- #1
Hertz
- 180
- 8
Hi, I'll try to keep this brief but this is a hard subject to keep brief. Thanks to all who take the time to read. I appreciate any advice even if it's just a repeat of what someone else has already said.
I have a B.S. in physics from the University of Utah with a GPA of 3.4. I finished my courses last year 2015 but I continued taking courses because I was unsure of my next move. I decided it was a waste of money to keep taking classes so I graduated this Spring 2016 and got my degree.
All my life I was planning on getting a PhD in physics. I've always been fascinated with the subject, and always been very good at it. My lackluster GPA is because I was depressed over a breakup all throughout college. I had low energy and I always procrastinated. I could have done much better in a different circumstance but that's neither here nor there. For related reasons I never ended up taking my GRE and my undergraduate research is lackluster. I never published anything. All I really did was grunt work for 2 years. Nonetheless, I do have undergraduate research experience and I could still take the GRE.
During my last undergraduate year and my year outside of school my drive to study physics has crashed and burned. I feel very smart, I feel very capable, but I feel like nobody ever noticed besides me. Why do I keep competing and competing to try to prove something if nobody will ever notice or care? Do I want to spend the next 10 or 20 years of my life competing all for the opportunity to just compete even more? I'm tired of feeling like I'm never good enough.
Furthermore, scientists have been telling people about global warming for like 50 years, nuclear energy for 100 years. Nobody listens to us. So what's even the point? I see these researchers that are 35 or 40 and they make hardly any money at all. And for what? To keep partaking in a competition that never ends? I'm 25 right now and I'm afraid if I pursue physics I will live an impoverished and busy life and in the end never even be recognized or never even make an impact.
Okay so even with all that set aside... My family are simpletons who lived mundane and pointless lives. They don't understand my vision to be exceptional. They don't know what the word physics means. They don't make good money. They simply don't sympathize with my goals in life. My family is not supportive so they've pressured me to get out of school and to move out on my own. Now here I am struggling with money every day. I'm making 9 bucks an hour and I'm spending 2 to 3 hours every day doing resumes, cover letters, follow up calls, interviews, and the like. It feels like nobody wants a physicist without an advanced degree. Everywhere I go there's someone sitting next to me with a master's in engineering.
Anyways that pretty much sums it up. Here are the options I'm considering:
- Getting a master's degree in a pragmatic field like computer science or engineering
- - But how does this work financially? I'm impoverished as it is I don't know if I can afford to continue my education.
- Going forward and getting my PhD in physics
- - Same downside as above plus the concept of competing and never ending up with a position to be proud of. I'll essentially be in poverty until I'm 35 hoping for it to pay off, without any guarantee it will pay off.
- Keep looking for jobs and just get on somewhere and start working my way up
- - The major downside of this is that I'd be just giving up on my dreams and submitting to the system.
- Jump off a bridge
- - Currently this seems like the most practical option
As a final note let me tell you that if I get an advanced degree I will probably try to do it in Europe. I've lived in the same town my whole life and I'm tired of it. Let me know what you think about this.
Again, I appreciate you for giving me your consideration and I appreciate any advice. I hope you all have a wonderful day.
I have a B.S. in physics from the University of Utah with a GPA of 3.4. I finished my courses last year 2015 but I continued taking courses because I was unsure of my next move. I decided it was a waste of money to keep taking classes so I graduated this Spring 2016 and got my degree.
All my life I was planning on getting a PhD in physics. I've always been fascinated with the subject, and always been very good at it. My lackluster GPA is because I was depressed over a breakup all throughout college. I had low energy and I always procrastinated. I could have done much better in a different circumstance but that's neither here nor there. For related reasons I never ended up taking my GRE and my undergraduate research is lackluster. I never published anything. All I really did was grunt work for 2 years. Nonetheless, I do have undergraduate research experience and I could still take the GRE.
During my last undergraduate year and my year outside of school my drive to study physics has crashed and burned. I feel very smart, I feel very capable, but I feel like nobody ever noticed besides me. Why do I keep competing and competing to try to prove something if nobody will ever notice or care? Do I want to spend the next 10 or 20 years of my life competing all for the opportunity to just compete even more? I'm tired of feeling like I'm never good enough.
Furthermore, scientists have been telling people about global warming for like 50 years, nuclear energy for 100 years. Nobody listens to us. So what's even the point? I see these researchers that are 35 or 40 and they make hardly any money at all. And for what? To keep partaking in a competition that never ends? I'm 25 right now and I'm afraid if I pursue physics I will live an impoverished and busy life and in the end never even be recognized or never even make an impact.
Okay so even with all that set aside... My family are simpletons who lived mundane and pointless lives. They don't understand my vision to be exceptional. They don't know what the word physics means. They don't make good money. They simply don't sympathize with my goals in life. My family is not supportive so they've pressured me to get out of school and to move out on my own. Now here I am struggling with money every day. I'm making 9 bucks an hour and I'm spending 2 to 3 hours every day doing resumes, cover letters, follow up calls, interviews, and the like. It feels like nobody wants a physicist without an advanced degree. Everywhere I go there's someone sitting next to me with a master's in engineering.
Anyways that pretty much sums it up. Here are the options I'm considering:
- Getting a master's degree in a pragmatic field like computer science or engineering
- - But how does this work financially? I'm impoverished as it is I don't know if I can afford to continue my education.
- Going forward and getting my PhD in physics
- - Same downside as above plus the concept of competing and never ending up with a position to be proud of. I'll essentially be in poverty until I'm 35 hoping for it to pay off, without any guarantee it will pay off.
- Keep looking for jobs and just get on somewhere and start working my way up
- - The major downside of this is that I'd be just giving up on my dreams and submitting to the system.
- Jump off a bridge
- - Currently this seems like the most practical option
As a final note let me tell you that if I get an advanced degree I will probably try to do it in Europe. I've lived in the same town my whole life and I'm tired of it. Let me know what you think about this.
Again, I appreciate you for giving me your consideration and I appreciate any advice. I hope you all have a wonderful day.
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