Worst Chat Up Lines: What Are Yours?

[Adrian Baker]

Worst chat up lines...

Having read Photon's 'Conversation starters... awkward silence' thread I got thinking about the WORST chat up lines you have ever heard or used.

How about - "Get your coat - you've pulled"?

 

[tribdog]

Hey, baby. I'm a chat room stud. Used to suffer from premature exclamations, but now I'm good for several oralgasms. Wanna connect?

 

[dduardo]

Pull my finger...

 

[Math Is Hard]

"aww..c'mon... I just got out of jail..."

 

[BoulderHead]

I've got this festering pustule...

 

[Math Is Hard]

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

 

[dekoi]

My name is Shaniquao and i have a llama named Tina.

 

[matthyaouw]

ooh but I know so many!

"is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven?"
"nice shoes, let's f***"
"you must be exhausted... you've been running through my mind all day!"
[glance at girl, glance at own penis, repeat three or four times] "It's not going to suck itself..."

not that I've ever used any of these you understand...
The side of my face isn't covered in bruises from repetative slaps at all, nor does my hair smell of the alcohol of a thousand drinks thrown in my face...

 

[Chi Meson]

"Wait, I can help! hold this against it. Apply lots of pressure, I'll use my belt for a tourniquet. OK, NO! keep pressure on until the bleeding stops. No no it'll be alright. Stay awake! Stay awake! *slap*slap*slap* Stay awake! Can you hear me? Are you doing anything on Friday?"

 

[Gokul43201]

"If I told you you've got a great body, would you hold it against me ?"

 

[The Bob]

"Can I have your number because I lost mine"

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Evo]

Here are two lines that I won't forget.

"Every guy in the men's restroom is talking about your legs"

"My friends and I just wanted to say "thank you" for being here"

 

[tribdog]

Wow, you look exactly like my sister. Wanna play house?

 

[dekoi]

Wow, you look exactly like my sister. Wanna play house?

 

[Artman]

I've asked all of your friends and they won't go out with me, how about you?

One I heard Colin Mockry (SP?) say on Whose Line Is It Anyway, "Currently, I'm disease free."

 

[fourier jr]

-- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.
-- Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
-- You must be from Tennessee, because you're the only "10" I see!
-- Nice dress. It would look even better crumpled up in a corner of my room.
-- Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? I keep seeing myself in your pants.
-- Pardon me, miss, I seem to have lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?
-- Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Huberta?
-- That dress looks great on you. As a matter of fact, so would I.
-- Hey baby, you want to see something swell?
-- Was your father a farmer? You sure have grown some nice melons!
-- You know what would look good on you? Me!
-- Would you like Gin and platonic, or would you prefer Scotch and sofa?
-- Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
-- If I follow you home, will you keep me?
-- I'd like to name your legs "Thanksgiving" and "Christmas." Would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?
-- Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your teeth. Mind if I lick it off?
-- Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
-- Excuse me, is your dress felt? No? Would you like it to be?
-- Wanna play gynaecologist?
-- Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth?
-- You know what I like about you? My arms.
-- Will it bother you if I sleep in the nude?

from
http://www.maledicta.org/

 

[jimmy p]

"Here's 10p, phone your mum and tell her you're not coming home tonight."

"Your eyes are like spanners, every time you look at me my nuts tighten."

"You're ugly but you intrigue me."

 

[jimmy p]

"I may not be a Flintstone but I could sure make your bed rock"

 

[Artman]

"You're ugly but you intrigue me."

That will get her hot alright!

-- Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Huberta?

Would be a kick in the head if it was.

 

[Moses]

-You see how beuatiful the moon is, with one kick i can make you reach there..

-You see all this grass, if you were a donkey you will eat all of it.

 

[jimmy p]

"Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven?"

Man "Back to my place for pizza and sex?"
Woman "no thanks"
Man "What's the matter, don't you like pizza then?"

"Lets play army, I lay on the bed and you blow the hell outta me"

 

[photon]

Is that a zit?

 

[Gokul43201]

This one works well on blondes () : "You're pretty as a picture and I'd love to hang you."

 

[tribdog]

Hi, my name's tribdog

 

[jimmy p]

Hi, my name's tribdog

Jeez that is terrible. I think that one should go to chat-up line Hell.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Do you have any Irish in you?
Would you like to?

 

[Adrian Baker]

We had a talk at school this week from a woman living with Aids. She was a very impressive speaker who has had the infection for 13 years - she is very ill now and doesn't expect to live long. One of the kids asked her about relationships - did she date, have sex etc, and did she tell prospective partners about her illness?

"Yes to all of those" she said, "but I find you need to be subtle".

"I find that saying, 'Hi, I'm Emma - I have Aids' puts a few people off"!

A real eye-opening and exciting speaker who made her audience laugh and smile, at the same time as teaching them about something very awful... but what a chat up line!

 

[Artman]

I'd ask you 'You're place or mine' except I'm living in my car right now.

I'd love to ask you back to my place, but my wife is home.

I'd ask you back to my place, but my mom gets really upset when I have girls over after dark.

Mom says I shouldn't date dirty girls, but would you like to go out?

 

[Monique]

The tram just breaked, you felt that?

 

[Moses]

You know you are hot and i want your phone numebr and to go out with you
[ some high-heels attack is predicted...i guess]

 

[gazzo]

I didn't know fat chicks could dance!

 

[Adrian Baker]

you don't sweat much for a fat lass...

 

[franznietzsche]

Do you have any Irish in you?
Would you like to?

Love that one. But maybe I'm partial.

 

[tribdog]

You aren't a cop are you?

 

[Tsu]

You're a keen bi*ch
<gets slapped>
WHAT? I said you're keen...

This was an actual exchange with a Scottish friend of ours (fresh off the boat) and his first American-woman date.