Send Yourself an Encouraging Message: High School Edition

[FayeKane]

A three-sentence message. And nothing about Microsoft stock either, a PERSONAL message.

Mine would be:

1) The reason you're different, odd, weird, and peculiar is that you're smarter than exactly 99.7% of the people in the world.

2) Don't pay any attention to mom; she's crazy.

3) Sex isn't "animalistic"; it's happy and good and wonderful.

-- faye kane, homeless brain

 

[Blenton]

Don't forget to pick up some milk at the shops.

 

[Artman]

Try out for drama club. I know there are only girls in drama club, but trust me, you will look back and kick yourself for not seeing that as an opportunity. Oh and, no matter what, skip phys ed on Wednesday, November 13, 1974!

 

[disregardthat]

Inform USA right away about something terrible is coming their way!

And seriously, never buy stocks in 2008.

+ various fun-facts to impress your friends with

 

[Monocerotis]

Pick these lottery numbers for this lottery on this day.

retire @ 15

 

[Jimmy]

1) Take all the math and physics classes you can.

2) Buy a telescope instead of an Atari 2600.

3) Lock the bathroom door!

 

[Dadface]

1.Unless you change your ways you will end up as a loathsome buffoon,an intolerable rascal,a contemptible,selfish, unfeeling dog,a dunghill......
2.Oh, so you didn't change your ways then?

 

[BobG]

1) When mom asks, "If all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?", don't be a smart ***! Yes, that seems like a truly stupid question where she's posed a scenario that would never, ever happen in real life, but one day ... at the end of a rafting trip, you'll be standing towards the end of a line of a bunch of idiots, waiting to jump off a 30 foot cliff into the river thinking, "Why didn't I use a life line for that question?! I should have dialed a friend!"

2) Three in Roman numerals can be written as IIV and eight can be written as IIX. Knowing that makes it so much easier to do squares and square roots in your head.

3) Do NOT let your little sister lend out the "M" encyclopedia. You don't know her friend yet, and it's no skin off of your sister's nose, but lending out that encyclopedia is going to ruin the life of two of her brothers. One will go through school never being able to do reports on any state that starts with "M", never learn about Molybdenum, never learn about the Michelson-Morley experiment, and never learn how to build a meth lab. The other will have to marry the friend in order to retrieve and return the encyclopedia to its rightful place in our bookcase.

 

[physics girl phd]

Don't ever go around saying you want to die young and childless.

 

[Moonbear]

1. When your best friend's mom, a hairdresser with only old-lady customers, offers to give you a new haircut, DON'T let her! The consequences will be emblazoned in school yearbook photos for all eternity!

2. Don't bother trying so hard in gym class; your knees will thank you later.

3. Don't worry about being a bit pudgy in high school...THAT type of baby fat goes away and turns into curves, the skinny ones ballooned out and never lost the other kind of baby fat after the first pregnancy.

 

[waht]

1. Do exactly what you have been doing.

2. Don't drive into people ...

3. Hey you moron, remember that girl from history class? yes, yes her. well guess what? she is really intoooo yoouuuu.

 

[mgb_phys]

Don't buy betamax

 

[BobG]

Don't buy betamax

Figures the person that would post this would be the same person that didn't understand the instructions.

Do you own a Mac?

 

[S_Happens]

Even though you can successfully sleep through all your classes, you will regret it later.

Really make the best of that wonderful intellectual resource that is your grandmother (resources don't last forever).

It's just scotopic sensitivity (documented since the 5th grade but nobody told you); pick up some books with unbleached paper and discover your love of reading again.

 

[Ghost803]

1) Take all A.P. classes, and if you try you can get into Harvard.

2) That girl you like in Latin is asexual(.2% of the population with no sex drive.), so don't even waste your time.

3) Your family is dysfunctional, just ignore them and try to get into a good college and good job.

 

[ideasrule]

Go buy that PS3.

Don't pour water on your computer just to see what happens.

That argon is cheap and you can make plenty of sodium with it. Buy it!

 

[mgb_phys]

Figures the person that would post this would be the same person that didn't understand the instructions.

Do you own a Mac?

It's a joke from the greatest work of english literature (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0552137030/?tag=pfamazon01-20) where one of the prophecies of a 17th century witch is to "note buye ye betamacks"

 

[BobG]

Don't pour water on your computer just to see what happens.

