How Can I Survive Being Homeless Until I Transfer to University?

[haxtor21]

Hello PF. I need some serious advice as to how i can survive until i transfer to a 4 year university.

I am an 18 yr old HS senior. Contemplating on dropping out. I have 27 HS credits out of the 21 needed; I also have 36 credits at Community college w/ 4.0gpa. I received a two week notice from my mom that i am being kicked out for being ungreateful to her and quitting my lifeguarding job. The reason for quitting my job is because i have ~ $1000 in savings, and I am planning to transfer to umich next fall, hence i don't need my job. She says I am being ungreatfull to all the sacrifices she has made for me, and that I am a jerk, in a nutshell. We are european imigrants.

I have a gym membership which has showers, so I was planning to shower everyday there. For studying and programming, I was planning to use the library and my macbook pro. I will sleep in my car.

Insurance is just a bit shy of 1000 per year, but I only have ~9 months until I transfer and get loans. I will also be getting a check from FAFSA but this will be in about 6-7 months. The sum will be about 4000$. I was also planning on calling some relatives to borrow some money.

I was planning on eating bulk nuts and tuna fish everyday.

Please, give me some input on my situation.

In the meantime i will ocupy myself with keeping a 4.0 no matter what. Maybe a miracle happens and i can monetize my programming.

In this case should i might as well get out of Michigan? as in transfering to a east or west coast school.

Help me please -_-.

 

[Evo]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I can't believe some parents are so hateful and even downright stupid.

I'd be proud to have a child like you, someone dedicated to getting an education and improving their life. Sacrifices she's made for you? You're only 18, up until now she's been legally responsible for you, give me a break.

Some people here have been homeless, so perhaps they can give you some advice.

Hang in there and good luck.

 

[lisab]

Sorry to hear about it. I went through a hard time like you're in now. I had several unexpected bills (car repair, vet bill) and I was flat broke. I lived at a state park campground for a while. But those were (mostly) summer months, I'd hate to be in that situation in winter.

My first thought is, go to the school authorities. Even though you're 18, you're still in school. This may be something a social worker could help with.

Also - you mentioned you had relatives who may loan you money - can you ask to stay with them a little while?

Sorry to hear your mom is difficult .

 

[haxtor21]

Shes not stupid at all, and she is partly right. Thing is she's working like 60 hrs a week now + master's classes, b/c she took up more hours so we can move in a 2 bedroom apt, so i can have my own room I've been bitching about. She told me not to quit my job until i have another one. My mom is a very ambitious person, she was a CFO in europe, but here she's doing low level accounting, making not so much money.

Anyway, the situation remains the same, and I am actually liking the idea of it.

 

[fss]

I can't believe some parents are so hateful and even downright stupid.

Sorry to hear your mom is difficult .

Wait...what? Sorry to play Devil's Advocate here, but you don't know the entire story. For the average parent, there's probably a reason this unfortunate situation has gotten to where it is.

I am an 18 yr old HS senior. Contemplating on dropping out.

I don't think that's a good idea at all.

The reason for quitting my job is because i have ~ $1000 in savings, and I am planning to transfer to umich next fall, hence i don't need my job.

$1000 is maybe three semesters' worth of textbooks... if you're lucky. That's also assuming you plan on eating.

I was planning on eating bulk nuts and tuna fish everyday.

Not a good diet.

Please, give me some input on my situation.

Work things out with your mother. Both of you are going to regret this at some point, probably in the near future.

as in transfering to a east or west coast school.

How are you going to get there? Driving will cost you ~$150 to the east coast.

 

[haxtor21]

Also - you mentioned you had relatives who may loan you money - can you ask to stay with them a little while?

Sorry to hear your mom is difficult .

Well, my uncle and aunt live about 50 miles away. And i live 1 mile from HS and 4 miles from college. These are my only relatives.

 

[haxtor21]

$1000 is maybe three semesters' worth of textbooks... if you're lucky. That's also assuming you plan on eating.


