Dead Deer Rotting Time: How Long Does it Take?

[Ivan Seeking]

Now that's good thinking!

Integral, we're having another BBQ.

 

[Integral]

Now that's good thinking!

Integral, we're having another BBQ.

Hummm... Yumm...

 

[Moonbear]

Is there a pyromaniac gene on the Y chromosome?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

And it's a little toe, not even a well-endowed toe.

I am well-endowed with an extra foot.

 

[plover]

Hmm, all this just reminds me of the Peter Greenaway movie A Zed and Two Noughts (in which one of the main characters has a mania for making time lapse movies of decaying carcasses).

Also, would this be a good time to mention "http://xenia.media.mit.edu/~solan/dogsinelk/ "?

 

[arildno]

I am well-endowed with an extra foot.

You're lucky in having a whole foot to display on special occasions. Most guys have only inches, you know..

 

[matthyaouw]

How to bury cows, and other large mammals (tried and tested old family method):
1- Assuming your cow is lying on its side (dead), approach it and begin to dig a hole by its back, parallel with its spine.
2- Dig the hole both deep, and wide until satisfied with dimensions.
3- Undermine cow gradually, so that it overhangs the pit.
4- Give cow a gentle shove*, allowing gravity to do the rest. Minimal effort required for such a large beast.
5- Realise hole is in no way big enough for cow in question.
6- Attemt to remove cow.
7- Realise cow weighs a metric tonne.
8- Give up and attempt to bury cow anyway.
9- Pick method according to preference, and orientation of cow:
a) Bury cow anyway, leaving extremely large and conspicuous mound of earth.
b) Fetch saw, and commence removal of upwards pointing legs (most effective if distressed calf is watching from next field, making pitiful noises.) and then bury cow.
10- Dust self off, go for a pint.

*If deer, elk, moose or otherwise, a saw may be required to remove antlers before proceeding.

 

[honestrosewater]

Haha- this is also an effective for collapsing castle walls. Dig a tunnel under a large enough section of the wall, using wooden or other flammable supports. When you're ready, set the supports on fire and run.

 

[SOS2008]

I am well-endowed with an extra foot.

You're lucky in having a whole foot to display on special occasions. Most guys have only inches, you know..

Heh--that's a goodun.

 

[arildno]

Heh--that's a goodun.

On second thoughts, the ladies might not agree that it is a good one?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Moonbear got really quiet didn't she.

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear got really quiet didn't she.

Well, as long as Tsu is happy with it...

 

[Grace]

Ivan,

If you have a vet school within a hundred miles are so, you might want to call them and see if they would like some samples from this deer, with the understanding they are to take care of the remains after getting the samples.

You never know. They are always looking for these types of things to study.

 

[Moonbear]

Grace, I can't think of a single reason that a several (or more) day old, decaying deer carcass would be of use to anyone.

It's just a dead deer, that's all, nothing special, there are lots of deer and they die. Nature has been handling these things for a long time; there's no need to interfere unless it's an inconvenience where it's located.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I called the Oregon Dept of Fish and Wildlife in case they are interested in tracking the spread of the disease, but they said this is everywhere and I'm on my own.

One funny aside here. There was an oil spill in a small creek near Portland yesterday. I think there was one duck killed. Yesterday on the 5PM news they showed a big map with a large caption and arrow: DEAD DUCK HERE

I about died laughing. Talk about a slow news day!

edit: oh yes, on the morning news we were informed that one of the two injured ducks is doing well and preening itself. Thank God!

 

[SOS2008]

I called the Oregon Dept of Fish and Wildlife in case they are interested in tracking the spread of the disease, but they said this is everywhere and I'm on my own.

I knew it -- It's a larger problem than just this one dead deer! (I called once to have a rattle snake removed from my front porch, and the wildlife folks were there about an hour latter--pretty good, huh?) But apparently there would be more concern about diseased deer all over the place if it was in connection to an oil spill. Well now I know I could use my cat for a reflector in Oregon and probably get away with it...

 

[Evo]

I knew it -- It's a larger problem than just this one dead deer! (I called once to have a rattle snake removed from my front porch, and the wildlife folks were there about an hour latter--pretty good, huh?) But apparently there would be more concern about diseased deer all over the place if it was in connection to an oil spill. Well now I know I could use my cat for a reflector in Oregon and probably get away with it...

Ivan, perhaps if you pour oil around the deer and send a photo into the paper it would get some action, of course then your property would make the front page with an arrow pointing to the dear, and you would be overrun with environmentalists and sickos, ok...nevermind.

SOS, we may have to add you into the PF sisterhood, you crack me up. Ever traveled in a supersonic RV? If not, sound like something you'd like to do while dressed as a nun, toting a rifle, and drinking green apple martinis?

 

[SOS2008]

SOS, we may have to add you into the PF sisterhood, you crack me up. Ever traveled in a supersonic RV? If not, sound like something you'd like to do while dressed as a nun, toting a rifle, and drinking green apple martinis?

