- #1
blade86
- 14
- 0
Well, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia almost three years ago during my Masters degree when I was homeless since I was too paranoid to live in a house/apartment. Since then I have been on heavy anti-psychotics, completed my thesis and now am at the end of my second year of PhD of a top european fellowship program(Marie-curie). Because I don't like attending classes or being around people, I took 60 credits worth of classes during the first half year and somehow managed to pass all the courses (Usually it takes two years). I have also published 3 papers in JCP.
However, I keep feeling as though my brain is functioning at much lower capacity then before. I feel like I don't have a proper grasp of even the most basic concepts and that I am much stupider than everyone around me. Whenever I get into a discussion with someone, it feels as if they are really simplifying things so that I am can understand what they are saying. For example, I think that partial differential equations should be second nature to a PhD, however I feel like I couldn't really solve difficult problems unless I have a reference of some sort. If someone was to ask me to calculate the hydrogen energy levels, I would not be able to remember it , although I know in principle how it should be done. I think most PhD students have mastered books such as Arfkens' Mathematical Methods, Sakurai's QM or Jackson Classical Electrodynamics, but I only have a superficial understanding of the topics in these books.
I don't know if these concepts take more time to understand and learn, since during my bachelors I hardly studied anything, and only learned basic calculus and linear algebra, or whether my brain is too far fried to really understand anything anymore. I wonder if anyone else has been on strong anti-psychotics and the memory problems these caused for them, and what sort of support system there may be(online or otherwise).
However, I keep feeling as though my brain is functioning at much lower capacity then before. I feel like I don't have a proper grasp of even the most basic concepts and that I am much stupider than everyone around me. Whenever I get into a discussion with someone, it feels as if they are really simplifying things so that I am can understand what they are saying. For example, I think that partial differential equations should be second nature to a PhD, however I feel like I couldn't really solve difficult problems unless I have a reference of some sort. If someone was to ask me to calculate the hydrogen energy levels, I would not be able to remember it , although I know in principle how it should be done. I think most PhD students have mastered books such as Arfkens' Mathematical Methods, Sakurai's QM or Jackson Classical Electrodynamics, but I only have a superficial understanding of the topics in these books.
I don't know if these concepts take more time to understand and learn, since during my bachelors I hardly studied anything, and only learned basic calculus and linear algebra, or whether my brain is too far fried to really understand anything anymore. I wonder if anyone else has been on strong anti-psychotics and the memory problems these caused for them, and what sort of support system there may be(online or otherwise).