Badly Need Honest Advice to make an informed decision on my future in Physics

[Slimy0233]

This is going to be long, but I request you to read it completely.

I finished my Bachelor's 1.5 years ago and it in 2022, I started studying, but I have been having issues with my family and I had to work part time while I was doing this. I had to care for my ailing grandparents and I many other responsibilities. But, the fact remains, that out of 7 topics I had to cover for my JAM exam I have covered 2, but I have covered them well. I consider myself a mild perfectionist, i.e., If I don't do something really well, I won't do it at all. This has bite me badly in the past, but it's one of my compulsive behaviors. I have solved a lot of questions from the two topics. Well, but I am facing a conundrum right now. I have exams in 108 days and I have to study an insane amount of syllabus. Now, I am thinking I skip Classical Mechanics and Thermodynamics (I have bad lecturers for this) and study the rest well in order to get a good university in exams and then I am planning on reading Classical Mechanics and Thermo between Feb 2024 and June 2024 before I get into my MSc so I have a good foundation on which I have to start my MSc. Does this make sense until here? Does this seem realistic? Also, how much would one be able to study in Masters? I mean, I have learned the two topics well and I am pretty sure I would be able to study a good amount of syllabus before June 2024. After which my MSc would start at a NIT where I would spend 2 more years learning Physics and writing a thesis. Is this good amount of Physics knowledge to start a PhD and succeed and go on to have a career in research or am I deemed to fail?

Financial Status:

My father is ill and is quitting he is quitting his job in a few weeks. He is so ill that I can't expect him to fund me for more than 2 years. But he won't tolerate me sitting at home for one more year studying for an entrance exam. I am going to get an NIT for sure this year, but I am not sure if a MSc done in NIT would be taken well in Europe. NIT is somewhat a lesser version of IITs, it has less prestige, less research being done and generally less reputation. I am afraid, I am stuck with an NIT. I can do my Masters here but I don't want to continue to do my PhD in India as the PhD's here are typically 5 years long and I have heard reviews which don't paint a rosy picture. I want to be able to do my PhD in Europe after having done my MSc in NIT, is this going to be a problem due to the institute's reputation or would the professor's pay more attention to other important factors like my thesis and recommendations?

The Top NITs are ranked 600-800 in QS university rankings for Engineering Education, the rank for Science education is lower.
https://www.topuniversities.com/universities/national-institute-technology-rourkelaOther Questions:

How hard would it be to write a great Master's thesis? How hard would it be to write a great PhD thesis in Physics? I am creative, especially when it comes to Physics, would this help me write a good thesis?

The alternative:

A friend of mine urged me to do an MBA and just get done with my education. I felt like he had a point, although I have to take a lot of loans, I would be done in two years and I would be making good money, I would have a life. But, I don't feel this is fulfilling. I have always dreamed of becoming a physicist since I was little and I still want to, but this maybe the time to call it quits and kill that dream. But, if I continue with my current trajectory of inefficiency, the consequences for me would be worse.

The Challenge:
Which is why I made a bet with my friend to quit if I don't stop being inefficient in 1 month, I will quit Physics. I have all the incentive there can be to stop this and if I don't in 1 month, well, I doubt if I would make a great Physicist after all and it's time to call it quits.

Now, even if I win the challenge, I am not sure if I struggle for the next 7 years (2 year MSc + 5 years PhD) if I would find that fulfilling either. My life has been a constant struggle for all these years, I might just want to settle! I do not know. Am I signing up for more misery if I go ahead with my Physics Career?

Also, and this is very important as I feel like I would need a change of scenery after finishing my PhD, how hard/easy would it be to find a career in Academia abroad, in Europe after doing your PhD in an Indian institute like IISc? Would a postdoc help me?

Also, if I take another year drop and would try to go the best institute, how would this seem on my resume? I realize these are a lot of questions, so I request you answer some if not all of it.

 

[Dale]

I finished my Bachelor's 1.5 years ago and it in 2022, I started studying, but I have been having issues with my family and I had to work part time while I was doing this. I had to care for my ailing grandparents and I many other responsibilities. But, the fact remains, that out of 7 topics I had to cover for my JAM exam I have covered 2, but I have covered them well.