Just on the keyboard or onto the computer, itself.

A keyboard should definitely be able to withstand water, coke, coffee, and/or spaghetti sauce being spilled on it. Of course, you do have to take the keyboard apart and dry it if you want to start reusing it right away (and I think wiping the crud off would be mandatory, anyway).

Since a popular location for computers is below the desk, the computer itself should be able to withstand having liquids spilled on it. Granted, part of that protection could be no vents in the top of the case and side vents angled outward to prevent liquids from actually entering the case.

Doing something to intentionally bypass the safeguards, such turning your computer on its side and pouring water into the vents could be a bad idea, but every well desig

 

[turbo]

1) Buy that '59 Strat as soon as it is offered to you for $100.
2) Don't let someone else buy it, then sell it to you for $150 as soon as you smarten up and "need" the Strat.
3) If you finally figured out #2 after ignoring #1, DO NOT trade that guitar for that black Les Paul Custom, even with a $300 kicker. You will regret it for the rest of your life - especially when you see '59 Strats trading at $40K+ (Dumbass!)

 

[JasonRox]

Hi Jason Rox,

I was going to send you a helpful message that can help you in the future, but then I realized that you wouldn't take the advice anyways cause you "already" know best at 14. So forget it.

Bye,

Jason Rox

 

[turbo]

Hi Jason Rox,

I was going to send you a helpful message that can help you in the future, but then I realized that you wouldn't take the advice anyways cause you "already" know best at 14. So forget it.

Bye,

Jason Rox

Good one!

 

[Sorry!]

1) Don't skip class...
2) Do your damn assignments.
3) Don't get drunk in library during school.

 

[Kronos5253]

1)Try harder in school! I know homework sucks and you feel like you shouldn't have to do it because you understand the material, but it's important damnit!

2)Don't waste so much time on that girl. It turns out bad anyway.

3)Since I know you're going to ignore #2 anyway, don't waste so much time being heartbroken when you break up. 3 years after you graduate you'll meet your soul mate, and trust me she's perfect. So all will end well. (Just remember to let her know that you will be there if she decides to break up with him! Things will go much smoother)

4)Stop being so depressed. You're smart, you're funny, and you've got a good head on your shoulders. You've got nothing to be depressed about, and all you do is bring everyone else down with you. Cheer up!

5) Oct. 3, 2006, don't drink so much Jager. Trust me on this one.

 

[Kronos5253]

Hi Jason Rox,

I was going to send you a helpful message that can help you in the future, but then I realized that you wouldn't take the advice anyways cause you "already" know best at 14. So forget it.

Bye,

Jason Rox

Haha nice! And a good point.

 

[Kronos5253]

1) Buy that '59 Strat as soon as it is offered to you for $100.
2) Don't let someone else buy it, then sell it to you for $150 as soon as you smarten up and "need" the Strat.
3) If you finally figured out #2 after ignoring #1, DO NOT trade that guitar for that black Les Paul Custom, even with a $300 kicker. You will regret it for the rest of your life - especially when you see '59 Strats trading at $40K+ (Dumbass!)

Oh man that sucks.. I'd be kicking myself in the *** for that one too...

 

[arunma]

Hmm, mine would go something like this:

1.) Do not under any circumstances take any physics or decide to major in physics. It will exponentially supress your employability, and the only advantage you'll have is that you'll know what "exponentially supressed" means.

2.) If you didn't listen to 1., then when you go to grad school do something that doesn't involve any computer programming whatsoever. You'll end up without a faculty position, and with a job that involves programming a damn computer for the rest of your life.

 

[turbo]

Oh man that sucks.. I'd be kicking myself in the *** for that one too...

Hindsight is a huge come-down. I bought and sold guitars and amplifiers on the side to supplement my income in college, and there is very little that I can actually fault myself for, apart for the inability to foretell the future. I traded that Strat for a "Fretless Wonder" LP plus $300 bucks and some other inducements. I traded the LP for two high-end Rickenbackers with MOP inlays, etc. I sold one of the Ricks for every penny of what I had in the both of them and traded the other (a 12-string with shark-fin fret markers) for a really minty blonde Telecaster and a late-60's Princeton Reverb plus an SG standard with a Bigsby Trem. Some of those deals just went on and on. I put in a lot of time and effort getting to know the jazz, blues, rock, country players all around campus and the surrounding towns (and back in my old stomping grounds), and I always had a small dedicated market in mind when a good deal presented itself.

