Cannot find a comfortable side-sleeping position

[DaveC426913]

TL;DR Summary

I cannot find a comfortable side-sleeping position. Where do you put your shoulder?

I used to sleep on my back, in what I called the Dracula position - hands across chest, ankles crossed.
Gaining some weight has caused me to snore, so now I have to find alternate positions.

Let's say it's close to this:

I tend to roll over even further, like a 45 degree angle, so closer to this:

My pillow is plenty thick enough, but I still cannot figure out what to do with my shoulder. It sticks into the bed and lifts my ribcage off the mattress, and puts my humerus in a very awkward position pinned under my chest.

This is exactly what it feels like (but face down). I can totally relate to this guy:

I am seriously considering cutting a ditch in my mattress to give my shoulder and humerus somewhere to sit. But before go to that extreme, how do the rest of you side-sleepers manage??

I am quite frustrated and quite serious about this; it is costing me hours of good sleep.

I may have to whip up some sketches to make it clear.

 

[marcusl]

This was recommended, though I haven’t tried it myself.
https://medcline.com/products/shoulder-relief-pillow

 

[DaveC426913]

This was recommended, though I haven’t tried it myself.
https://medcline.com/products/shoulder-relief-pillow

Yes, that's an alternate, though I'm not find of lying elevated like that.

Especially since I'll likely continue to switch sides in an effort to keep cool. I'm sure it's symmetrical, so can be used left or right, but flipping while sleeping would be quite a production.

 

[marcusl]

You can accomplish something similar, but not as high, with an extra pillow. Otherwise, a trench in the bed might be your best alternative.

 

[Frabjous]

My shoulder is below the front of the pillow.

 

[DrJohn]

Look at the first colour image you show, and live with it.
Admittedly I have a LOT more practice doing that than you, almost guaranteed, as I am old,
Although I do swap between that image and on my back.

 

[berkeman]

I do as in your image, but with the extra pillow mentioned near my chest to rest my uphill arm on. I alternate between right lateral recumbent and on my back, unless the missus pokes me to roll into left lateral recumbent (in her sexy Roll Over! voice).

 

[DaveC426913]

Look at the first colour image you show, and live with it.

What??

Admittedly I have a LOT more practice doing that than you, almost guaranteed, as I am old,

Old is relative. You are guessing at my age.

 

[DaveC426913]

I do as in your image, but with the extra pillow mentioned near my chest to rest my uphill arm on.

I have taken to using a small pillow to rest my downhill arm - wrist, actually - on.

My left forearm will not lie flat on the mattress without over-twisting my shoulder (aeronautically: a roll); so my hand floats off the mattress a few inches. I could rest it on the head rest or wall, but requires raising my arm too much over my head (aeronautically: pitch).

 

[DaveC426913]

My shoulder is below the front of the pillow.

Yes, but surely your ribcage is elevated off the bed. This puts a lot of pressure on your shoulder, even if you head is supported with a pillow.

 

[berkeman]

I have taken to using a small pillow to rest my downhill arm - wrist, actually - on.

Yes, sorry, I should have mentioned that I rest my downhill forearm on my head pillow.

 

[berkeman]

Yes, sorry, I should have mentioned that I rest my downhill forearm on my head pillow.

Which I should mention can be a problem sometimes, with some dreams. I shoot a lot of basketball hoops, and hence that comes up in my dreams sometimes. If I am in the right lateral recumbent position dreaming that I'm making a long 3-pointer like Steph, I sometimes boink out with my right arm which is resting on my pillow and the missus' pillow. Oops...

 

[DrJohn]

I do as in your image, but with the extra pillow mentioned near my chest to rest my uphill arm on. I alternate between right lateral recumbent and on my back, unless the missus pokes me to roll into left lateral recumbent (in her sexy Roll Over! voice).

View attachment 349817

Gasp !
In my reply, I chose to miss out one of those reasons!

 

[DrJohn]

What??


Old is relative. You are guessing at my age.

I assumed the image of someone in bed was you, so we could comment better.
But I am over 70...
No need to state your age of course. Or you could sleep on the thought of telling us, perhaps.

 

[DaveC426913]

I assumed the image of someone in bed was you, so we could comment better.

Just an inage off the innertoobs.

But I am over 70...
No need to state your age of course. Or you could sleep on the thought of telling us, perhaps.

Well you got me beat by a decade at least.

 

[JT Smith]

Yes, but surely your ribcage is elevated off the bed. This puts a lot of pressure on your shoulder, even if you head is supported with a pillow.

Pressure? Gravity is doing its thing for sure but sleeping the way @Frabjous said feels comfortable to me. I can sleep that way on a hard surface even without a pillow. The simple fact is that we're all shaped differently and wired together differently. My wife wouldn't know what to do if she couldn't sleep on her side for some reason. She can't sleep well on her back.

You have to figure out what works for you. Maybe you need a custom formed mattress. Or perhaps a memory foam mattress would work. Or an old school water bed. Or what about gravity boots? Do you think you could sleep upside down like a bat?

 

[DaveC426913]

Pressure? Gravity is doing its thing for sure but sleeping the way @Frabjous said feels comfortable to me. I can sleep that way on a hard surface even without a pillow.

So, start by lying in your side, 90 degrees from flat. Head on pillow. Hips, shoulders, knees vertically aligned.
Now, bring your top knee forward so it is lying on the mattress. You are lying in the shape of a small 'h'.
This will have the effect of rotating your hip toward the mattress. Your shoulders will follow.
To avoid your gut just sort of hanging there, you will settle into about a 45 degree angle.

But your arm will get increasingly caught underneath your chest. There's nowhere for it to go.

No one else has a problem with this? Huh.