Embarrassing Mishaps: My Latest Key Fiasco and Office Lockout Adventure

[strangerep]

sometimes it does pay off to read the instructions carefully first

Hmm. I must be ready for engineering old folks home, since I always read instructions now. Sometimes, I even understand them.

 

[LCSphysicist]

I got on the bus. I don't know what happened to my head, but I forgot how I got through the turnstile ! Really, i forgot that i should be like on the fouth quadrant (think in the plane) and then should push the x-axis in the y direction (i am describing the rotation) to pass. So in an act of desperation I turned the turnstile while i was out of it thinking that for some reason I would appear in the other side. Of course I stayed in the same place. The woman who witnessed the act started to laugh, which made me more desperate, so I jumped the turnstile as I couldn't turn anymore, and I ended up getting scolded by the driver and feeling embarrassed

 

[DaveC426913]

I got on the bus.

Sorry. Turnstiles on a bus??

 

[LCSphysicist]

Sorry. Turnstiles on a bus??

Yes. The bus on your country does not have it?

 

[DaveC426913]

Yes. The bus on your country does not have it?

No. Nor have I ever seen a turnstile quite like that.

I've seen these:

But always as a fixture, never on a vehicle.

 

[collinsmark]

Now you're trained.

lefty tighty righty loosey.

Ironically, this SMBC comic was published right around the time [roughly] of the bicycle discussion on this thread:

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/engineer)

 

[DaveC426913]

I've been trying to come up with my own Marine Mnemonic.
Instead of Red, Right, Return
How about: Green, Gauche, Go.

[EDIT] The attorney in my Criminal Negligence cases says I have to stop promulgating this mnemonic.

 

[DaveE]

I've been trying to come up with my own Marine Mnemonic.
Instead of Red, Right, Return
How about: Green, Gauche, Go.

[EDIT] The attorney in my Criminal Negligence cases says I have to stop promulgating this mnemonic.

Yep "red, right, returning" is what we learned in California.
Then, when I started sailing in the south pacific, they taught me a new version: "red, right, wreck on reef".

The next time you think they drive on the wrong side in the UK, remember, we sail on the wrong side here.

 

[BillTre]

Here's mine:
red light, left side, port (short words)
green light, right side, starboard (longer words)

I was a sailor for a while.

 

[DaveE]

Here's mine:
red light, left side, port (short words)
green light, right side, starboard (longer words)

I was a sailor for a while.

I learned this as "the PORT wine LEFT a RED stain".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

For me it was racing a guy in town when I had an open container. We got caught and were pulled over. We had to get out of the car and were interrogated, at which time I admitted I had been drinking.

PS: I quit drinking on my 21st birthday.

 

[collinsmark]

Speaking of maritime fiascos, I'll relate this incident that happened to me about 15 or so years ago.

So I invited a few friends to go sailing on San Diego Bay. I rented a 22 foot sloop from a local sailing club. I was the only one among us who really knew how to sail, so I was pretty much single-handing it. I welcomed anybody to take part if they wanted to, but they were free to sit back and enjoy the sunshine, if they chose. Mostly it was just me at the helm, with the jib sheets tied together with a sheet bend, wrapped around the other side of the mainsheet fiddle system, such that I had full control of the boat without having to move away from the tiller. The weather was excellent, the breeze was good, and we were well stocked with beer and music, so it was easy to just sit back and relax.

Before I continue, I should give a brief summary of the "rules of the road" on the water. The primary, number one rule on the list of rules of the road list for boats -- the rule upon which most of the other rules are based -- is: The least maneuverable vessel has the right-of-way. [Edit: OK, that rule is not speifically on the list, but it's the foundation for the other rules that are on the list; this is a summary after all]. It is for this reason that sailboats (sailing with wind power alone) generally have the right-of-way over power boats, for boats of approximately the same size. That's because power boats are generally more maneuverable. Exceptions include a small sailboat and a large ship: the small sailboat is more maneuverable than the large ship, and besides, the large ship is probably restricted to the channel. Thus the large ship has the right-of-way. Boats restricted to the channel have the right-of-way over small sailboats. Another example is a power boat presently engaged in fishing. If a boat has its engines turned off and fishing lines out, it obviously isn't very maneuverable. It has the right-of-way. You get the idea.