How are you going to get there? Driving will cost you ~$150 to the east coast.

1) My high school is paying for all of my college classes, except books.

2) I have a car.

 

[fss]

1) My high school is paying for all of my college classes, except books.

Not if you drop out.

2) I have a car.

Cars require gas, and in most states, insurance. What are you going to do if you get pulled over?

 

[Evo]

I don't know the situation, but I have seen too many parents over react and put their children in potentially harmful situations like this. Throwing an 18 year old child out in this manner is stupid, IMO. I would never put my child in such a dangerous predicament.

If it's a case that the child is physically abusive and a danger to you, then you go through social services, but you don't put them in a position of being homeless just because you're not happy with their decisions.

Btw fss, your suggestions are excellent.

 

[haxtor21]

Not if you drop out.



Cars require gas, and in most states, insurance. What are you going to do if you get pulled over?

1) I won't then

2)I already explained the insurance in my initial post. in if I can survive for 6-7 months i will get fafsa money, because i spent none. Worst case scenario I call dad in europe for $$.

 

[lisab]

Wait...what? Sorry to play Devil's Advocate here, but you don't know the entire story. For the average parent, there's probably a reason this unfortunate situation has gotten to where it is.

In general, I agree; but I think it's a *terrible* idea to kick out a kid who's still in high school.

 

[haxtor21]

I don't know the situation, but I have seen too many parents over react and put their children in potentially harmful situations like this. Throwing an 18 year old child out in this manner is stupid, IMO. I would never put my child in such a dangerous predicament.

If it's a case that the child is physically abusive and a danger to you, then you go through social services, but you don't put them in a position of being homeless just because you're not happy with their decisions.

Btw fss, your suggestions are excellent.

Im sorry Evo but you don't understand. Eastern european culture is very different from the american culture. Parents are brutal, which could be a good or a bad thing. I admit that its my fault too but at this point it doesent matter.

 

[fss]

2)I already explained the insurance in my initial post. in if I can survive for 6-7 months i will get fafsa money, because i spent none. Worst case scenario I call dad in europe for $$.

FAFSA funds cannot be used to pay for personal car insurance. In general it seems like you have little inkling about the enormous difficulty of the situation you are seemingly ready to jump into.

 

[Evo]

Well, my uncle and aunt live about 50 miles away. And i live 1 mile from HS and 4 miles from college. These are my only relatives.

Is there any chance that they will take you in until you can either work things out with your mother or are able to support yourself?

I'm really worried about your safety and well being. How your mother was raised is no excuse for her being irresponsible now. Don't blame yourself.

 

[haxtor21]

FAFSA funds cannot be used to pay for personal car insurance.

My CC told me they will write me a check for the money not used in the particular school year. This isn't a loan, its low-income money I suppose.(Pel Grant?)

 

[haxtor21]

Is there any chance that they will take you in until you can either work things out with your mother or are able to support yourself?

I'm really worried about your safety and well being.

I think they would but this would exponentially increase my commuting costs to HS and college every day. I don't think this is a good ideea.

 

[JaredJames]

This sounds terrible. I agree with evo, what sacrifices? She chose to have kids, you haven't made her sacrifice anything, it was her decision. Some people don't deserve to have kids.

lisab is right, see if you can stay with your relatives.

There is one nagging doubt I have, you said it's because you're "ungrateful to her and are quitting your job". Now, in what way have you been ungrateful would you say?
I'm not in any way saying this justifies her actions, but perhaps there's a reason she feels this way?
Also, you're quitting your job now ready for next autumn? Bit premature (although I'm sure you have a good reason). Does she understand why you're quitting so early?

I try to be fair in my views on matters like this, looking at it from both sides (again, not trying to justify her but to gain a better perspective).

