What kinds of foods give you the winds ?

[turbo]

What kinds of foods give you "the winds"?

Since Wolram is exploring the capture and use of human-produced methane I thought it would be interesting to see what foods produce the most gas.

 

[ShawnD]

Just an opinion, but if any of those give you gas it probably means you're on the brink of death and it's a good time to write a will

I only get gassy when I'm very sick, so I didn't vote for any of those.

 

[moe darklight]

all of the above! PF smokers: beware of my company in small quarters.

 

[turbo]

Stuff made with high concentrations of dry beans (like the pot of beans baking in the oven right now) can make me gassy, but I'm pretty much bullet proof for most other foods. Even chili doesn't usually get me going. I've got a neighbor that loves apples, but if he eats any more than one, he is a danger to others.

 

[Evo]

Cabbage is worse thean beans for me. I love cabbage.

And now you know why I live alone.

 

[George Jones]

Dahl, which we have semi-regularly, does it to me.

 

[turbo]

Dahl, which we have semi-regularly, does it to me.

Ah, yes! The harmless-looking little lentil. My wife makes a hummus/dip from canned black beans, jalapenos, lemon juice, fresh garlic, onion, etc that is pretty deadly.

 

[Math Jeans]

Cabbage and broccoli. And I eat lots of Chinese food (with cabbage and broccoli).

 

[scorpa]

The only thing that gets me is KFC chicken, there is something bad in that stuff that just does very horrible things to a person. Luckily I don't have a hard time staying away from it as it is disgusting food anyway.

 

[Moonbear]

Gosh, don't we sound like a bunch of old fogeys talking about what makes us gassy!

Cabbage, definitely; broccoli to some extent (and I love broccoli too)...makes sense, they're related vegetables. Beans too, but only some, and only if I pig out on them (like when I made a 15 bean soup...yummy, but best consumed when you have no need to be around other people the day after).

 

[turbo]

The only thing that gets me is KFC chicken, there is something bad in that stuff that just does very horrible things to a person. Luckily I don't have a hard time staying away from it as it is disgusting food anyway.

You may have a sensitivity to MSG. That's one of the "secret herbs and spices" in the recipe. If you have similar problems with Lipton Onion Soup mix and stuff made with canned beef or chicken broths, that's about all the confirmation you need. All are very high in MSG, though it is hidden under aliases describing how the glutamates were produced; "autolyzed yeast", hydrolyzed vegetable protein", "modified food starch" and over 50 others, including the ubiquitous "natural flavors".

 

[Moonbear]

You may have a sensitivity to MSG.

Could just be the amount of fat in it too.

If you have similar problems with Lipton Onion Soup mix

Umm..usually it's the onions that are the culprit in that.

and stuff made with canned beef or chicken broths, that's about all the confirmation you need.

That would be more of a smoking gun.

 

[Cyrus]

I voted for all of them, because I love to fart. Its funny.

 

[turbo]

I voted for all of them, because I love to fart. Its funny.

Hey, Cy! Pull my finger!

 

[chroot]

My worst offenders aren't on the list. They are:

1) Beer
2) Ice cream
3) Soda

There's no way you'll ever catch me getting wasted on a case of beer. More than two beers in a night will make me feel so bloated I think I'm going to rupture something, and then... well, the next day's "winds" are usually so unpleasant I can barely stand to be around myself. Trust me, cyrus, it's only funny for the first four hours.

Cheaper ice creams contain a lot of air, which is mixed very thoroughly into the cream in order to achieve a nice fluffy texture. The downside is that you almost cannot avoid swallowing a large amount of this air, even if you let the ice cream completely melt in your mouth before swallowing. Denser, premium ice creams like Ben & Jerry's are less of a problem.

Soda's pretty self-explanatory. What goes in must go out.

- Warren

 

[Cyrus]

Maybe for the first four hours. But during those four hours its still FUN-NAY!

I always belch out soda fizz. Thats funny too.

 

[adx24001]

Ground or whole cumin seeds aids good digestion, reducing flatulence!

 

[turbo]

My worst offenders aren't on the list. They are:

1) Beer
2) Ice cream
3) Soda

There's no way you'll ever catch me getting wasted on a case of beer. More than two beers in a night will make me feel so bloated I think I'm going to rupture something, and then... well, the next day's "winds" are usually so unpleasant I can barely stand to be around myself. Trust me, cyrus, it's only funny for the first four hours.

Cheaper ice creams contain a lot of air, which is mixed very thoroughly into the cream in order to achieve a nice fluffy texture. The downside is that you almost cannot avoid swallowing a large amount of this air, even if you let the ice cream completely melt in your mouth before swallowing. Denser, premium ice creams like Ben & Jerry's are less of a problem.