So there we were. 'Beautiful day on the water. And there weren't many other boats out. We pretty much had the whole bay to ourselves. Sailing along, close hauled on a starboard tack, I looked aft and a bit to the port side and noticed one or two small, military boats slowly approaching in the distance, up the center of the bay (i.e., up the channel). I'm not sure if they were Coast Guard or Navy. It was the type of boat that's small, maybe 26 foot, fast, powerful, and more maneuverable than you can shake a stick at. So I didn't change my heading. I had the right-of-way. Looking around some more, trying to keep aware of my surroundings, I didn't notice any other boats in the vicinity.

So a minute or so later, as a friend was handing me a beer, he stopped short, "Oh, sh*t. You should look behind you," he said, mouth gaping. It was that small, military boat just a few feet away now (close enough that with a small stretch I could reach back and touch it), with a large caliber machine gun mounted to the bow. Behind the machine gun was a soldier with his finger near the trigger aiming the machine gun directly at my face. "GET THE F**K OUT OF THE CHANNEL!" Yelled another soldier standing next to him, both looking at me.

For a moment I froze. But it was just a moment. I did not determine whether the boat as Navy or Coast Guard. The only thing I really noticed was this large caliber machine gun pointed directly down my face. "... You got it." I turned to face forward, "Ready about..." I tacked to the right, directly to a beam reach, trying to get the hell away from that situation as fast as I could.

"What a jerk," I grumbled to the passengers, although I was probably talking out loud to myself more than anything. "Sailboats absolutely have as much right to use the channel as any other boats, particularly when there are no large ships around. We even had the right-of-way. Trust me, we didn't do anything HOLY SH*T!" I exclaimed.

Just then a large, nuclear powered submarine surfaced just about 20 or 30 meters behind us, pretty much where we just were. It might have been an Ohio class sub, but I'm not sure. All I know it was big, it was silent, and it was a submarine. I say it was silent, but I do recall it honking at us with its "whistle." "Whistle" is a poor name for this because it's more like a really, really loud fog horn. Suffice it to say it made its point. "H o l y S h * t" is the phrase we all said slowly, pretty much in unison.

"Well, that explains that," I said.

The moral of the story is that if you encounter another boat with machine guns mounted to its bow, no matter how maneuverable it happens to be, stay out of its way.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Mostly it was just me at the helm, with the jib sheets tied together with a sheet bend, wrapped around the other side of the mainsheet fiddle system, such that I had full control of the boat without having to move away from the tiller.

Is this the marine version of Jabberwocky?

 

[Keith_McClary]

There is an ancient (closed) thread

What is the dumbest thing you have done or seen done?​

 

[Ivan Seeking]

There is an ancient (closed) thread

What is the dumbest thing you have done or seen done?​

What? That was only 18 years ago.

 

[DaveE]

The least maneuverable vessel has the right-of-way

Time to review your right of way rules. That's not one of them.
Although I get your drift, yes that a theme, but it's not one of the rules.

 

[collinsmark]

Time to review your right of way rules. That's not one of them.
Although I get your drift, yes that a theme, but it's not one of the rules.

It's like a "golden" rule, so to speak. It's a rule upon which the other rules are based. (Yeah, OK. Maybe it's a theme rather than a rule. But I still would classify it more as a "golden rule" of sorts.) For example, when two sailboats are on the same tack, which has the right of way? The leeward boat, of course. Why? Because of the possibility that the leeward boat might be wind-shadowed by the windward boat, making the leeward boat less maneuverable. The leeward sailboat thus has the right-of-way.