I'm mentioning this because I have an 18 year old sister, she's very self sufficient (as you sound), has a job but still lives at home but is very rarely here outside of sleeping. Now the only time we really see her, particularly my grandparents is when something is wrong (car trouble, job trouble etc). At which point she expects you to drop everything and give her priority.
Being good parents / grandparents / brother (possibly) we do our best to help but unless things go exactly how she wants (quickly) she starts shouting and gets annoyed with us. She doesn't see any problem with expecting us all to just drop everything for her and doesn't realize just how much effort we put into helping her and is very ungrateful towards us. It's rather annoying to put mildly.

If that is how you are appearing to your mother then you can see how she may feel the way she does. I'm not saying you do, but perhaps there is similar issues between the two of you causing a rift?

EDIT: Took a while to write this, you've pretty much covered everything.

 

[lisab]

One thing you may not have realized, haxtor...and I hate to bring it up, but you must know. Homeless people are often victims of crime - robbery and worse. They're seen as easy victims, since most don't have bank accounts and keep their cash on them. It's really a dangerous lifestyle; you should avoid it.

Is it possible your mom just needs some time to cool off, think it over a bit...and then you can come back?

 

[lisab]

My CC told me they will write me a check for the money not used in the particular school year. This isn't a loan, its low-income money I suppose.(Pel Grant?)

If it's a Pell Grant, you can use the money however you want to, I'm pretty sure.

 

[haxtor21]

One thing you may not have realized, haxtor...and I hate to bring it up, but you must know. Homeless people are often victims of crime - robbery and worse. They're seen as easy victims, since most don't have bank accounts and keep their cash on them. It's really a dangerous lifestyle; you should avoid it.

Is it possible your mom just needs some time to cool off, think it over a bit...and then you can come back?

Maybe she will cool off and let me stay. Altough I doubt it because she always does what she says she does.

I have a bank account where all of my money is. I have a few dollars in quarters on me. I never have any money on me.

 

[JaredJames]

Haxtor, you admit it's partially your fault.

In which case, you obviously realize you did something to cause this and you have clearly gone against what your mother wished (leaving a job without another). Although your mother doesn't have the right to call the shots, it does sound like she was looking at your best interests.

So, given you know how she reacts, why did you leave things get this bad?

Where in Eastern Europe are you from roughly?

(I still think it's bad her throwing you out)

 

[haxtor21]

There is one nagging doubt I have, you said it's because you're "ungrateful to her and are quitting your job". Now, in what way have you been ungrateful would you say?
Yes, she sacrificed A LOT for me to bring me to america, a high management executive job to name one.

I'm not in any way saying this justifies her actions, but perhaps there's a reason she feels this way?
I think that her actions are partly justified. Its just that i don't tend to express my emotion with her

Also, you're quitting your job now ready for next autumn? Bit premature (although I'm sure you have a good reason). Does she understand why you're quitting so early?
Well the reason is that i have enough money if she let me stay. I don't like to work for others, and I know that does sound selfish for my situation. Full time college, HS and a job can be demanding on my spirit and productivity.

If that is how you are appearing to your mother then you can see how she may feel the way she does. I'm not saying you do, but perhaps there is similar issues between the two of you causing a rift?
Yes there is something similar of what you're describing. But I really think this is going to be something good for me actually.

EDIT: Took a while to write this, you've pretty much covered everything.

Thank you for taking the time

 

[haxtor21]

So, given you know how she reacts, why did you leave things get this bad?

Where in Eastern Europe are you from roughly?

(I still think it's bad her throwing you out)

Let things get this bad? She called me today and asked me if i went to work. I said no, I quit my job. She knew I had money saved up.

Then all hell broke loose.

I am Romanian.

 

[airborne18]

Hello PF. I need some serious advice as to how i can survive until i transfer to a 4 year university.

I am an 18 yr old HS senior. Contemplating on dropping out. I have 27 HS credits out of the 21 needed; I also have 36 credits at Community college w/ 4.0gpa. I received a two week notice from my mom that i am being kicked out for being ungreateful to her and quitting my lifeguarding job. The reason for quitting my job is because i have ~ $1000 in savings, and I am planning to transfer to umich next fall, hence i don't need my job. She says I am being ungreatfull to all the sacrifices she has made for me, and that I am a jerk, in a nutshell. We are european imigrants.