Are you sure you actually want to go into physics? The reason I ask is because studying two topics out of seven over 1.5 years indicates a lack of effort in physics. You have had other needs and priorities, but while physics seems to “call” to you, it doesn’t “call” strongly enough to make you invest the necessary level of effort to succeed.

A lot of people talk about following your passion, which is really dumb advice. Passion is only useful if it generates effort. With many people their passion drives effort, but not everyone. With you, it sounds like physics may be a passion that doesn’t lead you to sustained and intense effort.

So what do you spend effort on? What do you enjoy spending effort on?

 

[Slimy0233]

So what do you spend effort on? What do you enjoy spending effort on?

I like Physics, but for some reason I haven't been able to do this. Which is why my friend gave me a 30 day Ultimatum, if it doesn't work out, I QUIT! More than the love of Physics, I am paralyzed by the world around me and the unfairness of it all. But, yes, I can't blame anymore, I am the one responsible.

 

[Dale]

Ok, so physics sounds like a hobby rather than a career for you. So what do you spend effort on and enjoy spending lots of effort on?

 

[Slimy0233]

Ok, so physics sounds like a hobby rather than a career for you. So what do you spend effort on and enjoy spending lots of effort on?

I do love Physics, but I fixated on few subjects and completing them. I solve way too many questions on some subjects and way too few for some other. Time management seems to be the problem.

 

[Dale]

I do love Physics, but I fixated on few subjects and completing them. I solve way too many questions on some subjects and way too few for some other. Time management seems to be the problem.

Regardless of what the problem is, 2 out of 7 topics in 1.5 years indicates a hobby level of effort, not a career level of effort.

So, for the third time, what do you enjoy spending lots of effort on?

I think at this point I am done. I had to ask you 3 times for a specific point of feedback. Frankly, I wish you well, but I haven’t the energy to repeat myself so much.

Think about what you actually enjoy spending hard effort doing. Then think about how you can turn that into a career. Follow your effort (not sure what that is despite asking 3 times), don’t follow your passion (physics, it doesn’t lead you to sufficient effort).

Best wishes

 

[Frabjous]

I am creative, especially when it comes to Physics

You do not actually know this. Research is different than solving undergraduate problem sets.

 

[Slimy0233]

Regardless of what the problem is, 2 out of 7 topics in 1.5 years indicates a hobby level of effort, not a career level of effort.

So, for the third time, what do you enjoy spending lots of effort on?

I think at this point I am done. I had to ask you 3 times for a specific point of feedback. Frankly, I wish you well, but I haven’t the energy to repeat myself so much.

Think about what you actually enjoy spending hard effort doing. Then think about how you can turn that into a career. Follow your effort (not sure what that is despite asking 3 times), don’t follow your passion (physics, it doesn’t lead you to sufficient effort).

Best wishes

I am sorry sir, I realize you were trying to help me and I was defending myself from a sin I am guilty of. I am really sorry. I usually spent my time downloading the videos I was going to watch, making my system work best for my needs, scraping pdf from textbook and making notes from it so I can study from it, sometimes watching videos, helping my grandparents and attending some functions my family forced me into. One can't make a career out of any of this I am afraid, at least it won't be fulfilling. Most of the times I just was dragged into a spiral of watching videos and playing chess. I am sorry for myself. I have abandoned these activities, I hope it's not too late.

 

[Slimy0233]

Research is different than solving undergraduate problem sets.

What is research? I mean well here, I don't know how to do it. You look at the data an awfully long time, device experiments to prove theoretical assumptions, etc? Please add more

 

[Frabjous]

What is research? I mean well here, I don't know how to do it. You look at the data an awfully long time, device experiments to prove theoretical assumptions, etc? Please add more

1) You do not even know what getting an advanced degree means.
2) It is not clear that you will be happy even if you get one.
3) You want to get there via a non-standard method.
4) The method you have chosen is extremely difficult, and you have been told this multiple times.
5) You are already making excuses on not being able to follow the non-standard method.
6) The idea that past performance is not indicative of future performance is naive.
7) It is time for you to grow up and put yourself on a path that has a reasonable chance of success.

 

[Slimy0233]

1) You do not even know what getting an advanced degree means.
2) It is not clear that you will be happy even if you get one.
3) You want to get there via a non-standard method.
4) The method you have chosen is extremely difficult, and you have been told this multiple times.
5) You are already making excuses on not being able to follow the non-standard method.
6) The idea that past performance is not indicative of future performance is naive.
7) It is time for you to grow up and put yourself on a path that has a reasonable chance of success.

