Is spanking is an effective way to discipline kids?

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In summary: It would be more practical to have a system where certain behaviors earn a time-out, and then enforce that system consistently.For toddlers still in diapers, it's probably an effective deterrent for things they'd definitely better not do (don't touch the top of the stove, don't stick things in the electical outlets, don't ride your 'big wheel' towards the basement stairs, don't hold a cat and a dust-buster at the same time). Aside from the 'immediate danger' kind of things you want to be sure your kids avoid at almost any cost, there's usually a lot more effective punishments.
  • #36
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  • #37
True, it's a bad analogy, but the threat is still there. "Popping" a kid in the mouth sounds like outright child abuse to me.

No its not a threat, its a consequence. Pointing a gun at someone is a threat. Oh yes, that poor child got a little slap on the cheek! He'll be dramatized for life! I'm sorry, but I can understand why some people don't approve of spanking because they believe its ineffective, but now you're trying to treat children like wusses.

You can't raise a child by fear because that doesn't garner respect.

Wrong. Fear does indeed garner respect.

Can someone give me a decent explenation of how, in any way or form, beating your kids can help them?

So they can see consequences for there actions and, if need be, get them to behave themselves under certain circumstances. Also to teach a child respect for their parents.

When they are old enough to understand you, it's no longer necessary.

Dude, serious. A child isn't going to understand a lot of the morals you try to teach them because they are, infact, a child. Think of all the misunderstandings teens have with there parents! Children don't understand the world.

I don't need to take my frustrations with my child's behavior out on them to feel better.

Thats child abuse you're talking about. We are talking about spanking for disciplinary purposes. Spanking for disciplinary purposes doesn't envolve acting on pure emotion.
 
  • #38
Entropy said:
Wrong. Fear does indeed garner respect.
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Wrong. Fear and respect are 2 different things. When you spank a child and don't explain the reason for the spanking, they simply learned that They shouldn't do something because they will get hit. They never understand WHY you hit them, just that they did this, so they got hit. Then they start to think that the hitting isn't warranted and that it's unfair. And it goes downhill from there.

Spanking a kid brings compliance from fear of reprisal. Punishment with explanations in their terms brings respect because they recognize that you truly know what's best for them.


[QUOTE}
So they can see consequences for there actions and, if need be, get them to behave themselves under certain circumstances. Also to teach a child respect for their parents.

I think you meant teach them to fear you beating the living crud out of them, not respect.


Dude, serious. A child isn't going to understand a lot of the morals you try to teach them because they are, infact, a child. Think of all the misunderstandings teens have with there parents! Children don't understand the world.

There are lots of object lessons you can teach your child that they will understand, without spanking them.


Thats child abuse you're talking about. We are talking about spanking for disciplinary purposes. Spanking for disciplinary purposes doesn't envolve acting on pure emotion.

Regardless of what it's called, it's the end result that matters. You can be afraid of someone, do whatever they say, and still not respect them.
 
  • #39
I think you meant teach them to fear you beating the living crud out of them, not respect.

That is respect! When giving strong consideration to one's authority, that is respect. True, other forms of respect can, and should, be made in other ways like spending time with them and whatnot. But that isn't going to get a child to obey you when he/she really wants something.

Also, spanking isn't beating the crud out of someone. I think you have a horrible misconception of a slap across the cheek, or a belt to the bottom. You seem to think it involves a child actually being hurt or bruised. The worst that happens is a little red skin that last for like five minutes.

There are lots of object lessons you can teach your child that they will understand, without spanking them.

Yeah, they'll understand it once they're all grown up and its too late to change the past. Most children aren't as understanding as you, me or most of the people here. You don't need to use spanking all the time, or even most of the time. But in some circumstances it is needed.

Regardless of what it's called, it's the end result that matters. You can be afraid of someone, do whatever they say, and still not respect them.

Whats your point? That a child has freewill? Of coarse its possible that a child will turn out bad no matter what you do.
 
  • #40
Moonbear said:
All little kids want to play, and if you start playing with them and spending time with them while they are still infants, they will grow to cherish this time. It's the kids who are left to their own devices who get into trouble the most.
That is not true at all. One of my friends had parents that would try to force the family to do stuff together. My friend absolutely hated his parents because of it.
 
  • #41
ShawnD said:
That is not true at all. One of my friends had parents that would try to force the family to do stuff together. My friend absolutely hated his parents because of it.

Keyword: FORCE

We never said force your kids to play with you. The fact is that when a child is annoying you, the child probably wants to play with you. The problem is that every damn parent ignores their kid.
 
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