How important are looks when choosing a bf/gf

[Math Is Hard]

Our bodies were not built to sit around all day. When I go running I like to pretend I'm in a more primal era, running to catch the days food, etc.

I do that, too. I usually tie a pot roast to the back of my neighbor's truck with a jump rope, and have him drive around the block while I chase after it.

 

[Hurkyl]

Edit: If you need verification that I'm a "hot" blonde, you can ask my boyfriend.

Those scare quotes... um... scare me...

 

[BobG]

So IQ scores are supposed to have an average of 100 right? Why, when looking at the table that indicates the IQ score of people of differing attractiveness, does that imply that more people are above average than below average? I would have thought attractiveness was a bell curve


EDIT: To clarify my statement, people who are very attractive or attractive have an IQ score of just over 100, but people who are unattractive are several points below 100, so for those two to balance there must be many more people who qualify as attractive

It could just be a reflection of where he did his research: http://www.vdare.com/sailer/041114_iq_table.htm.

Generally, the easiest way for a state to improve its average IQ is to move closer to Canada.

The research probably wasn't done in Japan (in spite of his name) since Japan has a high average IQ, while the US average is slightly below 100. IQ and the wealth of nations

In other words, his research created interesting numbers that could possibly make sense (Surely, attractiveness and traits that contribute to survival should have some correlation, but I think the package is a lot more complicated than just IQ. But, general health does contribute both to intelligence and attractiveness.)

 

[Proton Soup]

one of my first serious girlfriends in high school, i have to say i didn't find her attractive at all when i first met her. but sometimes you get to know someone and their looks change.

 

[BobG]

one of my first serious girlfriends in high school, i have to say i didn't find her attractive at all when i first met her. but sometimes you get to know someone and their looks change.

That's true. My first serious girlfriend kept telling me to comb my hair and change my underwear once in a while. She made me so attractive I was able to dump her and find someone who didn't nag so much.

 

[noblegas]

In other words, his research created interesting numbers that could possibly make sense (Surely, attractiveness and traits that contribute to survival should have some correlation, but I think the package is a lot more complicated than just IQ. But, general health does contribute both to intelligence and attractiveness.)

You think there is a strong correlation between looking llike a model and keeping a healthy diet?

I just don't think "more attractive" looking people are treated better in generally by society because they are more sucessful at what they do. People don't even have to the background of a more attractive-super model type person, but studies have shown that they will be treated better by total strangers on the street than average looking people , as exhibited in this story. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3917414#storyContinued

A person's physical attractiveness -- the look that they're basically born with -- impacts every individual literally from birth to death,” says Dr. Gordon Patzer, dean of the College of Business Administration at Roosevelt University. He's spent 30 years studying and writing about physical attractiveness. “People are valued more who are higher in physical attractiveness. As distasteful at that might be, that's the reality.”

Valued more? We wondered and decided to find a group of average, nice looking individuals and super, highly attractive people to test this attractiveness phenomenon. We looked for people with similar traits: the same race, no discernible accents, similar age groups. That way the focus would be exclusively on attractiveness.

So we hired models Anthony and Allison, and asked two NBC employees, Loren and another Anthony, to hit the streets, a bank, an auto shop, and even ride the bus, all the time wearing hidden cameras to see just how much looks matter.

First, we gave our foursome folders filled with papers and had them drop the contents on a New York City street. Would anyone stop to help?

When model Allison drops her file, there seems to be a sudden change in the weather. Is it raining men? A man even uses his cane to stop the pages from flying away.

“It was just amazing how people would flock to me to clean it up,” says Allison. “I have dropped my purse and wallet and people always help me pick it up. But I never really thought about if somebody else dropped their wallet, maybe they wouldn't help them. It just seems strange to me.”

NBC staffer Loren is about to be that someone else. She drops the papers and people step by, rather than stop. About a dozen people pass by before, finally, a woman offers help.

I suspect when choosing mates, people will go after a model type person, if given the opportunity. What a crooked society.

 

[leroyjenkens]

“It was just amazing how people would flock to me to clean it up,” says Allison. “I have dropped my purse and wallet and people always help me pick it up. But I never really thought about if somebody else dropped their wallet, maybe they wouldn't help them. It just seems strange to me.”

When I drop my wallet, people kick it. Or steal it. Or sometimes I'll drop my wallet and someone will say "Wow, you're ugly". They don't beat around the bush.

 

[Sorry!]

