Is It Safe to Invite Someone You've Only Met Online Over for a Sleepover?

[etc]

so I'm 17 and I've got maybe 2 or 30 problems.
not this week, but the next, I'm planning to have this girl, i'll call her heather, because that's her name, to possibly sleep over at my house for a couple days. but listen, here's the thing. I've never actually "met" this particular girl. though, I've known her through the internet or phone for ~2.5 years, so I'm sure 'bout her. it's kinda odd, how she's an internet thing and all, but I've got romantic feelings for her. anyway, right. so i haven't asked my mum yet and i just hope that goes swimmingly. anyone got tips for springing the big news, or possibly really clever lies to get'er to agree? if you're parents what would you say if your son/daughter asked you?

part 2: i don't have a car 'cause I'm lazy. so if any of my fellow nerds have any tips for wooing w/o a car that's also be a super thing.

thanks men and ladies.

 

[franznietzsche]

Why would your parents agree to this, under any circumstances? You're 17!

I don't want to get into a tirade, but i disapprove all around.

 

[BobG]

part 1: Hah! Fat chance!

part 2: A bicycle built for two is always nice. Well, almost. Except in North Dakota in the winter - but, that's a good thing. Weed out the weak right off the bat. You want a hearty girl.

 

[etc]

to franz: that's why some guy invented lying. so that 17 year old girls may sleep over at 17 year old boys' houses.

bob, haha, i have a crappy grandpa bike with one huge mutha****in' seat. it's pretty sexy, but ain't no car. I'm not sure what you meant by weed out the weak, but I'm going to assume you mean smoke lots of weed. OK. i'll have to buy some and get her trying too.

ah but this is all assuming i'll pull off getting my mum to agree.. lies folks! lies! she'd be more likely to approve if she didn't know i didn't know her .. hmm!

 

[etc]

oh, and franz, why do you "disapprove all around"? hopefully that's not an age card thing.

 

[Smurf]

part1: have a bat when you go to the door, she's prolly a 40 year old dutch woman.

part2: use parents car?

 

[etc]

or she's black, 500 pounds, and called bubba, and i just didn't notice. ;D

and nah, no license .. looks like the granpda bike is my old pimped out transportation.

 

[russ_watters]

or she's black, 500 pounds, and called bubba, and i just didn't notice. ;D

You laugh, but it really is worth considering (unlikely, but worth considering). Serial killers are nothing if not patient.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I'm just trying to imagine myself at age 17 saying "Mom, there's this guy I know from the Internet and I'm going to go sleep over at his house for a couple of days. Is that ok with you?"

 

[Artman]

Yeah, I'm voting for 40 year old tranvestite.

If she is indeed a 17 year old girl, ask her for a good lie or two, cause she told a few to get to visit a guy she met over the internet.

 

[BobG]

or she's black, 500 pounds, and called bubba, and i just didn't notice. ;D

and nah, no license .. looks like the granpda bike is my old pimped out transportation.

No, I said 'a hearty girl', not someone so big they'll break your bicycle. Nothing worse than having to walk home after a date with someone named Bubba.

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, so what I'm really wondering is what sort of 17 year old girl has parents who let HER go visit some guy SHE just met on the internet and "sleep" at HIS HOUSE for a few days?

If you can't take an honest approach, you shouldn't bother. And, how exactly does one lie about the presence of another person in the house anyway? "Oh, I'm just taking my leftover dinner upstairs for the, um, monster in my closet."

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea! What if she's a runaway? Or accuses you of kidnapping and raping her when HER parents find out where she is? This is not so far-fetched as you might think. Meet at the mall for a movie and pizza or something, don't have her sleeping at your house when you first meet her, especially when you're both underage (presumably). That puts a heap of responsibility on your parents if something did happen to her too.

 

[Math Is Hard]

No, I said 'a hearty girl', not someone so big they'll break your bicycle. Nothing worse than having to walk home after a date with someone named Bubba.

BobG, I hope you're not speaking from experience...

 

[loseyourname]

Okay, so what I'm really wondering is what sort of 17 year old girl has parents who let HER go visit some guy SHE just met on the internet and "sleep" at HIS HOUSE for a few days?

He did say they've known each other for 2.5 years. I wouldn't say they "just met."

If you can't take an honest approach, you shouldn't bother. And, how exactly does one lie about the presence of another person in the house anyway? "Oh, I'm just taking my leftover dinner upstairs for the, um, monster in my closet."

I don't think that's what he's lying about. He's lying about how and where he met the girl, where he knows her from. Good friends spend the night plenty without objection from parents, so he just has to convince his mother that she's a good friend.

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea! What if she's a runaway? Or accuses you of kidnapping and raping her when HER parents find out where she is? This is not so far-fetched as you might think. Meet at the mall for a movie and pizza or something, don't have her sleeping at your house when you first meet her, especially when you're both underage (presumably). That puts a heap of responsibility on your parents if something did happen to her too.

I agree that you should meet somewhere else first, but you're going a little off the deep end here. If he's been talking to this girl for 2.5 years and feels like he knows enough about her to know she isn't a runaway and isn't going to accuse him of kidnapping and rape, he's probably right. Chances are, these two just feel really comfortable with each other after talking to each other for such a long time. In fact, people often open up more on the internet than they do in person. There are always things you're never going to know, but I highly doubt this guy is in for any major surprises.

Now to answer etc:

As they say, you really should meet this girl somewhere else, but from what I can tell, the two of you do not live close to each other, and she is probably flying out to see you. You guys aren't old enough to get a hotel room and might not have the money besides, so she's staying with you. I really don't have a problem with this. I do have a problem with you lying to your mother, but if she's going to give you a response like the others on this forum, then I can understand why you feel you have to. Let this serve as an illustration to parents everywhere why your children lie to you.