I'd love that! But I should let you know...the last time I was drinking green apple martinis I started selling tickets to the guys in the valet line to be able to pinch my girlfriend's a**.

 

[Moonbear]

I'd love that! But I should let you know...the last time I was drinking green apple martinis I started selling tickets to the guys in the valet line to be able to pinch my girlfriend' a**.

Yep, she definitely qualifies for the PF sisterhood!

 

[matthyaouw]

A more serious suggetion- have you considered burning the carcass?

 

[arildno]

A more serious suggetion- have you considered burning the carcass?

I would think you need a permit to set fire to something as big as a carcass.

 

[Moonbear]

I would think you need a permit to set fire to something as big as a carcass.

And probably not the wisest idea when living in the midst of trees and other combustible forest litter after a prolonged dry spell, or else the news will have an arrow pointing to Ivan's property that says, "Uncontrolled Forest Fire Started Here," in a split screen view with Ivan's mug shot.

 

[arildno]

And probably not the wisest idea when living in the midst of trees and other combustible forest litter after a prolonged dry spell, or else the news will have an arrow pointing to Ivan's property that says, "Uncontrolled Forest Fire Started Here," in a split screen view with Ivan's mug shot.

You're right; his extra foot won't help him at all then.

 

[SOS2008]

Couldn't you just go to a fishing place, get some 'bait' live maggots, and leave them on the deer?

There may not be parallel universes, but there definitely are parallel threads. In an earlier thread someone mentioned people eating maggots (mmmm maggot munchies), and of course how these are used in medicine. And lo and behold, this is in the news today, entitled "Maggots...coming to a hospital near you":
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7229059/ - I wasn't sure where to post this...maybe in the Strange Things thread...?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

As for burning, when we build a burn pile around here it's usually about the size of a car. We have about two wooded acres and another three that are pasture. As long as the county allows burns on any given day, we can build as large of a fire as we like...up to the size of a house! God help you if it gets out of control.

It seems that I discovered the body too late. It's under a tree and I'm not about to try to drag it to a clear spot. We've decided that our compost pile goes on top of the dead deer now. The old growth tree will love the attention.

Funny but I never expected this thread to make it past a few posts. I guess that a rotting deer carcass is much more interesting than I ever imagined.

 

[Danger]

I'd love that! But I should let you know...the last time I was drinking green apple martinis I started selling tickets to the guys in the valet line to be able to pinch my girlfriend's a**.

Any tickets left? It's been a slow year.

 

[SOS2008]

Any tickets left? It's been a slow year.

I use to be the Account Manager for our Canadian clients (at a company I use to work for) so traveled there all the time. Alberta is beautiful...but I can't imagine the havoc you would wreak in the Valley of the Sun (i.e. scantily-clad females). But then again, you may be too lazy to keep pace...aye?

 

[Moonbear]

I don't think Danger and tribdog should be allowed in the same state...just something tells me they'd get along way too well.

 

[Danger]

I use to be the Account Manager for our Canadian clients (at a company I use to work for) so traveled there all the time. Alberta is beautiful...but I can't imagine the havoc you would wreak in the Valley of the Sun (i.e. scantily-clad females). But then again, you may be too lazy to keep pace...aye?

Patience and ingenuity prevail. One does have to develop new techniques when one must get through half a dozen layers of clothing and a heated bra without waking her up.
I'm not really lazy... I'm a connoisseur of inertia*. Arthritis and emphyzema have slowed me a tad, but my adrenal gland still works. For a very short but critical distance, I can probably run faster horny than you can scared.

*copyright by Bob Barnes ("The Better Half" comic strip sometime in the late 60's.) -- any joke worth laughing at is worth stealing

 

[Moonbear]

One does have to develop new techniques when one must get through half a dozen layers of clothing and a heated bra ...

Heated bra? Did you just make that up, or does such a thing really exist? If it really exists, this sounds like something I really NEED to have! (I'm always cold, and a heated bra sounds like a much more pleasant way to deal with the, um, side effects of that than a padded bra, not to mention I might not be quite so cold then...heck, it might even mean one less layer of clothing is required in winter. )

 

[Danger]

Heated bra? Did you just make that up, or does such a thing really exist?

It doesn't yet, but I think I feel a patent coming on. There are heated socks and mitts, though.
You could save yourself a lot of dressing and undressing if you just go for saline implants and have immersion heaters installed at the same time. Your own personal built-in hot water bottles.

 

[Danger]

(I'm always cold, and a heated bra sounds like a much more pleasant way to deal with the, um, side effects of that than a padded bra)

That's about the only advantage I find in this climate. I just keep my safety glasses on at all times and enjoy the view.

 

[hypermorphism]

Darn, I thought this thread was going to be about how long one can repeatedly apply the rot operator (curl).

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Sorry to cross you like that.

 

[Danger]

Darn, I thought this thread was going to be about how long one can repeatedly apply the rot operator (curl).

Say what?