When I drop my wallet, people kick it. Or steal it. Or sometimes I'll drop my wallet and someone will say "Wow, you're ugly". They don't beat around the bush.

HAHAHHAAHHHAHAHAHAHHA. LEEEERRROOOOOOOOYYYYY :D

Seriously though if I drop my wallet or papers normally people would help pick it up... if I see someone else drop stuff I normally help them pick it up too. Regardless of what they look like... now if I TALK to them that's completely different. If its a pretty girl and my girlfriend is far enough away I'd probably strike up a conversation about which hotel... ahh can't share those stories with you guys.

 

[BobG]

You think there is a strong correlation between looking llike a model and keeping a healthy diet?

No. Culture has seized on a single human trait (thin body) and exaggerated it beyond its 'natural' occurrence? Perhaps, but finding a single refined trait exaggerated beyond common sense isn't unnatural. How does a peacock's tail contribute to the survival of a peacock? Evolution is full of 'successes' that veered at least part way down a dead end (i.e. - at some point, further non-functionality in a peacock's tail would become a serious disadvantage).

I suspect when choosing mates, people will go after a model type person, if given the opportunity. What a crooked society.

A lot of decisions humans make are irrational, but that doesn't mean our decisions are crooked. It just means it's easier to detect and react to a few key traits subconciously than to sort out the entire package using rational thought.

And some traits become important very quickly. Good teeth in the US, for example. Ask Americans what they look for first in a date and see how often "good teeth" comes up.

A person with good teeth is probably more likely to be intelligent than a person with bad teeth (but only if education level correlates with intelligence). High school dropouts, aged 20-64, were missing an average 4.63 teeth in 98-04; high school graduates were missing an average of 3.24 teeth; and people with some college were missing an average of 1.65 teeth.

Still, it can be a misguided trait. As late as '98, the average person in the UK was missing about 7.2 teeth and the average Brit is not less intelligent than the average American. Yet, the average Brit was going to have a harder time getting a date in the US than the least intelligent American.

 

[Moonbear]

one of my first serious girlfriends in high school, i have to say i didn't find her attractive at all when i first met her. but sometimes you get to know someone and their looks change.

But did you find her unattractive? Probably not. That's more of what I'm getting at. I don't think it's likely someone would end up dating a person they thought was physically repulsive the first time they met them (unless it's something they grow out of), but someone who is just in the neutral category, where you never really gave any thought to their appearance when you met them, could easily become more attractive as you get to know them better.

 

[Moonbear]

I suspect when choosing mates, people will go after a model type person, if given the opportunity. What a crooked society.

I don't think so. Models are very photogenic, but don't necessarily look very special in person. They're the ones who got teased in high school as being the plain Jane scrawny beanpole (I'm basing this on stories from models interviewed on talk shows).

The men I know usually look for curves on women, which models don't have. As a woman, I find male models generally unattractive...there's something effeminate in most of their appearances, at least for my taste, and I can't help but think they're likely more attracted to other male models rather than women. I could be wrong about their sexual orientation, but that's the vibe I get from their appearances alone. I'm more attracted to men with meat on their bones...the construction worker physique is much more attractive to me than a model physique.

 

[Sorry!]

I'll admit whenever I see a girl the first thing I recognize is a NICE SIMLE. Like I don't even know why but having nice teeth IMO is very attractive on its own.

 

[BobG]

I don't think so. Models are very photogenic, but don't necessarily look very special in person. They're the ones who got teased in high school as being the plain Jane scrawny beanpole (I'm basing this on stories from models interviewed on talk shows).

The men I know usually look for curves on women, which models don't have. As a woman, I find male models generally unattractive...there's something effeminate in most of their appearances, at least for my taste, and I can't help but think they're likely more attracted to other male models rather than women. I could be wrong about their sexual orientation, but that's the vibe I get from their appearances alone. I'm more attracted to men with meat on their bones...the construction worker physique is much more attractive to me than a model physique.

I'm glad you gave your source. I think their self-descriptions about their looks are about as reliable as people's self-description of their economic status ("us poor, but honest, hardworking folk" vs. those "cheating, thieving misers obsessed with money" or those "lazy, moronic welfare pioneers").

You're still right. There is a difference between models in women's magazines and men's magazines. The anorexic tendency of models in women's magazines don't equate into a 3-dimensional world quite as well as the curves of models in men's magazines.

I wonder who male models are designed to appeal to - men or to the women that pick out men's clothes for them? Is there a difference between male models in women's magazines and male models in men's magazines?

 

[Sorry!]

