What Are the Strangest and Most Humorous Song Lyrics?

[Jimmy Snyder]

I heard this on on the Dr. Demento show many years ago and never forgot the words. I do not know the name of it or who wrote or performed it.

Just an atom of chlorine, valence minus one.
Swimming thru the sea, digging the scene, just having fun.
She's not worried about the shape or size of her outside shell.
It's fun to ionize.
Just an atom of Cl, with an unfilled shell.

Somewhere in that sea lurks handsome Sodium.
With enough electrons on his outside shell plus that extra one.
Somewhere in this deep blue sea there's a negative
for my extra energy. Yes,
somewhere in this foam my positive will find a home.

Then unsuspecting Chlorine felt a magnetic pull.
She looked down and her outside shell was full.
Sodium cried "What a gas, be my bride,
and I'll change your name from Chlorine to Chloride."

Now the sea evaporates to make the clouds for the rain and snow.
Leaving her chemical compounds in the abscence of H2O.
But the crystals that wash upon the shore are happy ones.
So, if you never thought before,
think of the love that you eat when you salt your meat.

 

[dublin37]

these are great lyrics, but I am looking for lyrics to a hillarious song I heard tonite. It is called "Back in the stirrups again". Anyone? It is soooo funny. Heather

 

[binzing]

"Crisco Lovefest"

Its from a Nirvana song that I've forgotten the title to.

 

[WarPhalange]

Hey cool, it's 2006 again!

Where's that old calender?

 

[offtheleft]

Hollywood Undead - Christmas In Hollywood



[Tha Producer and Charlie Scene]
[Chorus:]
It's Christmas in Hollywood
Santa's back up in the hood
So meet me under the mistletoe let's ****
It's Chanukah in Inglewood
the dradles spinning in the hood
so meet me by the manura let's get drunk

[Charlie Scene and J-dog]
J J J Just a little story about last Christmas
About some bad kids who were full of wishes
We gave some gifts and then we gave some lovin
The weird kind of love that you give to your cousin

Little Timmy stole from 7-11
So we stopped by his house with a pair of sevens
We drank in his room with some dude named Kevin
But there was still some bad kids who deserved some presents

Zack got caught with a bottle of jack
So we slipped down his chimney with an 18 pack
He didn't leave cookies but we needed a snack
So we took the beer back and I ****ED HIM IN THE ***!

It's Charlie Scene got egg nog in my flask
The holidays are back and all my presents are wrapped
Like oh my god is that saint nick
Kids give me your list like its the 25th

Been accused of being a bad kid
But I get presents as is
Cause MRS. Clause just myspace'd me
I blew off a date on Christmas eve.

So I don't give a **** if your naughty or nice
You might still get a Rolly (rolex) and a gang on ice
So write your list and never have no fear
Have a Hollywood Christmas and an Undead new year!
**** YEAH!

[The Server and Da Kurlzz]
bout to serve it up for for all you boys and girls.
good kids, bad and even Da Kurlzz.
we were chillin at home and deckin the halls.
so I checked my phone and Santa had called.
he said he'd swing by at a quarter to twelve.
he said that his jolly *** needed some help.
he said Christmas aint a gang but a way of life.
"if you guide my sleigh, I'll let you **** my wife."

so we jumped in his sleigh and it started to jingle,
funnier than **** you can ask Chris Kringle.
so we all took flight but something was fishy.
he asked for road head and started to kiss me.

underneath his suit was just a bunch of pillows.
instead of bags of presents, he had bags of dildo's.
I pulled down his beard and it was a monster.
it wasn't saint nick it was a ****in imposter.

when we found out he started to pout.
I took my bandana and I choked him out.
I pulled off his beard and I ****ed his mouth.
hi-jacked his sleigh and headed down south.

I had a lot of wild nights but tonight was the craziest,
met a lot of Jeff's but this one was shadiest.
when it comes to cheer that mother****ers a grinch.
so if you don't like Christmas **** YOU *****!