- #1
Mentalist
All right! There is this guy in my lab. We have been partners since the beginning of the semester. The problems began when he started to gossip about me with other people. I didn't do anything about it because quite frankly, I did not know what to do in such a situation. After that he then began to be more patronizing. A specific case is when we were doing a group lab for physics, and I contributed to most of the problems done but we had to diagram our results in an excel file, he said out-loud two times, "Did you get the excel spreadsheet that I completed?" This doesn't sound bad, but I contributed to the spreadsheet and problem-set. In that respect, I took as if he was trying to alert everyone in the classroom that he was doing all the work.
That was the first group project. The second time is, even though I knew all the material as, again as usual, I was doing my fair share of the mathematical work, he then treated me like I was some child saying, "This is how 'x' is related to 'y', and how does 'z' relate to 'insert other variable?" This was done in a group where I was doing the work I delegated myself to do. But the reason he did that was because I made an error, to which I picked up on once he mentioned it. I did say, "Oh! I'm sorry, I will redo it" but he decided to ask that question that made me look like an idiot.
Yesterday, he said I needed the most help on the group project when we didn't even begin cracking open the problem set to begin, and I snapped. I gave him a tongue lashing. From referring to him as being grown within a barnyard family, to saying he was liken to a Neanderthal that couldn't distinguish a stick from a rock. I said it calmly and the group heard it, and there were some snickering. I thought I saw his eyes watering up, so I went further until he began crying. Then the professor stopped the music and asked us outside. After he apologized to which I didn't accept on the basis, just because he is crying doesn't mean I need to amend this “relationship”. After openly rejecting his apology in the hallway, the professor asked me to leave the class for the day.
Then today I get an email from the professor asking for a meeting. Now I have to deal with that and even though I should be worried about possible research prospects and I have been doing well so far in research as I have been doing it for almost a year now, at this point, I don't care if I get kicked off. There are too many people like him at the school that believe they are better because they happen to be in a higher income bracket and wear the latest fashion.
I just don't care for that boy any longer and I am glad I saw him crying. I am glad everyone else saw him crying to this day, and I won't accept his apology. He decided to belittle me this whole semester and when he gets the same treatment he’s been dishing out, he begins to wail?
I've quickly become the bad guy now, and on campus I just get stares. Nothing that seems like stares of hate, but rather people just look at me more often than they did before. I don't like that but the guy shouldn't treat people that way. I simply put up with it hoping that I can be amiable and he'd stop (a major overhaul from my previous confrontational self) but that turned around when he decided to take it to the next level.
I need to know what to say to the professor now. I am not going to accept his halfhearted apology as I believe one apologizes when he has done something wrong, unintentionally, or has had time to rethink the actions committed and knows why he or she is apologizing. He obviously just wanted me to further bend to his will, thus putting me back in place whilst he gains favor with the class as I am sitting there looking like some bully.
Anyway, could I have some advice? I have been in my head all day going through scenarios of what to say. (Please don't ask me to apologize, I really dislike this guy for the way he treated me and I have 4.5 more weeks left dealing with him). I need to know how to make the professor see my side of the story without further looking like some bully to which he told me he is against.
That was the first group project. The second time is, even though I knew all the material as, again as usual, I was doing my fair share of the mathematical work, he then treated me like I was some child saying, "This is how 'x' is related to 'y', and how does 'z' relate to 'insert other variable?" This was done in a group where I was doing the work I delegated myself to do. But the reason he did that was because I made an error, to which I picked up on once he mentioned it. I did say, "Oh! I'm sorry, I will redo it" but he decided to ask that question that made me look like an idiot.
Yesterday, he said I needed the most help on the group project when we didn't even begin cracking open the problem set to begin, and I snapped. I gave him a tongue lashing. From referring to him as being grown within a barnyard family, to saying he was liken to a Neanderthal that couldn't distinguish a stick from a rock. I said it calmly and the group heard it, and there were some snickering. I thought I saw his eyes watering up, so I went further until he began crying. Then the professor stopped the music and asked us outside. After he apologized to which I didn't accept on the basis, just because he is crying doesn't mean I need to amend this “relationship”. After openly rejecting his apology in the hallway, the professor asked me to leave the class for the day.
Then today I get an email from the professor asking for a meeting. Now I have to deal with that and even though I should be worried about possible research prospects and I have been doing well so far in research as I have been doing it for almost a year now, at this point, I don't care if I get kicked off. There are too many people like him at the school that believe they are better because they happen to be in a higher income bracket and wear the latest fashion.
I just don't care for that boy any longer and I am glad I saw him crying. I am glad everyone else saw him crying to this day, and I won't accept his apology. He decided to belittle me this whole semester and when he gets the same treatment he’s been dishing out, he begins to wail?
I've quickly become the bad guy now, and on campus I just get stares. Nothing that seems like stares of hate, but rather people just look at me more often than they did before. I don't like that but the guy shouldn't treat people that way. I simply put up with it hoping that I can be amiable and he'd stop (a major overhaul from my previous confrontational self) but that turned around when he decided to take it to the next level.
I need to know what to say to the professor now. I am not going to accept his halfhearted apology as I believe one apologizes when he has done something wrong, unintentionally, or has had time to rethink the actions committed and knows why he or she is apologizing. He obviously just wanted me to further bend to his will, thus putting me back in place whilst he gains favor with the class as I am sitting there looking like some bully.
Anyway, could I have some advice? I have been in my head all day going through scenarios of what to say. (Please don't ask me to apologize, I really dislike this guy for the way he treated me and I have 4.5 more weeks left dealing with him). I need to know how to make the professor see my side of the story without further looking like some bully to which he told me he is against.