[Edit: The only rules of the road rules that do not give right-of-way to the significantly least maneuverable vessel are those rules that apply to roughly equal maneuverabilities. For example, starboard tack has right-of-way over port tack (for sailboats), but both starboard tack and port tack are essentially equal in terms of maneuverability. So they just arbitrarily picked one.]

 

[DaveC426913]

Time to review your right of way rules. That's not one of them.
Although I get your drift, yes that a theme, but it's not one of the rules.

Neither is "The ship with the biggest guns has right of way", and yet...

 

[DaveE]

You dialors

Neither is "The ship with the biggest guns has right of way", and yet...

While not technically the Navigation right of way rules, operation near military craft are generally restricted by national security laws. Same with critical infrastructure (power plants, bridges, pipelines, airports, etc.).

https://www.boatus.org/study-guide/navigation/security/

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Since we have somewhat relaxed the "recently" requirement, let me go forward with this story:

I was a kid back then, maybe nine or ten years old. I was always fascinated by wires and PCBs, though I had very little understanding of how they worked. We had a dysfunctional lead-acid battery lying in the house that was taken out a few days back from an emergency backup lamp. I decided to charge the battery, that too from 220V AC mains!. (At that time, I didn't even know the difference between DC and AC, let alone voltage and current relationship.)

It was afternoon, and I was alone in the house. We had (and still have) a socket that had its own inbuilt fuse. I took two long screws and taped two wires to them, and attached the other ends of the wires to the battery terminals. Note that the tape wasn't an electrical insulation tape; it was simply transparent duct tape. I plugged in the two screws, took a long wooden stick, moved away from the socket, and switched it on.



There was a large flash near the battery, and the fuse of the socket immediately blew off. Moreover, there was a blue flame over the +ve terminal of the battery! I walked up to the battery and extinguished the fire by blowing over it.

After so many years, and after having conducted countless other experiments, I am pretty confident that that was the dumbest (and most dangerous) thing that I have done till date. I am glad that we are still living in the same house, and I am still in one piece.

On a side note, I still have that battery. Till date, I could never find a proper way of disposing it, so I kept it with myself. It hasn't leaked, by the way.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

On a side note, I still have that battery. Till date, I could never find a proper way of disposing it, so I kept it with myself. It hasn't leaked, by the way.

Well if you hadn't blown out the fire you wouldn't have this problem.

How long ago was this?

 

[jbriggs444]

There was the time I pipetted concentrated hydrochloric acid. Turns out you can hear your teeth fizz.

No long term ill effects.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The battery story reminds of something that happened when I was just a toddler. Because of the location I know I was 4 or younger. I remember finding a Bobby pin and realizing it might plug into a wall socket. I remember pushing it into the socket and getting a serious jolt, but nothing after that.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

How long ago was this?

Twelve or thirteen years back, most probably.

 

[wukunlin]

Selected the wrong week when buying train tickets, found out half an hour before the train I was meant to board departed

 

[DaveC426913]

I remember pushing it into the socket and getting a serious jolt, but nothing after that.

For how long did you remember nothing after that? I assume you were revived.

 

[DaveC426913]

When I was about twelve, I decided I wanted an alarm on my bedroom door.
I pulled the cable out of a desk lamp and split one wire, which I tied (tied!) to the ends of two steel shelf brackets.
One bracket I taped to the underside of the door, and the other I laid on the shag carpet. (the shag carpet!)
When the door was closed, the lamp was lit, if someone opened it, the lamp went out.

Having proved the concept, some guardian angel instinct in my head said maybe laying a live piece of metal buried in shag carpet in my doorway was not conducive to keeping the house standing and the people in it alive. So I disassembled it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

For how long did you remember nothing after that? I assume you were revived.

