- #1
mattchha
- 1
- 0
I'm looking for some advice-- I'm sure I'm not the only one whose been in this situation.
...And then, by chance, I came across an article about black holes and I was mystified, giddy--I found what I wanted to do with my life, I even made a point of waking up everyone in my house to tell them! I had always loved logic, but at the same time I consider myself very... dreamy. My mind is always straddling the line between realism and romanticism. Initially I told all my friends and family I wanted to study physics, but their reactions discouraged me. I knew it would be hard work, and I guess I wasn't sure at the time if I could handle it. I gave up on it.
Then, I came back to it. I still love international relations and I know I would be happy with that career path too, but once I realized it was physics, I could deny it all I wanted but it was always going to be physics! Now that I've come to understand mathematics better, I can say that I really love math too. It's strange, because I don't consider myself to be a "sciencey" person, but I'm so sure about what I want to do.
I felt very inadequate when I made this decision to pursue a degree in physics, but rather than becoming dejected, it motivated me to work harder. I started self-studying as much as I could in my free time, if I let myself play a video game I made sure I had an audiobook going, so maybe it wouldn't be entirely unproductive...I've NEVER been a "math person". I only scored a 17 in math on my ACT. Honestly, with any other subject, it all came easy to me, I never had to put any effort. So the fact that I'm now technically in my junior year and haven't even taken any classes related to math or physics, it's a little scary. Now that I'm transferring from a tiny community college with about 100 students to university with 30,000 students, I'm feeling very unspectacular. Dealing with physics PhDs when I've only taken a college algebra class that I'm struggling to get an A in, it's very intimidating.
So I guess, like many younglings that came to this website before, I'd like to know if there's any advice you can offer me in my future studies. Tomorrow I'll be meeting with my academic advisor/professor, and I've probably never talked to anyone that intelligent before. More than that, I don't think I've talked to someone that professional before. It's a vague, dumb question, but is there anything I should do/ not do? Man, I know this is sounding more like something that should be on yahoo answers, I just want to make sure to make a good first impression.
This is going to seem like a whiny autobiography, but I feel like mentioning these things has a point and might lead to more relevant answers. As long as I can remember, I've dealt with depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia. Now that I'm older, I realize these things stemmed from my fear of inadequacy and my constant asking of "what if?" and "why?". I can guess that my subconscious agoraphobia is due to the fact that I always want to be in control of a situation, and if I'm surrounded by many people and the wide open, I can't focus on it all at once. (Mentioning this has a point, I promise.)
Anyway, due to my mental issues, I hated school growing up. I would skip whenever I got the chance. When I hit my teens, I became sick. I went to every specialist my family could find, and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They said it was due to my depression, and my sense of helplessness and doubt caused by the doctors lack of an answer. So, the combination of my frailty and my depression created a vicious cycle. I wouldn't go to school because I was sick, and I became depressed and anxious because of that, to the point that I couldn't handle school even when I was feeling physically able to.
For the four years of high-school I was enrolled, I probably only really was there in class for 1 1/2. My education suffered severely as a result, as well as my already less than stellar social skills. I ended up dropping out my senior year, unable to deal with everything.
I got a diagnosis, cut myself off from toxic people, and changed my mindset. I attended community college, and I realized I really loved learning. I planned on going into international diplomacy, eventually. I never had much of an interest in any science--for me it was always about language, culture, religion, and politics.
Anyway, due to my mental issues, I hated school growing up. I would skip whenever I got the chance. When I hit my teens, I became sick. I went to every specialist my family could find, and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They said it was due to my depression, and my sense of helplessness and doubt caused by the doctors lack of an answer. So, the combination of my frailty and my depression created a vicious cycle. I wouldn't go to school because I was sick, and I became depressed and anxious because of that, to the point that I couldn't handle school even when I was feeling physically able to.
For the four years of high-school I was enrolled, I probably only really was there in class for 1 1/2. My education suffered severely as a result, as well as my already less than stellar social skills. I ended up dropping out my senior year, unable to deal with everything.
I got a diagnosis, cut myself off from toxic people, and changed my mindset. I attended community college, and I realized I really loved learning. I planned on going into international diplomacy, eventually. I never had much of an interest in any science--for me it was always about language, culture, religion, and politics.
...And then, by chance, I came across an article about black holes and I was mystified, giddy--I found what I wanted to do with my life, I even made a point of waking up everyone in my house to tell them! I had always loved logic, but at the same time I consider myself very... dreamy. My mind is always straddling the line between realism and romanticism. Initially I told all my friends and family I wanted to study physics, but their reactions discouraged me. I knew it would be hard work, and I guess I wasn't sure at the time if I could handle it. I gave up on it.
Then, I came back to it. I still love international relations and I know I would be happy with that career path too, but once I realized it was physics, I could deny it all I wanted but it was always going to be physics! Now that I've come to understand mathematics better, I can say that I really love math too. It's strange, because I don't consider myself to be a "sciencey" person, but I'm so sure about what I want to do.
I felt very inadequate when I made this decision to pursue a degree in physics, but rather than becoming dejected, it motivated me to work harder. I started self-studying as much as I could in my free time, if I let myself play a video game I made sure I had an audiobook going, so maybe it wouldn't be entirely unproductive...I've NEVER been a "math person". I only scored a 17 in math on my ACT. Honestly, with any other subject, it all came easy to me, I never had to put any effort. So the fact that I'm now technically in my junior year and haven't even taken any classes related to math or physics, it's a little scary. Now that I'm transferring from a tiny community college with about 100 students to university with 30,000 students, I'm feeling very unspectacular. Dealing with physics PhDs when I've only taken a college algebra class that I'm struggling to get an A in, it's very intimidating.
So I guess, like many younglings that came to this website before, I'd like to know if there's any advice you can offer me in my future studies. Tomorrow I'll be meeting with my academic advisor/professor, and I've probably never talked to anyone that intelligent before. More than that, I don't think I've talked to someone that professional before. It's a vague, dumb question, but is there anything I should do/ not do? Man, I know this is sounding more like something that should be on yahoo answers, I just want to make sure to make a good first impression.