How Can Science and Math Help You Get a Date?

[BobG]

9x-7i<3(3x-7u)
9x-7i<9x-21u
-7i<-21u
i <3 u

 

[chaoseverlasting]

Please tell me if anyone of these has the slightest chance of working. Women only. Cause the way I see it, if I were to ever use these lines, I doubt I'd get so much so as a second look. :p

 

[DaveC426913]

Please tell me if anyone of these has the slightest chance of working.

No.

Women only. Cause the way I see it, if I were to ever use these lines, I doubt I'd get so much so as a second look. :p

Correct.


(Correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but ) confidence in yourself / comfort with yourself is the #1 turn-on.

 

[JaredJames]

No.

Correct.

(Correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but ) confidence in yourself / comfort with yourself is the #1 turn-on.

I'd say having the b*lls to go up to someone and use one is a plus (possibly) but you could certainly play it as humour. Would have to be a real smooth player to pull it off though. Sadly, not a chance for me.

 

[BobG]

Please tell me if anyone of these has the slightest chance of working. Women only. Cause the way I see it, if I were to ever use these lines, I doubt I'd get so much so as a second look. :p

You need to define "working".

A pick-up line could be intended to attract as many women as possible. In that sense, I don't think any pick-up line could be successful in the sense that every woman you would encounter would be attracted by it. Still, it could conceivably be successful if "as many women as possible" were defined to be some arbitrarily low number, such as "three hundred women".

Obviously, the chances of a pick-up line attracting three hundred women would be proportional to how many women you tried it out on. I imagine there could be some pick-up lines so effective at attracting women that you would only need to use them on 300,000 women in order for it to attract 300 women.

If your definition of success were "three women", then you would probably have to try it on fewer women to have success, depending on how many women would be likely to be attracted to that sort of pick-up line.

But, here's the key! What happens if you try a pick-up line that's effective on 300 women out of every 300,000 you try it out on, but all of those 300 women are women that you would find totally incompatible? For example, you like math and engineering and think astrology is for idiots but your pick-up line only attracted women that believe in astrology.

In that case, your pick-up line was unsuccessful even though it attracted 300 women! Having 300 women did you absolutely no good because it attracted 300 women that you couldn't possibly like while it eliminated every single woman that you might be attracted to. Worse yet, you'll now have to go on at least one date with each of those women to find out you have absolutely nothing in common with them. What a huge waste of time and effort!

A good pick-up line is a filter. It should be designed to weed out as many women as possible so that only women you might be attracted to will respond to it.

In other words, if a pick-up line will turn off 999,999 women out of 1,000,000, then that's a good thing! You've saved yourself the effort of dating 999,999 women that are incompatible with you and can focus your efforts on the 1 woman out 1,000,000 that might possibly be worth your time and effort!

So, in that vein, most of these pick-up lines are guaranteed to be successful, since it's safe to say that just about every woman you try them out on will reject you. They will successfully weed out almost every woman in the world from your consideration and save you oodles of time (1.3678 x 10^17 seconds for those used to measuring time in the standard manner).

And, if you do happen to chance upon a woman that would respond to one of these lines, then you'll know that there will be a much higher probability of compatibility between the two of you than if you just picked up some random woman that happened to share your sign.

 

[Evo]

This is why dance clubs are a good way to hit on women, you just go up to the woman and ask her to dance. Then you have a few minutes while dancing to talk to her and see if she sounds interesting. If she doesn't, after the dance you say "thanks' and walk away.

 

[BobG]

Then you have a few minutes while dancing to talk to her and see if she sounds interesting.

Dance and talk at the same time?! Isn't that dangerous?!

Generally, I'm afraid to talk and chew gum at the same time! Someone might get injured!

Of course, wait a minute. Considering you're one of the most injury prone women in the world, this would be a good compatibility test.

 

[rootX]

9x-7i<3(3x-7u)
9x-7i<9x-21u
-7i<-21u
i <3 u

This is so cute!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mUFXFe765I


I thought I am the only one who always orders food from in front of a counter.