I'm glad you gave your source. I think their self-descriptions about their looks are about as reliable as people's self-description of their economic status ("us poor, but honest, hardworking folk" vs. those "cheating, thieving misers obsessed with money" or those "lazy, moronic welfare pioneers").

You're still right. There is a difference between models in women's magazines and men's magazines. The anorexic tendency of models in women's magazines don't equate into a 3-dimensional world quite as well as the curves of models in men's magazines.

I wonder who male models are designed to appeal to - men or to the women that pick out men's clothes for them? Is there a difference between male models in women's magazines and male models in men's magazines?

I haven't really noticed a difference in models of male magazines or female. What I have noticed is a difference in appearance for different types of advertising... which should be obvious. I've taken many, many art courses including photography and fashion photography. So I've studied MANY many different photographs of models. It is true that most models don't look as glamorous or 'perfected' in real life but they are still pretty attractive overall. It's not all digital alterations either in fact just with simple lighting techniques you can change a person appearance to make them appear more attractive. This is especially noticed in male modeling when you get the appearance of 'hard chiselled abs' etc. Those abs really are there... but they don't look like that irl.++Another important aspect in respect to choosing someone which in my opinion goes hand-in-hand with appearance is smell. I love when a girl puts on THAT perfume with THAT smell and it drives me insane to just want to keep smelling her.

 

[Kronos5253]

Overall, society in general seems to values looks over any other aspect about a person when selecting that person for a mate. Do you think looks are a little less important in the "intelligensia" community. I feel like I am the only person that seems to disregard looks when assessing other qualities about a person, like if their personality matches with my personality and there are some personality traits that I like about the person that are not necessarily characteristic of my personality. A lot of people say that looks are not as important as any other trait, but won't really mean it, for highly attractive people are put up on a pedestal. Even in certain job interviews, the most attractive person is likely to get the job. I weigh in looks, but for me their not as important as other qualities of a person that will remain permanent throughout their life,and will less likely wither away over time as opposed to a persons looks. For me , looks our 10 percent important , and personality is 90 percent important. What about the rest of you? Is beauty as equally important as other characteristics about a person, or do you place stronger emphasis on beauty or personality when selecting a mate?

IMO, everything is equally important... Personality matters, but a relationship won't last long if there's no physical attraction... Likewise, looks matter, but the relationship isn't going to last long if you have nothing in common and you can't hold a conversation for more then 2 mins...

So for me I'd say 50/50, although generally I look at (at least partially) looks first (eyes and smile), and personality directly after. Everything else is pretty even after that.

 

[Proton Soup]

But did you find her unattractive? Probably not. That's more of what I'm getting at. I don't think it's likely someone would end up dating a person they thought was physically repulsive the first time they met them (unless it's something they grow out of), but someone who is just in the neutral category, where you never really gave any thought to their appearance when you met them, could easily become more attractive as you get to know them better.

yes. her butt was too big and i didn't like her face, either. not repulsive, but enough that i remember thinking about it. definitely not neutral.

 

[mcknia07]

99% of them are, sorry to tell you.

If you got the remaining 1%, count yourself lucky!

Excuse me, I think my boyfriend may think you are wrong... Do we all need to post pictures.. I think you all just need to guess again on stereotyping blondes! K, thanks

Looks do play a small part, but I go more for personality, like my current boyfriend is everything I could as for in a man, not to mention, he's persistent

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I haven't really noticed a difference in models of male magazines or female.

There is a big difference. On the cover of a men's magazine you are likely to see http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/9...s_gq_september_2008_main.0.0.0x0.365x486.jpeg.
Its often said that magazine models have made women feel that they need to be near anorexic to be attractive to men. They are obviously looking at the wrong magazines.

 

[Loren Booda]

Superficial looks make for superficial relationships. I believe that in long-term relationships, appearance and personality actually persevere, approaching each other in time.

Love seems to see each person as both unique yet familiar. The naked body, with its idiosyncrasies, can be a work of art and part of a mysterious relation.

 

[Monique]

There is a big difference. On the cover of a men's magazine you are likely to see http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/9...s_gq_september_2008_main.0.0.0x0.365x486.jpeg

You call that curvier?? The models on both magazines look the same to me, except the level of clothing.

 

[Proton Soup]

You call that curvier?? The models on both magazines look the same to me, except the level of clothing.

yeah, you've got a point. the GQ cover girls look like they've dieted down to low bodyfat percentages and gotten implants to make up for the lack of boobs.

