Help name 78,216 little black ants, please

[Math Is Hard]

Or give me your ideas for getting rid of them. They are really bad this summer - it's like we have some strain of genetically modified super-ant.
Usually, I put the cat's food inside a small bowl and then put that in a larger dish filled with water so the ants can't get to it. These suckers actually float across to the food and float back!

 

[Evo]

I use those enclosed ant baits that kill the whole colony. They work well and my cats don't bother the baits.

Sounds like you have some Viking ants.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I have found that if you place the poison directly in the path of the ants [out of reach of the cats of course], and then add little trail of jelly placed around and in the bait, the ants should be gone in a day. Often our ants ignore the traps otherwise.

 

[The Bob]

Little Black 1;
Little Black 2;
Little Black 3;
etc. (usw.)

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[jimmy p]

Well in Turkey we had a minor ant infestation. We found that setting fire to them did the trick.

 

[holly]

Leave those ants alone! They could be trying to spell out a message to you. Bless their little ant hearts! I just coexist with mine.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Thanks everyone - I appreciate the advice. Evo and Ivan, I will try a combination of your methods. Jelly, huh?
What brand of bait works best? I have had the most success with a brand called Terro so far.
The Bob, you are usually more creative, but hey, I guess it IS an awfully long list.
Jimmy P thanks for your idea, but I am afraid setting fire to them will be quite impractical in my situation!
And yes, Holly, they ARE trying to send me a message. Spelled out in perfect block lettering on the kichen floor this morning was

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

 

[Evo]

You could get an ant eater.

 

[chroot]

I hear they're on sale at Sears. They'll even throw in a little ant-eater sweater for free.

- Warren

 

[Entropy]

- it's like we have some strain of genetically modified super-ant.

That gives me a devilishly evil idea... Mwhahaha!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Oh, my goodness - an Anteater!? In a sweater? I wonder what the neighbors would make of that. They already gossip about me for dressing my cat up in little sweaters!

Entropy if you need some genetically modified super Viking ants for your experiments I will be happy to send you some. Please send me back your rejects (stupidest ,weakest ants) so that I may introduce and cross breed them into the ant master race that is currently terrorizing my kitchen.

 

[Evo]

I hear they're on sale at Sears. They'll even throw in a little ant-eater sweater for free.

- Warren

The Sears Semi-Annual Anteater Clearance Sale! I almost forgot!

Math Is Hard, skunks eat ants! Your problems are solved. Maybe Tsunami will throw in a little sweater for it.

If your skunk ever looks like this

http://www.fcps.k12.va.us/StratfordLandingES/Ecology/Mammals/Striped%20Skunk/SKUNK3.jpg

RUN! I just read that skunks can spray up to fifteen feet.

 

[Math Is Hard]

The Sears Semi-Annual Anteater Clearance Sale! I almost forgot!

Math Is Hard, skunks eat ants! Your problems are solved. Maybe Tsunami will throw in a little sweater for it.

NO WAY! That's TOO perfect!
Hey Tsu, send me one of the little stink bombs, would ya?!

 

[chroot]

Once again, PF connects those in need to those in have.

- Warren

 

[Moonbear]

The first place to start is cleaning up every single crumb those ants could possibly find to munch. They seem to always especially love cat food (I never had such problems with dogs and dog food, but moved into one apt where there was just a few morsels of cat food that had gotten under the stove and were obviously missed by the cleaning crew, and there was a whole line of ants marching in for it). Well, obviously nobody had cleaned under the stove in a very long time, probably since it had been installed...eeeeeewwwwww! Anyway, I got under there and cleaned out all the crumbs and goo, and I don't know what, did the same for every other nook and cranny, kept all my food in the refrigerator or zipper bags or tight sealing containers, put down ant traps for a week, and they all went away and never came back. You'll probably have to put the cat food down for limited times during the day and keep it sealed up the rest of the day.

Also, if you can find where they are coming in from, seal them out...common places are under sinks or other places where plumbing comes in through walls or from outside. A silicone caulking will work well to fill in gaps.

They also will create an ant trail of chemical markers to lead their friends to the food source. The scrubbing will help with that too...use a good detergent to clean the floors along the trail the ants are following to get rid of their road signs.

And if that doesn't work, how about:
Anne, Bonnie, Clara, Dana, Eve, Fiona, Gloria, Heide, Ingrid, Jeanette, Kim, Lynne, Monica, Nancy, Olivia, Patty, Rosie, Sarah, Tina, Ursula, Vanna, Wilma, Yvette.

That covers 23 of them (couldn't think of names starting with Q, X, or Z). Remember, the ants you're seeing are all workers, and that makes them female, so you have to come up with 78,216 girl names :-)

 

[chroot]

Speaking of chemical trails left by ants... I understand that ants also leave chemical signs to warn other ants of dangers. I've always wondered if you could get rid of ants not by killing them, but just by scaring a bunch of them ****less once or twice.