Soda's pretty self-explanatory. What goes in must go out.

- Warren

Ooh, sorry! I had room for only 10 choices and never got to the whipped/air rich stuff that we might eat. Obviously, carbonated beverages can be a problem, but (not so obviously) whipped-up light ice creams with lots of air can be deadly. That air is cold, low-volume, and evenly dispersed in the ice cream, but when it hits your gut, warms, expands, and collects in pockets... well the possibilities can be exciting. Maybe that's why eating deep-fried breaded ice cream after a bean-heavy dinner at a "Mexican" restaurant is not a real good idea.

 

[Moonbear]

My worst offenders aren't on the list. They are:

1) Beer
2) Ice cream
3) Soda

There's no way you'll ever catch me getting wasted on a case of beer. More than two beers in a night will make me feel so bloated I think I'm going to rupture something, and then... well, the next day's "winds" are usually so unpleasant I can barely stand to be around myself. Trust me, cyrus, it's only funny for the first four hours.

Cheaper ice creams contain a lot of air, which is mixed very thoroughly into the cream in order to achieve a nice fluffy texture. The downside is that you almost cannot avoid swallowing a large amount of this air, even if you let the ice cream completely melt in your mouth before swallowing. Denser, premium ice creams like Ben & Jerry's are less of a problem.

Soda's pretty self-explanatory. What goes in must go out.

- Warren

Hmm...I've never had a problem with ice cream. Beer and soda just make me burp. I guess if you don't burp enough, it has to get out the other way.

 

[chroot]

After I started my first job out of college, I celebrated with some friends and some beer. The next day, I was first confronted with a novel question, the answer to which still eludes me: if I fart in my cubicle, can the person in the next cube smell it?

Do the cubicle walls somehow act to contain the fart? Do the ceiling-mounted vents encourage the fart upwards, away from neighbors' noses? I may never know.

I did learn one thing that day, though. That afternoon, I unleashed a suffocating demon of a fart into the closed-cell foam of my office chair. No more than ten seconds later, by some terrible coincidence, the incredibly cute HR girl who did my hiring paperwork showed up at my cubicle to introduce herself and welcome me to the company. All the while, the beast was slowly leaking out, sinking to the floor and filling the cubicle.

I saw it: her nose crinkled. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she withdrew her hand from mine. She looked at me for a second, steadily. Her face betrayed her thoughts: You're a disgusting animal, aren't you? Did you really just fart right in front of me? Good lord, what the hell did you eat? She cut the conversation a bit shorter than you'd expect and left me alone to ponder my abysmal luck.

I never gathered the courage to explain to her that no, I hadn't farted in her presence; that it was just trapped in the cushion from a moment before she arrived. Something tells me that information wouldn't have done much to improve her opinion of me, anyway.

- Warren

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I say we kidnap warren and duct tape a couple 40s of Olde English 800 to his hands. Then let him lose to terrorize the streets.

 

[chroot]

I say we kidnap warren and duct tape a couple 40s of old english 800 to his hands. Then let him lose to terrorize the streets.

Would I qualify as a smart bomb?

- Warren

 

[edward]

The solution is to use Beano. It works wonders.

http://www.beanogas.com/

 

[turbo]

Hmm...I've never had a problem with ice cream. Beer and soda just make me burp. I guess if you don't burp enough, it has to get out the other way.

I'm with you on this one! Once you let ingested gases get past the stomach, it can be a free-for-all, changing the rate of progression of nutrients and unbalancing the absorption of liquids and fats (and the vitamins dissolved in them). Burping is healthy and should not be suppressed. This doesn't mean that you have to burp the alphabet (like my cute little niece could pull off after swallowing enough air), but if there is undue pressure, it's got to come out one way or another. If it comes out early in the process, it may be healthier than suppressing that release and living with the consequences of holding it back.

 

[Evo]

After I started my first job out of college, I celebrated with some friends and some beer. The next day, I was first confronted with a novel question, the answer to which still eludes me: if I fart in my cubicle, can the person in the next cube smell it?

Do the cubicle walls somehow act to contain the fart? Do the ceiling-mounted vents encourage the fart upwards, away from neighbors' noses? I may never know.

I did learn one thing that day, though. That afternoon, I unleashed a suffocating demon of a fart into the closed-cell foam of my office chair. No more than ten seconds later, by some terrible coincidence, the incredibly cute HR girl who did my hiring paperwork showed up at my cubicle to introduce herself and welcome me to the company. All the while, the beast was slowly leaking out, sinking to the floor and filling the cubicle.