I don't know anything which gave me fulfillment other than Physics. I don't know what else I am going to do! But I thank you for your help and your advice.

 

[Frabjous]

I don't know anything which gave me fulfillment other than Physics. I don't know what else I am going to do! But I thank you for your help and your advice.

You are not currently doing physics. You are reading about it and solving puzzles. The idea the becoming a physicist will fullfill you is naive. Fullfillment comes from within.

 

[Slimy0233]

You are not currently doing physics. You are reading about it and solving puzzles. The idea the becoming a physicist will fullfill you is naive. Fullfillment comes from within.

Last question and I really need your answer to this, what do you mean by fulfillment comes from within, you mean we should find it within ourselves? Nothing from outside will give us fulfillment? I want to read more about this.

 

[Slimy0233]

@Dale & @Frabjous is there a way I can make money from what I am passionate from without actually doing it? Sorry @Dale sir for bringing you back into the conversation. I really am apologetic about not initially having answered your question.

Maybe, I can be a Science Journalist. After I finish my Masters? If you are really passionate about Physics but are in my position, how can you make money from it? I don't know if I will ever find fulfillment, but I feel like physics would be the way for it and that is the reason I am chasing it.

edit: I believe I am depressed. I mean, I always ask myself, what is the meaning of life when I am depressed and I am asking myself that. But, when I am indeed depressed I have two reasons which lift me up
1. If I study Physics really hard, maybe I can get a better quality of living and move to a place where action is
USA/The west generally
2. Maybe I can do something to really help elevate the understanding of Physics. I don't know how small, I want to discover something, something which hasn't been discovered before or aid in that process.

 

[fresh_42]

A lot of people talk about following your passion, which is really dumb advice. Passion is only useful if it generates effort.

A friend of mine used to say: "A genius has a great idea at night. But it takes the day to elaborate on it!"

 

[Dale]

Maybe, I can be a Science Journalist. After I finish my Masters?

Sure. What level of effort do you typically put into writing?

You can make money from lots of different things, but it all takes effort.

I usually spent my time …

I didn’t ask how you spend your time. I asked what you enjoy spending effort on.

Effort is hard focused work. Effort is practice and self improvement and attention to detail. Effort is an athlete pushing themselves to collapse. Effort is a scientist looking up from their measurement to realize everyone else has gone home already. Effort is a carpenter sanding the back of the cabinet. Effort is an author writing for hours and hours when the deadline is still months away.

Success isn’t from passion, it is from effort.

I am not going to ask a fourth time. You know what you need to figure out. It doesn’t sound like you currently spend effort on anything. You need to figure out what you will be able to spend real effort on. Chances are you can be very successful in anything that you will consistently spend a lot of effort on.

Please don’t call me back to the thread.

 

[Slimy0233]

I am not replying to you by actually quoting you. I am not @ ing you, so I am just hoping that if you or someone else stumble across this, they would answer me, (I was writing this message when you replied to my post.)

I beg you! I really am in a bad place. A bad place of my own making but nonetheless, I really wish you could help me, and trust me I want to be helped. I have 2.5 years infront of me, do you think I won't be able to learn enough to be capable of doing a PhD in Physics if I put in my utmost dedication?

 

[fresh_42]

I am not replying to you by actually quoting you. I am not @ ing you, so I am just hoping that if you or someone else stumble across this, they would answer me, (I was writing this message when you replied to my post.)

I beg you! I really am in a bad place. A bad place of my own making but nonetheless, I really wish you could help me, and trust me I want to be helped. I have 2.5 years infront of me, do you think I won't be able to learn enough to be capable of doing a PhD in Physics if I put in my utmost dedication?

You have received advisory and help to the extent we are capable of at PF. I would have answered you, but I think this ...

I believe I am depressed.

..., too. The internet can be a dangerous place for people with depression, and there is definitely no cure on the internet, only repression and distraction. Depression needs to be addressed on a professional level, i.e. on a medical level. Please contact a doctor, seriously!

The fact that you think you are depressed makes any answer in this thread a potential risk to your health.
Therefore, I close this thread.