I have a gym membership which has showers, so I was planning to shower everyday there. For studying and programming, I was planning to use the library and my macbook pro. I will sleep in my car.

Insurance is just a bit shy of 1000 per year, but I only have ~9 months until I transfer and get loans. I will also be getting a check from FAFSA but this will be in about 6-7 months. The sum will be about 4000$. I was also planning on calling some relatives to borrow some money.

I was planning on eating bulk nuts and tuna fish everyday.

Please, give me some input on my situation.

In the meantime i will ocupy myself with keeping a 4.0 no matter what. Maybe a miracle happens and i can monetize my programming.

In this case should i might as well get out of Michigan? as in transfering to a east or west coast school.

Help me please -_-.

I went through this at your age... Needless to say after a long winter I joined the army at 17.

Here is how you get by, and I did this. Get a night job as a janitor cleaning. It will pay the bills, and will keep you warm at night. During the day you can hang out in the public library and go to school. And shower at the YMCA. You are a bit screwed if you can't find a job for every night of the week. But that is when you visit friends or just bundle up in the car.



The real kick is that you need your parents for financial aid. It has changed a lot since I was 16, so I think now you can declare as independent, but you will still have limited financial aid.

You could try this with your mother... Tell her you decided to join the military since they are giving large bonuses is you volunteer for afganhistan in the infantry on the front lines.

 

[JaredJames]

I've got to give it to you, I'd be going to pieces right now if it was me. I get stressed very easily and this would do me in. You seem to be taking this very well.

I really don't think this will be "something good" for you. I don't think you quite understand the situation you're going to be in.

Sleeping in your car is one thing. How are you going to live though? It will cost you far more to live like this in the long run.

 

[JaredJames]

Let things get this bad? She called me today and asked me if i went to work. I said no, I quit my job. She knew I had money saved up.

Then all hell broke loose.

I am Romanian.

Well you said you knew she didn't like you quitting without another job.

$1000 really isn't that much and certainly won't last you 6/7 months.

Where I live in the UK, living costs are really low but you're still looking at a minimum of $600 per month.

 

[G037H3]

OP, you're in a way better situation than I was in a few months ago

I miraculously found someone who mercifully helped me out, and I'm starting to begin getting my life on track, but considering how much more you have than what I had, what I think you should do is:

1. relax, to begin with, lots of people your age have been in way worse circumstances in the past and have done fine. you have a car and savings, and you're in a first world nation. you also seem to be somewhat ambitious which means that earning an income shouldn't be very difficult at all as long as you are above average.

2. try to find a replacement part time job, preferably with flexible hours (or maybe a part time night shift as a cashier, for instance, you could work on schoolwork when nothing was going on), if you're really decent at programming, try to find employment with that (i assume you aren't good enough for complete freelance work yet, so you should try to meet a couple of people who do freelance to work with them, or some other form of networking/working for a very small start-up or something like that)

3. take a couple of multivitamins every day...if you're going to greatly limit your diet, you run the risk of having some sort of deficiency...a $10 bottle of health insurance is a good idea for someone in your situation, who couldn't afford a health issue...while we're on health, make sure you eat at least one fruit and one vegetable a day, somehow. also make sure you sleep at least 7 hours a night.

4. if your mother has some sort of access to your bank account, and you don't trust her, change that so she couldn't interfere with your safety net savings or w.e

also, the thread title should be 'In the process of becoming homeless', so I think you should also read some well-written books...lucid communication is useful for your whole lifetime :P

PS: Macs suck, if it's worth anything, sell it, buy a cheaper laptop with the same (or superior specs), and spend the $ on something else...also, a lot of programmers won't take a Mac user seriously O_O

PSS: you're going to be screwed if you have to sleep in your car in winter, hope you've thought about that.

