Exploring Galaxy Evolution in μ¨ Based Cosmologies

[ohwilleke]

TL;DR Summary

Bovine Cosmology Here We Come

arXiv:2303.17002 [pdf, other]
Galaxy Evolution in μ¨ based Cosmologies
Will J. Roper, Stephen M. Wilkins, Stephen Riggs, Jessica Pilling, Aswin P. Vijayan, Dimitrios Irodotou, Violetta Korbina, Jussi Kuusisto
Subjects: Astrophysics of Galaxies (astro-ph.GA); Popular Physics (physics.pop-ph)

We present the first study of galaxy evolution in μ¨ based cosmologies. We find that recent JWST observations of massive galaxies at extremely high redshifts are consistent with such a cosmology. However, the low redshift Universe is entirely divergent from the μ¨ cosmic star formation rate density. We thus propose that our Universe was at one point dominated by a Primordial Bovine Herd (PBH) which later decayed producing dark energy. Note that we do not detail the mechanisms by which this decay process takes place. Despite its vanishingly small probability for existence, a μ¨ based cosmological model marries the disparate findings in the high and low redshift Universe.

N.B. μ¨ would be pronounced approximately as "moo". The PBH acronym is a reference to "Primordial Black Holes" which have the same acronym.

 

[strangerep]

...and I hope no one would be so rude as to suggest that the immense volume of dark matter/energy spontaneously created on the arxiv every day has its origins in a primordial bovine herd.

 

[PAllen]

Hey, as long as we're doing this, here is another:

https://arxiv.org/abs/2303.16915

 

[PAllen]

And this:

https://arxiv.org/abs/2303.16959

 

[jtbell]

We thus propose that our Universe was at one point dominated by a Primordial Bovine Herd (PBH) which later decayed producing dark energy.

And a steaming pile of dark(ish) matter?

 

[PAllen]

Now this one is a few years old, but still maybe my favorite April fools paper:

https://arxiv.org/abs/2003.14321

 

[ohwilleke]

And this:

https://arxiv.org/abs/2303.16959

Very subtle.

 

[jedishrfu]

And now we have had our April Fools fun (aka April 1st, 2023) we return to our regularly schedule posting of peer reviewed non April-Fools-Joke-articles.

We leave you with a simple message: Klatu Barada Nikto!

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