 

[Monique]

Body types exist along the whole spectrum of the bell curve, but with some clever push-up effects and a clever make-up artist and some digital editing you can go a long way to make any woman look luscious in a picture (which I suspect a men's magazine would be more inclined to do than a women's magazine).

"[Keira Knightly] also claims magazine publishers in the US ban stars from appearing on their front covers unless they have at least a C-cup size, or are willing to be digitally enhanced to make it appear as if they have."

 

[Kys91]

When I hear "blondes", I automatically think of women. Why is that? Men have blonde hair too.

That's because "blonde" is the adjective for females with yellowish hair and "blond" is how you call a male with yellowish hair. :D

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

You call that curvier?? The models on both magazines look the same to me, except the level of clothing.

The one on the vogue cover looks like sticks with skin pulled over it. The ones on GQ may not be very "thick" but they certainly have more curves than that bean pole on Vogue.

Edit: note that the models on GQ actually have thighs.

 

[leroyjenkens]

That's because "blonde" is the adjective for females with yellowish hair and "blond" is how you call a male with yellowish hair. :D

Good answer. I can't believe that distinction actually exists.

 

[seycyrus]

The one on the vogue cover looks like sticks with skin pulled over it. The ones on GQ may not be very "thick" but they certainly have more curves than that bean pole on Vogue.

Edit: note that the models on GQ actually have thighs.

In the woman's magazines, they are selling fashion, whereas in the men's magazines, they are selling ... something else.

I've heard it said that clothes "look" better on a taller, thinner frame.

 

[Jasongreat]

In the woman's magazines, they are selling fashion, whereas in the men's magazines, they are selling ... something else.

I've heard it said that clothes "look" better on a taller, thinner frame.

IMO womens magazines are selling clothes that will only fit(and look good) a very small percentage of women. The thing that really bugs me is when people that wear clothes that are in fashion, but are obviously not made for them like hip hugger pants and a belly shirt on a size 16 woman. I think the reason the magazines put itty bitty women on their covers is because itty bitty women are rare, the same thing that makes a story news, its rare. Mens magazines are selling the same thing the womens mags do imo, just different reasons. Mens mags try to sell men on the idea that if you buy this product these pretty women will like you, womens mags try to sell women on the idea that if you wear these clothes you will be as beautiful as the woman on the cover(wrong on both counts but it sells).

Edit: Sorry for getting of topic Noblegas, As far as th OP, I think a lot of people do choose mates by using looks as a priority. The problem is looks fade(maybe that is why plastic surgery is so popular) and if the relationship is based on physical attraction the relationship fades also. I don't see any way of getting away from that completely though since like a few people have stated in other posts that there is no way someone will approach someone they find hideous in order to see that beautiful personallity. I do think that guys are worse at using looks as a main criteria, women seem to go more for substance than looks. I see far more beautiful women with average joes on their arm than handsome men with average janes on theirs. I am of the type that doesn't like to fight nature so I would have to say that looks get my attention the personality keeps it.

 

[Sorry!]

Womens magazines are selling clothes that will only fit(and look good) a very small percentage of women. The thing that really bugs me is when people that wear clothes that are in fashion, but are obviously not made for them like hip hugger pants and a belly shirt on a size 16 woman. I think the reason the magazines put itty bitty women on their covers is because itty bitty women are rare, the same thing that makes news news its rare. Mens magazines are selling the same thing the womens mags do imo, just different reasons. Mens mags try to sell men on the idea that if you buy this product these pretty women will like you, womens mags try to sell women on the idea that if you wear these clothes you will be the woman(wrong on both counts but it sells).

Pretty much none of this is true... with the exception of the last statement that some women feel if they buy the clothing they will be like that lady in the advert.

The reason itty bitty women are chosen to model the clothing is for the simple fact that it sells the clothing. As well the clothing that these women in the adverts. are not only made for females who are size 00... I don't know where you get that from. The clothing ON the model probably is but why would there only be one size?

I guess I'm lucky that I have a girlfriend who looks great in the clothing that you see models wearing in magazines or are up on the manaquins? I highly doubt that as the majority of the females I know also wear the same clothes and still look great.
Question: Are you American?
Something to think about is that a lot of fashion comes from Europe where people are much more 'skinnier' than in USA.
Even here in Canada it's noticably different than in America.