I can't tell you how many Melody-Makers I picked up and flipped for little profit 'way before Joan Jett came along, and made them popular. Also, lots of folks associated Jimmy Page with really potent amps, and didn't realize that when he was recording, he was often pushing the envelope with little amps (like cheap Supros) to get a big sound. Did you know that Clapton and Duane Allman recorded the studio version of the "Layla" album with little Fender Champs? One of the biggest-sounds I ever got on harp was back-miking a tiny tweed Harvard pointed into a corner of a cellar wall, using a Shure M57 to feed the board, and a really cheap no-name mic to play the harp into.

 

[Kronos5253]

Hindsight is a huge come-down. I bought and sold guitars and amplifiers on the side to supplement my income in college, and there is very little that I can actually fault myself for, apart for the inability to foretell the future. I traded that Strat for a "Fretless Wonder" LP plus $300 bucks and some other inducements. I traded the LP for two high-end Rickenbackers with MOP inlays, etc. I sold one of the Ricks for every penny of what I had in the both of them and traded the other (a 12-string with shark-fin fret markers) for a really minty blonde Telecaster and a late-60's Princeton Reverb plus an SG standard with a Bigsby Trem. Some of those deals just went on and on. I put in a lot of time and effort getting to know the jazz, blues, rock, country players all around campus and the surrounding towns (and back in my old stomping grounds), and I always had a small dedicated market in mind when a good deal presented itself.

I can't tell you how many Melody-Makers I picked up and flipped for little profit 'way before Joan Jett came along, and made them popular. Also, lots of folks associated Jimmy Page with really potent amps, and didn't realize that when he was recording, he was often pushing the envelope with little amps (like cheap Supros) to get a big sound. Did you know that Clapton and Duane Allman recorded the studio version of the "Layla" album with little Fender Champs? One of the biggest-sounds I ever got on harp was back-miking a tiny tweed Harvard Reverb pointed into a corner of a cellar wall, using a Shure M57 to feed the board, and a really cheap no-name mic to play the harp into.

True, and you had a pretty good reason as to why in any case. Although it must feel at least somewhat good to know that you had your hands on so many amazing guitars, even if only for a brief time!

P.S. - Actually yes I did know that about Eric Clapton and Duane Allman. They're 2 of my fav guitarists of all time, and I've actually tried to replicate the sound of that song.. Didn't quite work out the way I'd hoped, but it wasn't bad haha I was impressed when I heard that though. Goes to show that bigger isn't always better.

 

[FayeKane]

DO NOT trade that guitar for that black Les Paul Custom, even with a $300 kicker. You will regret it for the rest of your life - especially when you see '59 Strats trading at $40K+ (Dumbass!)

Yeah, I should have added another one for me:

when you abandon so-called "humanity" to be a hermit, dump the complex analysis book instead, and save the 1-st edition 1-st printing of 2001: A Space Odyssey signed by Clarke in Colombo that includes two handwritten letters he sent you in reply to your letters, and their hand-addressed envelopes with Ceylon stamps that have real Arthur C. Clarke DNA on them.

It will be worth a fortune after he dies waaaay in 2008.

-faye

 

[Topher925]

I would tell myself to drop 80 pounds, try harder in school, and go into physical chemistry instead of engineering. Oh, and stay far far away from that crazy girl whos wants your lads on her fire place mantle.

 

[WhoWee]

1.) Wear your glasses - you really can't see the blackboard better by squinting.
2.) Don't pretend you're sick for 3 weeks - you'll get a little behind in Chemistry.
3.) Listen to the guidance counselor in 11th grade - she was right.

 

[FayeKane]

Generalized, the answers I see most frequently here and on my blog are:

1) Take education more seriously

2) Pay more attention to people who know WTF is going on

3) Go after that girl

 

[hypatia]

Dear Hypatia,
Do not fall in love with a guy named John. Continue to be yourself, enjoy the adventures that the future holds.

 

[Jasongreat]

Dear Hypatia,
Do not fall in love with a guy named John. Continue to be yourself, enjoy the adventures that the future holds.

That must've been one hell of a bad john to make you write off all other johns. Woops that doesn't read like it sounded in my head, I meant guy's named john.

 

[rootX]

Enjoy every single moment.
Your troubles are not real.