 

[haxtor21]

I've got to give it to you, I'd be going to pieces right now if it was me. I get stressed very easily and this would do me in. You seem to be taking this very well.
I spend a lot of my time daydreaming about things in life/science. This is my coping mechanism i guess. For example , I begin with a situation or a schematic, take it to extremes and twists and try to find solutions and visualizations. This may sound all normal, but I spend an unhealthy amount of time doing this. One of the reasons I am so unproductive with homework.

I really don't think this will be "something good" for you. I don't think you quite understand the situation you're going to be in.
I think that this will relieve some of the tension that my mom always surrounds me with. I think this will give me a opportunity to be more productive and learn more about my field of study, That is if I can pull this scheme off without working et all.

Sleeping in your car is one thing. How are you going to live though? It will cost you far more to live like this in the long run.
Im going to university dorms/apts in 9 months. All I do is study and mess with my computers anyway, so I will have no problems. It will be bliss not being bothered while trying to study

4char

 

[JaredJames]

I have to say, you are sounding ungrateful to everything your mother has done for you:

Moving you and taking a different job to pay for everything to make your life better.
Trying to ensure you have enough money (whether through her work or your own).

And then you turn around and say things like:

"It will be bliss not being bothered while trying to study"
"I think this will give me a opportunity to be more productive and learn more about my field of study"

It sounds to me like your mother is simply trying to do the best for you and help you do the best for yourself and you are throwing it back at her.

I'm not saying it justifies her throwing you out, but I can see her point of view given what she's done to give you the best life possible.

EDIT: from your following post, you sound quite cocky, as if you know everything will be OK. I don't think the gravity of the situation has hit you yet.

 

[haxtor21]

OP, you're in a way better situation than I was in a few months ago

I miraculously found someone who mercifully helped me out, and I'm starting to begin getting my life on track, but considering how much more you have than what I had, what I think you should do is:

1. relax, to begin with, lots of people your age have been in way worse circumstances in the past and have done fine. you have a car and savings, and you're in a first world nation. you also seem to be somewhat ambitious which means that earning an income shouldn't be very difficult at all as long as you are above average.
You wouldn't believe how relaxed I am, in all seriousness. Maybe too relaxed


2. try to find a replacement part time job, preferably with flexible hours (or maybe a part time night shift as a cashier, for instance, you could work on schoolwork when nothing was going on), if you're really decent at programming, try to find employment with that (i assume you aren't good enough for complete freelance work yet, so you should try to meet a couple of people who do freelance to work with them, or some other form of networking/working for a very small start-up or something like that)
I am not the greatest at programming. I am just learning Java now, but I anticipate I can make good progress as I am now. I am planning to pick up iOS too.

My job that i just quit had very flexible hours lool. I will try security guard or something where I can do some homework. But I am trying to pull this off without a job. Is this possible? considering i will be getting some money from relatives?

3. take a couple of multivitamins every day...if you're going to greatly limit your diet, you run the risk of having some sort of deficiency...a $10 bottle of health insurance is a good idea for someone in your situation, who couldn't afford a health issue...while we're on health, make sure you eat at least one fruit and one vegetable a day, somehow. also make sure you sleep at least 7 hours a night.
Good ideea, thanks

4. if your mother has some sort of access to your bank account, and you don't trust her, change that so she couldn't interfere with your safety net savings or w.e
"No she has no access"

also, the thread title should be 'In the process of becoming homeless', so I think you should also read some well-written books...lucid communication is useful for your whole lifetime :P

PS: Macs suck, if it's worth anything, sell it, buy a cheaper laptop with the same (or superior specs), and spend the $ on something else...also, a lot of programmers won't take a Mac user seriously O_O
Oh boy here we go. I've been a windows user all my life, I am now a Ubuntu convert on my main PC, and i use my MBP on the go. It might be a good ideea selling it, but please do not hate on a well designed product. I am by no means an Apple evangelist, I hate the Apple culture. But their products are the best designed and retain resale value. I actually have a J!NX logo over the Apple logo if it makes u feel better :P

PSS: you're going to be screwed if you have to sleep in your car in winter, hope you've thought about that.
I hope I will survive *laughing at myself*

4char

 

[haxtor21]

I went through this at your age... Needless to say after a long winter I joined the army at 17.
Please tell me how exactly did this go? I am interested in this story.

