- #1
pensive in PA
- 5
- 1
In 2017 I graduated with a B.S. in physics and went on to a physics Ph.D. program in the fall. After six months, though, because of mental health problems I left grad school on a "medical leave of absence" from which I chose not to return in fall 2018. After job-searching for a while, I settled for a temp job doing office work, where I ended up being hired full-time and staying for 3 years. I finally left in June but have had, if anything, a harder time finding a job doing anything that interests me than I did in 2019. I've lately started wondering if I should instead work toward going to grad school again. I can think of many reasons both for and against this:
FOR:
+ I am still genuinely interested in physics. I spent 3 summers in undergrad working as a research assistant in two different groups, and I very much enjoyed it.
+ My mental health and support network are both much better now than they were in 2018.
+ Whereas before I was motivated largely by wanting to become respected and prove to myself and others that I really was as smart as I had always been told I was, now my motivation is mostly interest in physics. That is, if I have to do something for 40 hours a week for the next 40 years, working in physics seems like one of the most engaging and maybe even fulfilling ways to spend that time.
AGAINST:
- My path to grad school is more difficult and unsure than it was in 2017. How would I relearn what I need to know? Where would I apply? Who would I even ask for letters of recommendation? etc.
- I can't be sure that my interest in physics is enough to carry me through 5-7 years of the hardest work I've ever done. I mean, I say "interest" in physics because I'm not quite sure I can call it a "love" or a "passion". I honestly don't think there's any subject I'm "passionate" enough about that I'd do anything to work in it.
- When I went to grad school before, I didn't feel like I had any other option. I'm not sure that's not the case this time, since my options for interesting jobs seem very limited with just a B.S.
- I don't know what kind of physics I'd want to specialize in. The professors I worked for were in medium-energy particle and condensed matter physics, which both seem interesting enough, but I'm not sure I can rule anything out.
- I don't have a great idea of what I want to do with a higher degree other than generally "research".
- I may still be able to find a suitable job now, versus having to be in school again until my mid-30s.
I don't expect anyone to be able to give me a definite answer to my title question, but any advice would be much appreciated.
FOR:
+ I am still genuinely interested in physics. I spent 3 summers in undergrad working as a research assistant in two different groups, and I very much enjoyed it.
+ My mental health and support network are both much better now than they were in 2018.
+ Whereas before I was motivated largely by wanting to become respected and prove to myself and others that I really was as smart as I had always been told I was, now my motivation is mostly interest in physics. That is, if I have to do something for 40 hours a week for the next 40 years, working in physics seems like one of the most engaging and maybe even fulfilling ways to spend that time.
AGAINST:
- My path to grad school is more difficult and unsure than it was in 2017. How would I relearn what I need to know? Where would I apply? Who would I even ask for letters of recommendation? etc.
- I can't be sure that my interest in physics is enough to carry me through 5-7 years of the hardest work I've ever done. I mean, I say "interest" in physics because I'm not quite sure I can call it a "love" or a "passion". I honestly don't think there's any subject I'm "passionate" enough about that I'd do anything to work in it.
- When I went to grad school before, I didn't feel like I had any other option. I'm not sure that's not the case this time, since my options for interesting jobs seem very limited with just a B.S.
- I don't know what kind of physics I'd want to specialize in. The professors I worked for were in medium-energy particle and condensed matter physics, which both seem interesting enough, but I'm not sure I can rule anything out.
- I don't have a great idea of what I want to do with a higher degree other than generally "research".
- I may still be able to find a suitable job now, versus having to be in school again until my mid-30s.
I don't expect anyone to be able to give me a definite answer to my title question, but any advice would be much appreciated.