- #36
Ryan_m_b
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
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Drakkith said:While YOU may enjoy being corrected, in my experience MOST people do not. My buddy does this all the time. We will talk about something, I'll correct him or explain something like it really is, and then he will make some sort of joke about it and the discussion comes to an abrupt end and everything goes to nonsense. I'm guessing its some sort of "defense mechanism" to avoid embarassment or something. I know many people that do this.
I see no problem with taking it as a victory when you convince someone of something, especially when you have to work hard to get it through their ignorance and unwillingness to accept something contradictory to their own views/ideas.
Now I don't take it as a personal challenge to convert people or anything else, but if I'm in a heated discussion for an hour over something and I can eventually bring the person to my side I consider that a hard won victory and take a bit of pride in it. And if I don't convince them, well no big deal, you can't win them all.
I find it is less about "convincing" someone and more about re-educating them. I take pride in being able to do that and get satisfaction but the attitude of "I won!" just perpetuates the feelings of embarrassment you mentioned.
In my experience taking a passive and calm attitude whilst constantly showing respect for somebody's intellect (even if they are totally wrong) will speed up the process of debate. It's very easy for humans to adopt their Us vs Them response and see it as a competition between people rather than a discussion about evidence. To that end I always try to end discussions by fostering a feeling that it was a joint victory even if the whole debate was me explaining to the other person why they are wrong.