- Warren

 

[Moonbear]

Math Is Hard, skunks eat ants! Your problems are solved. Maybe Tsunami will throw in a little sweater for it.

Wow, skunks are sounding more and more like the perfect pet! They are content to eat cat food, AND the ants attracted to cat food, plus they provide great perimeter security defense!

 

[Moonbear]

Speaking of chemical trails left by ants... I understand that ants also leave chemical signs to warn other ants of dangers. I've always wondered if you could get rid of ants not by killing them, but just by scaring a bunch of them ****less once or twice.

- Warren

Or do what I do. When you kill them, make sure you leave a few of the bodies lying around to warn their friends what will happen to them if they dare enter your territory! Or leave an antenna in a box at the entrance of their ant hill

 

[Evo]

Here is some of what skunks eat: beetles, grasshoppers, crickets, caterpillars, ants, bees, wasps, earthworms, milllipedes, centipedes, crayfish, snails, slugs, and small snakes.

They are content to eat cat food, AND the ants attracted to cat food, plus they provide great perimeter security defense!

What a wonderful animal.

Tsunami, I will take all of your skunks!

 

[Tsu]

They're on the way!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Ivan! Tsu!
Here's your new business: mail order skunks!

Moonbear, for names I was thinking: Ant Jemima, Antie Mame, Antie Em, Ant Esther(from Sanford and Son), Ant Igone (for the classical Greek theme)...? How 'bout that?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Math Is Hard, skunks eat ants! Your problems are solved. Maybe Tsunami will throw in a little sweater for it.

Tsunami, did you knit those little coasters yourself that Ivan threw at the skunk? If so, you could easily transform them into little skunk sweater vests. Wouldn't that be cute? They'd all look like IBM employees!

 

[Moonbear]

Ivan! Tsu!
Here's your new business: mail order skunks!

Moonbear, for names I was thinking: Ant Jemima, Antie Mame, Antie Em, Ant Esther(from Sanford and Son), Ant Igone (for the classical Greek theme)...? How 'bout that?

LOL! That's great!
Along that theme, how about:
Ant Elope
Antie Matter
Ant Arctica
Antie Trust
Ant Misbehavin (Ain't Misbehavin')


With thousands and thousands of them to name, you can group them into clubs, each with their own themed names. I think for the ones swimming across the cat food moat, they should be named after Olympic swimmers and divers.

 

[Math Is Hard]

That's beautiful, Moonbear!

 

[The Bob]

The Bob, you are usually more creative, but hey, I guess it IS an awfully long list.

I apologise erm... a lot. (<---- there must be a longer word for this).

Let me think ..................
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................
...................

I know!




Little Black 4;
Little Black 5;
Little Black 6;
Little Black 7;
etc. (usw.)

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Artman]

You could call them all "Pat."

Pat would be the perfect name. It can work for males or females and if you need to call just one you can use it's last name, Pat Smith, Pat Jones, etc.

Of course, this means you have to come up with last names too.

Oh well, I'll think about it some more.

If you need to count them, just count their legs and divide by 6.

 

[DarkAnt]

RAID lots and lots of RAID! If that doesn't work, use the combination of raid and a lighter, that normally does the trick.

 

[Tsu]

Aw, just be like the government and give them all a number. (You might want to consider skipping the number 666, tho. I mean, who needs an ant like THAT? )

 

[DarkAnt]

that ant is red and runs around with a little pitch fork

 

[Monique]

LOL! That's great!
Along that theme, how about:
Ant Elope
Antie Matter
Ant Arctica
Antie Trust
Ant Misbehavin (Ain't Misbehavin')

HEY! You stole my idea
here I go anyway .. how about these clever names:

Aganism, Idote, Ecede, Hem, Ediluvian, Iquated, Hropologist, Iclimax, Ipathy, Hropoid, Ecedent, Ithesis, Hology, Iseptic, Hropomorphic.

 

[Tsu]

Aganism, Idote, Ecede, Hem, Ediluvian, Iquated, Hropologist, Iclimax, Ipathy, Hropoid, Ecedent, Ithesis, Hology, Iseptic, Hropomorphic.

Gezundheit.

 

[The Bob]

Put Potassium Permangenat in the hole and the area then add Glycerin to it and listen for the popping. Have a fire bucket ready.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Njorl]

First, I find out where they come in. I catch a few of them. I get some toothpicks and make tiny crosses. I then crucify the captured ants and place them at the entryway. This doesn't keep the ants out, but it does keep me busy.

Njorl

 

[Math Is Hard]

Thanks for those clever name suggestion, guys. (Monique, some of those are going to be quite challenging to pronounce!)
After some reflection on the matter, I have decided to name the first 17 of them after ex-boyfriends, then I'll just repeat the sequence. Makes it more fun when I step on them.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Njorl and Bob, yer scarin' me!