Want to know the secret behind a successful synagogue's finances?

[Townsend]

read this on another forum:

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes," answered the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked. "A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way... "Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs
from the matzo?" Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, " we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls." "Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi. "Well,Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? "
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service."
"Internal Revenue Service?," questioned the auditor in disbelief. "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue Service. And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you

 

[Tsu]

30 views and no comments. Humpf. deadbeats...

Well, I laughed pretty good...

Thanks, Townsend. I had another really-bad-patient-night last night (9 day old baby ) so I needed a good laugh.

 

[Evo]

I guess no one wanted to bring up the fact that churches don't pay tax.

 

[Townsend]

30 views and no comments. Humpf. deadbeats...

Well, I laughed pretty good...

Thanks, Townsend. I had another really-bad-patient-night last night (9 day old baby ) so I needed a good laugh.

Well I'm you were able to get a laugh out of it at least.

 

[Townsend]

I guess no one wanted to bring up the fact that churches don't pay tax.

From what I understand they can be taxed...

they have to follow a lot of rules to avoid paying taxes, hence the auditor.

 

[Tsu]

I guess no one wanted to bring up the fact that churches don't pay tax.

Ohhhh... DEtails... It was still pretty freakin' funny...

OT: How's it goin', Sis? Haven't talked to you in a while. PM me, o'tay?

 

[Echo 6 Sierra]

Jokes about cutting..."down there" aren't funny...at all. Now if they made a coin purse out of them and the more you touched it it became a suitcase, THAT's funny.

 

[Evo]

Jokes about cutting..."down there" aren't funny...at all. Now if they made a coin purse out of them and the more you touched it it became a suitcase, THAT's funny.

Now that would be funny.

 

[Evo]

OT: How's it goin', Sis? Haven't talked to you in a while. PM me, o'tay?

o'tay!

it's time to do away with the 10 character limit

 

[Smurf]

what's the IRS?

 

[Moonbear]

30 views and no comments. Humpf. deadbeats...

Well, I laughed pretty good...

Hee hee...I read it and forgot to reply because I immediately copied it and forwarded it on to friends. I loved it.

Thanks, Townsend. I had another really-bad-patient-night last night (9 day old baby ) so I needed a good laugh.

Oh, that's sad.

 

[Moonbear]

what's the IRS?

Internal Revenue Service. They're the evil people who take our money for taxes.

 

[Tsu]

Oh, that's sad.

You just can't imagine.

Just a FYI for those who may not know... IF you know of a pregnant woman who has/had genital herpes, PLEASE be sure to encourage them to imform their OB doc. If a child is born with congenital herpes it is treatable. If not, the child will become septic and all their internal organs will be compromised by coagulation problems and they can just bleed to death (internally and from every orifice) within a matter of hours. It's DREADFUL!

 

[Moonbear]

You just can't imagine.

Just a FYI for those who may not know... IF you know of a pregnant woman who has/had genital herpes, PLEASE be sure to encourage them to imform their OB doc. If a child is born with congenital herpes it is treatable. If not, the child will become septic and all their internal organs will be compromised by coagulation problems and they can just bleed to death (internally and from every orifice) within a matter of hours. It's DREADFUL!

I take it this was someone who didn't go for regular prenatal check-ups with the OB/Gyn that this wasn't found out until after the baby was born and sick?

Though, I kind of wondered about this when they had the brief questionnaire of assorted questions when my sister was brought to the hospital in labor...they just ask all these questions while there's a roomful of people, and I'm not sure that's the best way to guarantee honest answers from anyone. One of the questions was whether her husband had ever abused her, and my sister and I both asked almost simultaneously of the nurse, "If he had, would anyone admit to it while their husband is standing next to them?" It seems to me they need to have a system that gets everyone else out of the room, including the husband, for about 5 to 10 min to ask all the questions that a woman might not want to answer in front of her entire family...maybe tell them for security, they need to all sign in at the nurse's station, or have a volunteer take them on a quick tour of where to find cafeterias, where they can place phone calls, etc. Would anyone really want to admit to having herpes with their mom standing next to the bedside, or admit to being abused by their husband/boyfriend with their husband/boyfriend standing next to the bedside?

 

[JamesU]

Internal Revenue Service. They're the evil people who take our money for taxes.

want me to call in the military?