Here is how you get by, and I did this. Get a night job as a janitor cleaning. It will pay the bills, and will keep you warm at night. During the day you can hang out in the public library and go to school. And shower at the YMCA. You are a bit screwed if you can't find a job for every night of the week. But that is when you visit friends or just bundle up in the car.
Why would I be screwed if I can't work? If my calculations are right I could survive with no job


The real kick is that you need your parents for financial aid. It has changed a lot since I was 16, so I think now you can declare as independent, but you will still have limited financial aid.
I think my mom would accept doing my fin aid for this year even though she's kicking me out

You could try this with your mother... Tell her you decided to join the military since they are giving large bonuses is you volunteer for afganhistan in the infantry on the front lines.
My mom is not stupid

4 char

 

[JaredJames]

Apple may be the best, but most software is required to be Microsoft compliant. I hate Apple with a vengence, but i agree their stuff is the best designed out there. This doesn't make it useable though. It is some of the most expensive out there and so people generally avoid it, especially businesses. It is also a very closed system so far as programming goes.

Ubuntu is one of the best OS's to use, especially for programming, but as before most things need to be Microsoft compliant.

Trying to emulate things on a non-native OS just doesn't work properly and can throw up various issues (as I myself have discovered).

 

[G037H3]

quote things properly, please

well, relaxed->excited is easier than excited->relaxed

Oh, just learning Java...the fastest way to become good enough to make $$$ with programming is web development, but considering where you are, I would do programming on the side (2 hours of studying a day for instance) and stick with your CC classes and with a job

as for whether or not you should get a job, YES you should...you shouldn't make decisions that depend on the actions of other people, you're an adult now (at least legally >_>)

Ubuntu is okay, but really, with Macs, you're paying for style...you should hopefully know how much more expensive they are than another machine with slightly superior specs...like 250%+ more

don't worry, maybe you could pay a monthly fee for a heated parking garage

also, you should call and apologize to your mother, just in case she was just upset because of something else

 

[haxtor21]

Apple may be the best, but most software is required to be Microsoft compliant. I hate Apple with a vengence, but i agree their stuff is the best designed out there. This doesn't make it useable though. It is some of the most expensive out there and so people generally avoid it, especially businesses. It is also a very closed system so far as programming goes.

Ubuntu is one of the best OS's to use, especially for programming, but as before most things need to be Microsoft compliant.

Trying to emulate things on a non-native OS just doesn't work properly and can throw up various issues (as I myself have discovered).

Talking purely from a hardware/warranty perspective, i would dare to say that Apple is the best. But nonetheless I may have sell it, and buy a cheaper lappy. I've considered selling it before and buying a couple of LCDs to add to my setup.

But i need more practical advice on how I can pull this off. I think i could do it w/o working at all.

 

[JaredJames]

I've just read your other thread on quitting school to do apps development.

I have to say, you have big ideas but very little to pull it off.

I can see exactly why your mother is annoyed with you. First you want to take a few months off school and now you quit your job.

On $1000 you cannot pull this off for 6/7 months.

Do you really believe you could live on $150 per month? You keep talking about your intelligence and self learning (particularly in the other thread) but you don't seem to realize just how difficult a situation you are in.

I've noticed you've gone from sounding rather worried about being thrown out and now sound quite excited as if you're looking forward to it. Don't fool yourself into believing you can do this so easily.

Note: Hardware / warranty perspective is rarely what companies look for when purchasing systems. Only graphical organisations tend to use Macs so you are really limiting your potential market.