Here's something a lot of people here probably don't know:
A lot of fashion industries are banning underweight models. They are still comparatively skinny to the general American demographic but by no means unhealthy.
This is getting off topic though. sorry :D

 

[noblegas]

Definetely, it is getting off of topic a little.I wish my original OP questions were answered in most posts. I know looks matter, but how much compared to other qualities of a person, like the person personality and their overall outlook on like. Are these qualities equally important or some qualities just more equal than others? Perhaps I should have created a poll for this thread before creating it.

 

[Monique]

Definetely, it is getting off of topic a little.I wish my original OP questions were answered in most posts. I know looks matter, but how much compared to other qualities of a person, like the person personality and their overall outlook on like. Are these qualities equally important or some qualities just more equal than others? Perhaps I should have created a poll for this thread before creating it.

Doesn't it all depend on chemistry? You don't consciously go down a list of "this is important in a spouse". Sometimes it can be the looks, other times it can be the mind. You can say looks don't last long, but people's minds and attitudes also change over time.

 

[Kronos5253]

The reason itty bitty women are chosen to model the clothing is for the simple fact that it sells the clothing.

And why does it sell the clothing?

Mens mags try to sell men on the idea that if you buy this product these pretty women will like you, womens mags try to sell women on the idea that if you wear these clothes you will be the woman(wrong on both counts but it sells).

That's why.

 

[Loren Booda]

What drives "heroin chic" and similar models is the illusion that fashion is art, and that one can become a work of art if one buys into the elite's (emperor's) dress, their fantasies and their mannerisms. Altogether economy, realism and independence make for more worthwhile role models.

 

[Pyrrhus]

Doesn't it all depend on chemistry? You don't consciously go down a list of "this is important in a spouse". Sometimes it can be the looks, other times it can be the mind. You can say looks don't last long, but people's minds and attitudes also change over time.

I think Monique hit the nail. There are many times, I go out and end meeting different girls. These girls have way different looks, style and personality (blonde, brunette, funny, witty...), and I definitely don't "fall in love" with any of these girls at first glance. In fact, all the girls before exchanging any words are on the same scale to me. There are some exceptions, but what these exceptions do for me is to go and meet those girls i though where more interesting first. That's it!. So, after I chat the girls up, I end up deciding if I want to go out and meet her again or I'm not interested at all. I, certainly, am unable to do any decision BEFORE any exchange of words. That's how it is for me.

I've dated in the past girls looking very different from each other. I've dated white, blonde, blue eyes; I've dated brunette, green eyes, white; I've dated black hair, brown eyes, tanned skin; and more. Probably, my dates will be like different flavors in an ice cream parlor. Now, don't be fooled, of course, there are some similarities between these girls. Physically, I think I prefer a certain look for shape of the face and body, which is hard to describe, and Personality-wise, I like a girl that is independent, funny, and loyal (plus some other factors I value).

Of course, an important factor in the process is chemistry; we must like each other, one sided likeness is nonsense and it usually leads to problems (obsession, girl or boy taking advantage of the other, unrequited feelings...). Sometimes, I'd like the girl, and to meet her more, but she is not interested or the other way around. In any case, just because someone is "super attractive" according to Vogue, GQ, Playboy, or other magazines does not mean that person will instantly be a good catch or a good partner. However, it might mean more leniency as you giving them more chances in order to continue knowing them, or you introducing yourself first to them in order to chat them up.

Now for the exception, Yes there are people out there who value LOOKS higher than other equally important factors such as PERSONALITY, and YES you guessed those relationships will die off, unless by some miracle they like each other personality-wise as well.

 

[Huckleberry]

Doesn't it all depend on chemistry? You don't consciously go down a list of "this is important in a spouse".

No, it seems to be fairly common in my experience that women list the things they are looking for in a spouse in conversation on a first date. The two things that come up most often are kids and money. I just want to shoot some pool and have a few beers and talk about bar condiments or anything besides kids and money.

Looks are important to me when I don't know someone. As I get to know them looks become less important. If she rocks then average looking is perfectly fine. A large part of the attraction is that she doesn't need me at all, but would rather spend time with me anyway. That's a huge turn on.

 

[noblegas]

No, it seems to be fairly common in my experience that women list the things they are looking for in a spouse in conversation on a first date. The two things that come up most often are kids and money. I just want to shoot some pool and have a few beers and talk about bar condiments or anything besides kids and money.

Looks are important to me when I don't know someone. As I get to know them looks become less important. If she rocks then average looking is perfectly fine. A large part of the attraction is that she doesn't need me at all, but would rather spend time with me anyway. That's a huge turn on.

So are looks than a prerequisite for you before you can evaluate every other quality about the person you are attracted to?