t(0) = 1. When A and B are at p and p*, α = ε and t(ε) = 1/(√2 - ε)^2 + 1/(√2 + ε)^2, which exceeds 1 for all ε > 0. So under Newtonian physics the tug is not constant. Its strength rises and falls following a quadratic function. How do we know that what LIGO is measuring is not the ebb-and-flow of the Newtonian tug? Thanks.