I have no idea what happened. It is just a flash of sticking the Bobby pin into the socket and my arm jumping. And that's it. I was between 2 and 4 years of age so it is just a fragment.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

When I was about twelve, I decided I wanted an alarm on my bedroom door.
I pulled the cable out of a desk lamp and split one wire, which I tied (tied!) to the ends of two steel shelf brackets.
One bracket I taped to the underside of the door, and the other I laid on the shag carpet. (the shag carpet!)
When the door was closed, the lamp was lit, if someone opened it, the lamp went out.

Having proved the concept, some guardian angel instinct in my head said maybe laying a live piece of metal buried in shag carpet in my doorway was not conducive to keeping the house standing and the people in it alive. So I disassembled it.

Well darn! You reminded me of something I did when I was about 12. To this day it haunts me. I was sooooooooo lucky no one got hurt. But as I typed out the last sentences explaining what I did, I realized that I had just written instructions for how to produce and distribute potentially deadly hardware all over the neighborhood, for some dangerous 12 yo! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

 

[Twigg]

In dumb things I did very recently, I thought I could walk to work in the Colorado sun. Gonna need some aloe...

 

[Leo Liu]

I forgot to bring my calculator with me on the day of my high school statistics test. So I had to calculate every question by hand. When it got returned to me, I found out that the guy sitting beside me got the same mark with a calculator.

Conclusion: Calculators are useless.

 

[DaveC426913]

Conclusion: Calculators are useless.

Conclusion: You are as fast and as accurate without a calculator as a random guy is with a calculator.

 

[Tom.G]

Well, if we can ignore the 'recently'.

Sort of a toss-up between these two.

1)
I was a teenager with a Model-T Ford Spark Coil (ignition coil). The interrupter (ignition points, on the primary side) was tightened down to remain closed and it was connected to a step-down transformer from a toy electric train. Could still draw a spark from the secondary. Somehow I ended up with my hands on opposite ends of the secondary (high voltage winding). Hand and arm muscles stayed contracted so I couldn't let go. Fortunately I was experimenting while sitting on the bed and used the remainder of my body to throw myself away from that alligator.

2)
Again as a teenager, I was replacing the CRT in a neighbors TV. As was common, it was a rebuilt tube where the rebuilding was done by cutting off the neck with the electron gun, then welding on a new neck with a new electron gun. (The usual failure mode is lower electron emission from the cathode making for a very strange picture, some picture areas are negative.)

Having installed the new CRT, I was directly behind the set adjusting the deflection yoke position. Then I heard air leaking into the new CRT. The weld had failed and the neck of the CRT was pointed at the middle of my chest. Now the 'common knowledge' of the day was that those tubes implode, with the back going out the front and the front going out the back. At that point my hindbrain kicked in, I froze in position. Fortunately the leak remained small and the CRT remained intact.

After an 18 mile round trip to exchange for a working CRT, it was a successful install. Whew!

Cheers,
Tom

 

[Twigg]

Any of y'all ever tried to chase a squirrel out of an optics lab? It's a singularly humiliating experience.

 

[hutchphd]

I was a teenager with a Model-T Ford Spark Coil (ignition coil). The interrupter (ignition points, on the primary side) was tightened down to remain closed and it was connected to a step-down transformer from a toy electric train. Could still draw a spark from the secondary. Somehow I ended up with my hands on opposite ends of the secondary (high voltage winding). Hand and arm muscles stayed contracted so I couldn't let go. Fortunately I was experimenting while sitting on the bed and used the remainder of my body to throw myself away from that alligator.

I performed the same experiment at the same age with the same predictable outcome! As I recall, my coil was from a run of the mill 1950's auto with my American Flyer transformer on the primary, and I was using my bed as a lab table so the jolt knocked me off my knees, breaking the circuit.
It seems to me this was occasioned by a book called maybe "The Young Experimentalist" or something similar copywrite ~1930 . I also remember that the same book described how to attach an X-ray tube to your model T spark coil in order to produce radiographs. Luckily I was lacking sufficient funds.
Anyone recall this book?