 

[BobG]

9x-7i<3(3x-7u)
9x-7i<9x-21u
-7i<-21u
i <3 u

This is so cute!

Crap! This sure turned out to be lousy pick-up line.

It didn't even filter out males!

 

[rootX]

Crap! This sure turned out to be lousy pick-up line.

It didn't even filter out males!

I thought it is more suited for little kids. One of my high school teachers used to play these kind of pick up lines with her mom.

 

[jhae2.718]

Crap! This sure turned out to be lousy pick-up line.

It didn't even filter out males!

It's also too trivial. Anyone can solve an inequality.

There needs to at least be something like a Laplace transform in math pickup lines to weed out the deadweight...

 

[rootX]

It's also too trivial. Anyone can solve an inequality.

There needs to at least be something like a Laplace transform in math pickup lines to weed out the deadweight...

Love is bit too trivial and simple ...

http://external.ak.fbcdn.net/safe_image.php?d=a1a08bf17c2648ea9f2f72c379df7282&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.phdcomics.com%2Fcomics%2Farchive%2Fphd081310s.gif

like simple math.

 

[smartie18]

Haha, you guys are hillarious. Btw. i think that these geeky lines would work more than "normal" lines...when you really think about it, a geeky line line would at least show her that you are obviously joking and that you are actually making fun of average pick up lines...

I mean, compare "I'm not being obtuse, but your acute girl." to a line from this average pick up place http://pickuplinesblog.com/ ("Hey baby, if I sad that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" )

 

[Ms Music]

Please tell me if anyone of these has the slightest chance of working. Women only. Cause the way I see it, if I were to ever use these lines, I doubt I'd get so much so as a second look. :p

I dunno, this one might work for me!

"Hey babe, can you tell me your mass? Be honest, cos if I know that I can work out the approximate gravitational attraction force pulling you and I together."

If you are single, good looking, in the right age bracket and want to try it, I am the one wearing the tee shirt that reads "May the f=ma be with you"

This thread made the last few minutes of my work day great!

 

[r985]

Hey baby, are you singular? 'Cause I've got just the vector to span your null space.

 

[Psyguy22]

May I take your derivative? I want to lie tangent to your curve.

 

[trueo]

May I take your derivative? I want to lie tangent to your curve.

Hey baby, are you singular? 'Cause I've got just the vector to span your null space.

really mindful.

 

[rustled_jimmy]

$$\int_{10}^{13}{2xdx} \frac{}{} ?$$

"i wish i were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves."

lol!

 

[JizzaDaMan]

Lets bring in a bit of biology :D :

"Let me be the substrate to your active site"

 

[Hercuflea]

Let me integrate your contours, I promise there won't be any residue.

Let's practice calculus. Calculate the rate of change of my p****.

 

[HeLiXe]

ur what? I don't get it even after counting the stars.

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

ur what? I don't get it even after counting the stars.

There's a certain variation in length with the aforementioned body part, depending on outside stimuli... hence the "rate of change."

It was a very forthright joke.

 

[HeLiXe]

It was a very forthright joke.

Without your explanation I totally would not have understood it. >_<

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Without your explanation I totally would not have understood it. >_<

Well, by forthright, I meant that, if you were a girl, you would basically have a guy asking you to measure his penis.

 

[HeLiXe]

*vomits*

 

[kevinferreira]

If you come with me I'll defy the laws of nature so that you won't see any length contraction when we get to higher speed...

Lame.

 

[HeLiXe]

That was a hell of a lot better than the last one lol

 

[Nikitin]

"I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."

oh my god.. kill me please

:p

 

[WannabeNewton]

Babe, you're the delta to my epsilon. >.<

 

[HeLiXe]

awwwww <3 that is so sweet!

 

[jhae2.718]

Babe, you're the delta to my epsilon. >.<

I'm pretty sure $\varepsilon$ is also the probability that any of these would actually work.

 

[Digitalism]

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Hey baby, you ever take a course on differential equations?

Take off your clothes.

 

[HeLiXe]

lolololz...earthlings

 

[ChaosLokoInc]

You're more curved than spacetime in the presence of a 10^23 kilogram mass