 

[Moonbear]

I do have a problem with you lying to your mother, but if she's going to give you a response like the others on this forum, then I can understand why you feel you have to. Let this serve as an illustration to parents everywhere why your children lie to you.

The biggest problem here is it sounds like they've already made the plans and this girl is already on the way to visit, and he's only now springing the news on his parents. Permission should have been obtained from BOTH sets of parents prior to making ANY formal plans. Perhaps had his friend's parents planned to come along with her and make a vacation of it including a visit with him and his family, this would have been a better strategy.

Sorry, but I don't believe in 17 yr old girls sleeping at 17 yr old boys houses even if they only live a block from each other and have known each other their entire lives. At least etc is at his home with his parents present, but this sounds like a foolish plan on the part of his girlfriend and her parents (or as someone else suggested, she has already told them lies about where she will be). No offense to etc, but he should consider that everything we're warning him about her, someone ought to be warning her about him too.

That's quite a big leap to have a sleepover on the first face-to-face meeting. Afterall, what if they quickly realize they can't actually stand to be in each other's presence in real life and much of the attraction is what their imaginations have conjured up? And that he's already thinking that lying is an option, and asking us to help him with possible lies, that tells me there is already a problem.

 

[ek]

Wow. This thread is...wow.

Don't get raped. Seriously. Be careful. This doesn't sound good at all.

 

[dextercioby]

1.Let's assume u're both 17.Actually I'm not sure about'er,you would have no interest of claiming to be 'underage'.If things go wrong,that means legal responsability both for you and your parents.
2.I'd would have no problem asking her to my place.The trick is not to let your (and her) parents find out about it.There are some problems.I,as a father of a girl,would not trust her,if,all of a sudden,she comes to me and says:"Daddy,i want to ago and stay for sometime at my buddy/classmate,Julianne.For a few days.They have a nice house,...all bunch of horses****".I' d simply say "no".Now,if a knew Julianne and her parents,and my wife would agree as well,then "yes".So,her parents have to IDIOTS to let her come to you.I wouldn't date a girl whose parents are idiots. Some people say "being idiot" is ereditary... There might be a chance the girl is an idiot too.
3.Your parnets have to be delivered with a credible lie.Take into account that your parents are not idiots.So it's better if they simply didn't know about it.When they're gone from home in a trip or something,it's the "ideal" time.Or their work requires some traveling.In the best/ideal case they would realize that a boy at 17 is (almost) sexually mature and not see a problem bringing girls home for "the royal treatment'. But i assume it's not the case,else u would not have stepped up for a piece of advice/credible lie for your parents...
4.If she really wants to come to you,then u have created that "bond".U can almost be sure she won't press charges of rape.Her parents might... I assume,though speaking only on the internet,you have seen her.A picture/more,a little movie/clip can be sent from one to another.In that case,u may not have the awful surprise of her showing up and having only a leg,a breast too much (her grandparents would have survived Hiroshima and her parents Chernobyl ) and 24 toes.At that single leg...
So i trust u know what you're doin'.U've calculated every possible turnout and you won't be for a big AWFUL surprise.It would be sad,really...

Use condoms.Who knows what STD's she may have...

Daniel.

PS.I'm 22 and my girlfriend is only 17.We've been together since Oct.2002.So i should know pretty well about lying to own's parents...But i won't give u any advice/lie.It may not apply...
GOOD LUCK AND TELL US HOW IT/SHE WAS...

 

[check]

few options:

1. Tell the folks she's a foreign exchange student that's going to stay at your house temporarily because her host parents are gone for the holidays. But you'll get some extra credit at school if you let her stay.

2. Attach a rope, one end to her arm and one end to yours and tell your parents that you two are part of a contest to see which two people can stay tied to each other the longest without going crazy. First prize is a $20 gift certificate to Home Depot.

3. Tell your folks that you and her are conducting a study on insomnia. She's been awake for 30 hours and has 70 more to go and you have to watch her and take notes every hour.

Hmm...this is fun. I'll think of some more.

 

[Kerrie]

I have heard of many episodes nowadays that parents allow co-ed sleepovers, mostly though with a group of kids rather then one on one. It's definitely different then what was allowed in my day, but at the same time, the parents know where their teens are and can "check" on them. It's better then a parent saying no and their teen sneaking off and lying to them creating a sense of distrust. Kids are doing more adult things at a younger age and that trend I think will continue on.

Etc, I assume your parent/s know of Heather? If you had told her you met her through the internet, would they be more against your meeting? Ideally, you should have your parents blessing for this meeting, and everything else. Also, work on the honesty thing, you may lose a few good girls if you believe lying will work.

 

[loseyourname]

Sorry, but I don't believe in 17 yr old girls sleeping at 17 yr old boys houses even if they only live a block from each other and have known each other their entire lives.

I understand. I just like to look at people, including minors, a little more individually. If etc was my kid, I would consider his past and his personality before making any decisions as to whether or not he was fit to spend the night with a girl. I'm sure there are minors who can't handle it, but I can still remember being 17 myself, and having girls spend the night. Nothing bad ever came from it, so I certainly know that disaster is not necessarily imminent.

 

[loseyourname]

PS.I'm 22 and my girlfriend is only 17.We've been together since Oct.2002.So i should know pretty well about lying to own's parents...But i won't give u any advice/lie.It may not apply...
GOOD LUCK AND TELL US HOW IT/SHE WAS...

Okay, now kids, look at this. This is the reason parents don't trust you. Guys like Daniel here, who have 15 year-old girlfriends when they are 20 and have been lying to their parents for years about what they've been doing together. Just out of curiosity, why are you admitting to criminal behavior on a public forum? Are there no statutory rape laws where you live?