I saw it: her nose crinkled. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she withdrew her hand from mine. She looked at me for a second, steadily. Her face betrayed her thoughts: You're a disgusting animal, aren't you? Did you really just fart right in front of me? Good lord, what the hell did you eat? She cut the conversation a bit shorter than you'd expect and left me alone to ponder my abysmal luck.

I never gathered the courage to explain to her that no, I hadn't farted in her presence; that it was just trapped in the cushion from a moment before she arrived. Something tells me that information wouldn't have done much to improve her opinion of me, anyway.

- Warren

too bad they don't let mentors win guru awards, that's got to be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

 

[chroot]

Maybe they could reverse-engineer the formula for cyrus' benefit, and call it Onaeb.

By the same token, I always wondered how much money they could make by relabeling the Where's Waldo? books to Where Isn't Waldo?, subtitled For less-gifted children.

- Warren

 

[turbo]

I did learn one thing that day, though. That afternoon, I unleashed a suffocating demon of a fart into the closed-cell foam of my office chair. No more than ten seconds later, by some terrible coincidence, the incredibly cute HR girl who did my hiring paperwork showed up at my cubicle to introduce herself and welcome me to the company. All the while, the beast was slowly leaking out, sinking to the floor and filling the cubicle.

It could have been worse! She could have said "let me show you how to access 'xyz' system", so you would have had to get out of that chair and she would have sat down it in, unleashing a fresh essence of the person who is you.

 

[Moonbear]

Why do I have a sudden urge to send Warren a case of beer for Christmas?

 

[turbo]

Why do I have a sudden urge to send Warren a case of beer for Christmas?

Make it a heavy beer, like Guiness Stout, and send along some cheese and nuts. Take out life insurance policies on his family, and you might come out of this ahead.

 

[wolram]

Breaking wind (zirt, fart), like belching (itkerreh), was considered by Arab and Hindoo as an act of purification; for it sought to drive all evil spirits from the body. Zirteh, a loud discharge was highly civil and proper in the company of others; but insidious fesweh (fizzle, creeper), with stench, was regarded as an insult. Many an Arab died because of it, especially when vented in the presence of royalty. Such an individual was termed Fezwaun (Fizzler) whereas his counterpart, a man of purity and esteem, was venerably entitled Eboo-ez-Zirteh (Father of Farts). Simojeh-el-Hewweh (Breaker of Wind) was the appellation granted an Egyptian bean-eater who could break wind in tune, a favourite accomplishment of fellaheen boys.

 

[Cyrus]

After I started my first job out of college, I celebrated with some friends and some beer. The next day, I was first confronted with a novel question, the answer to which still eludes me: if I fart in my cubicle, can the person in the next cube smell it?

Do the cubicle walls somehow act to contain the fart? Do the ceiling-mounted vents encourage the fart upwards, away from neighbors' noses? I may never know.

I did learn one thing that day, though. That afternoon, I unleashed a suffocating demon of a fart into the closed-cell foam of my office chair. No more than ten seconds later, by some terrible coincidence, the incredibly cute HR girl who did my hiring paperwork showed up at my cubicle to introduce herself and welcome me to the company. All the while, the beast was slowly leaking out, sinking to the floor and filling the cubicle.

I saw it: her nose crinkled. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she withdrew her hand from mine. She looked at me for a second, steadily. Her face betrayed her thoughts: You're a disgusting animal, aren't you? Did you really just fart right in front of me? Good lord, what the hell did you eat? She cut the conversation a bit shorter than you'd expect and left me alone to ponder my abysmal luck.

I never gathered the courage to explain to her that no, I hadn't farted in her presence; that it was just trapped in the cushion from a moment before she arrived. Something tells me that information wouldn't have done much to improve her opinion of me, anyway.

- Warren

AAhAHAHAHAAAHA, I am in tears. Thats a great story.

 

[Cyrus]

Maybe they could reverse-engineer the formula for cyrus' benefit, and call it Onaeb.

By the same token, I always wondered how much money they could make by relabeling the Where's Waldo? books to Where Isn't Waldo?, subtitled For less-gifted children.

- Warren

AHAHHAHAHAH, ahahhaahha

 

[gravenewworld]

Absolutely nothing ties up my intestines more than a lot of milk and dairy products. However, it is good to know that I have a WMD at my disposal whenever I want by chugging a big glass of milk . Sometimes it is just fun to eat a lot of dairy products on purpose.

 

[Moonbear]

Absolutely nothing ties up my intestines more than a lot of milk and dairy products. However, it is good to know that I have a WMD at my disposal whenever I want by chugging a big glass of milk . Sometimes it is just fun to eat a lot of dairy products on purpose.

Aha! Now we have the answer! You're not angry, just gassy!

I think I'd die if I ever developed an intolerance or allergy to milk...I just love milk too much to ever be able to give it up.