I got kicked out of my University. Do I still have a chance at Grad school?

[annoyinggirl]

One thing about excuses that make them useless is that if you really have no options, then
there's no point in discussing the issue. If someone is *forcing* you to study neuroscience, then you just have to do it knowing full well that it's going to blow up.

You just need one.
1) You may have to have an uncomfortable conversation with your parents. Also I've found that in a lot of situations, people assume their parents want them to do X, when it turns out that the only reason their parents seem to want them to do X is because they assume that they want to do X. Or maybe not.

2) At some point down the road, you *will* get into depression mode again. Your neurochemistry is not going to spontaneously change, so if you've had bouts of depression before, you should assume that it will happen again. It's like planning for hurricanes in Florida or earthquakes in California.

3) Try *not* to make any decisions. Being emotional is the worst time to make major life decisions. Rather than thinking about the long term future, figure out what you can do to make your life better next month.
I don't think it really matters.
Do whatever you need to do. If thinking about suicide makes you feel better and less likely to commit suicide, then do that.

But it's also pretty important that you find someone that you can talk to about what you are thinking. The trouble with these sorts of thoughts is that most people react to "I'm thinking about killing myself" by "don't do that". Therapists tend to react to "I'm thinking about killing myself" by "please talk about those thoughts."

However, you should have a safety net, and don't be afraid to check yourself into the hospital if you are actually in a dangerous situation. Better yet, you need to have some close friends that will drag you into the nearest hospital if they think you are in a dangerous situation.

One reason that I'm worried about you is that "unrealistic goals" + "depression" is a very dangerous combination. If you go back to school and everything falls apart and you can laugh about it, then I wouldn't be so worried.

Something that some people find useful is to think of school as a form of therapy. It's not uncommon to find people interested in neuroscience in order to deal with there own conditions, and there are a lot of psychiarists and therapists that go into the field to deal with their own issues.

To laugh about it? Is that really possible? As someone who is interested in psychology and Neuroscience, I have read about the benefits of humor and laughter. But to laugh about something as serious as flunking school? Wouldn't I have to not take my education seriously in order to laugh about failure in school? Wouldn't my education and potential career be of little importance to me in order for me to laugh about it?

Thanks for your advice and help. I will keep them in mind. :)

 

[annoyinggirl]

I can't tell you what kind of mindset you should have - that is completely a question that should be answered within yourself. If you want to change, I can give you an idea what steps you should take. The most important thing is that you need to want to change for your sake. Your motives should be yours solely. If you are ready:

You must first accept and identify the mistakes you have made. Ask yourself these questions:
Why did I fail my classes? What could I have done to prevent the situation I have arrived at? If I knew I wasn't doing well, why did I let myself fail my classes? And any others you feel are necessary to help understand your predicament in full. Answering these questions honestly will provide some insight into yourself. When you know yourself better, you will have more control over your life.

I won't go into details about the next steps, but I will outline them so you have an idea where you are going:

Next, accept that you have made mistakes and COMMIT to not making them again.
Take this commitment seriously; as if you were getting married to the man of your dreams.

Once you have accepted your situation and chosen to change it, it is now time to ask yourself what steps can you make to change.

Now that you have some idea of the things you need to do...DO THEM! Take action, get results.

Finally, when you a ready, when you have acquired the tools necessary to take on whatever challenges may come your way, pursue your dreams/goals/ambitions.


This process is nonlinear and will not take less than 2 years to fully complete. Don't worry, some issues you will be able to resolve very quickly while others will take some time, maybe years. It's worth the self investment to learn about yourself. If you truly wish to change your habits it will require you to push yourself mentally. You may not be able to do everything on your own; this is ok, just make sure whoever is helping you knows what they are doing. Be patient, this will take time. Don't pressure yourself to hurry through the above process either. This will result in unnecessary and irrational anxiety.

One last remark:
If you need help you can ask me. My life has been eventful and I'd like to share the knowledge/tools/experience I've acquired over the years with those who need advice.

Thank you. It means a lot, really. :)

 

[twofish-quant]

But to laugh about something as serious as flunking school? Wouldn't I have to not take my education seriously in order to laugh about failure in school?

People deal with some pretty serious topics by laughing about it, and trying to find the humor (and sometimes it turns out to be sick dark humor) is sometimes the only way you can mentally survive.

One other thing. You might come from a family in which like mine education is the most important thing in the world. It helps sometimes to look at people for which this is *not* true. They probably are not on this list. I know of people that make minimum wage, have no education, but they are happier than I ever will be.