Is Age Just a Number When It Comes to Attracting Someone?

[Clausius2]

It looks to me that most of you guys don't seem to understand what i am trying to say!
Don't you guys understand "Love" or ever been in it!(i guess its not infatuation with me!)
Well what conquered me was her beautiful nature,her smile,her way of talking not her nice shaped figure!

I have been friends with lots of more beautiful gals than her but none of them was ever able to attract/distract me!
I can ignore her external beauty(not a big thing!) but she has entered into myself!
This love inside me doesn't sees her age/intelligence etc.etc,
I am strictly pointing to emotions and feelings!Dear Buddies,u need to enter more !

Listen Heman. Nothing is impossible.

Make this. Next time you meet her, you have to show an strong interest in her problems, her work, her thinkings. You have to achieve the needed confidence so that she can trust on you and tell you her problems. Try to help her and give her intelligent opinions. And a very important thing: remember her problems, no matter how slight and small they are, and next time ask her about this small problems to see how are they going. She would realize you have an eye put in her, but this doesn't mean you are in love with her at all. So she will begin to feel herself confused. In that moment, you must to take advantage of that confusion, inviting her for lunch or a coffee as a friend. If she does not want to accept, your honour will be intact, because you will not have shown your cards.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

It looks to me that most of you guys don't seem to understand what i am trying to say!
Don't you guys understand "Love" or ever been in it!(i guess its not infatuation with me!)
Well what conquered me was her beautiful nature,her smile,her way of talking not her nice shaped figure!

I have been friends with lots of more beautiful gals than her but none of them was ever able to attract/distract me!
I can ignore her external beauty(not a big thing!) but she has entered into myself!
This love inside me doesn't sees her age/intelligence etc.etc,
I am strictly pointing to emotions and feelings!Dear Buddies,u need to enter more !

I've been where you are. And I'd have to say that if you have never talked to her for more than a few minutes at a time you are not likely to actually be in love with her. When I was your age I found myself infatuated with several females of various ages. I especially liked older women. I was never in love with any of them though. I have, not that long ago, fallen in love for the first time. Believe me that it is quite different than what you are experiencing now.
I say, go ahead and flirt with her and use her as practice. If you can get her attention, even just a little bit, then you will do well with girls your own age. With older women you will most likely need a job if nothing else. I dated a 24 year old when I was 20 and a 27 year old when I was 21 so it's not impossible really, but you see these girls came after me.

 

[loseyourname]

Guys i have a beautiful GND!(Girl Next Door!)
She is tall and very attractive!
The point is i have started liking her and she is about 5 years elder to me!
Well the problem is there are already 4/5 guys who are after her and are just abt. her age!
Do i have any Chance to get her!

I'd say you have a great chance. My advice to you is to be patient. Don't worry about wooing her all at once. Just become her friend. Hang out with her every now and then, often help if she needs it, and listen earnestly when she has something to say. Don't come on to her at all yet. She'll greatly appreciate this. If you know anything about these other guys that are after her, that's a big plus. If you're particularly skilled, you should be able to ensure that she ends up with the biggest jerk among them. Even if you cannot do that, chances are, any relationship she takes up with them is going to end. If you can wait it out, you'll have the perfect opportunity to pounce when she is on the rebound.

Honestly, though, I'd only go to this length, being you, if you are very caught up with this girl. If you're truly in love and think that she could be something long-term with you, take this advice. If it's just a crush and she's nothing particularly special, you may as well take your best shot now. That way, if you don't succeed, you can just forget about her and move on to the next target.

 

[Evo]

Five years is nothing, when you're older, such a tiny difference won't even be recognized.

Now 25 years older...

 

[loseyourname]

Heman . . . you're about my son's age. I'll be straight with you (but not as crude) as I am with him: in general, young women want men a few years older than them. This is simply because of maturity issues.

Relationships are exhausting and difficult to accomplish successfully. In general, not to say you, but in general, most men fail miserably. Most women, by the time they reach 25 are surperb at dating; most men, are not. Women know this very keenly and so they figure maybe, just a chance, but maybe if she dates one a few years older, there's less chance of him being a jerk.

Trust me. She'll be nice to you but not a girlfriend. Just let it go and look for a hottie closer to your age.

Come now, it's not impossible. When I was 20, I had a 25 year-old tattoo my name on her back. Shortly after turning 21, I married a 29 year-old. Women can be quite excited by a man with the apparent sophistication of someone older, but who is not tied down by the obligations and vagaries of a stable life (Maggie and I had an honest-to-god plan to raise sheep in New Zealand, where I could write and she could practice her glass-blowing. She was sick of being a social worker and wanted a way to escape her student loan debts). Women tend to have something approaching a mid-life crisis in their mid to late-twenties. It's not always openly manifested, but it's almost always there. You just have to know how to get it out of them. It helps a lot if you're an artist or writer or performer of some sort. You can't play it up, though. You can be great at it, but you have to be casual about it; don't brag like a stupid child. Don't even bring it up. The less you bring up about yourself, the more she'll discover and the more excited she'll be.

 

[loseyourname]

Five years is nothing, when you're older, such a tiny difference won't even be recognized.

Now 25 years older...

When I get to be your age, Evo, I will almost exclusively be targeting women in their twenties (assuming I'm not happily married). Maybe this doesn't work in reverse, but it has been my (admittedly scant) experience that once a woman is older than that and still single, she starts to seriously doubt herself and develops an 'I'm not good enough' complex of sorts. Either that or they go the opposite route, becoming completely sure of themselves and developing elaborate rules and standards that almost no man can match, which is of course just a subconscious way of ensuring that he fails so she won't have the opportunity to do so. Either way, it's hardly worth the hassle.

 

[Evo]

When I get to be your age, Evo,

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

When I get to be your age, Evo, I will almost exclusively be targeting women in their twenties (assuming I'm not happily married). Maybe this doesn't work in reverse, but it has been my (admittedly scant) experience that once a woman is older than that and still single, she starts to seriously doubt herself and develops an 'I'm not good enough' complex of sorts. Either that or they go the opposite route, becoming completely sure of themselves and developing elaborate rules and standards that almost no man can match, which is of course just a subconscious way of ensuring that he fails so she won't have the opportunity to do so. Either way, it's hardly worth the hassle.

I've had the same experience. Generally more so if they haven't been married or had children. It's kinda difficult hitting on a woman when she has a son who's closer to your age than she is.

 

[Danger]

Heman, you've gotten lots of good advice, and some (not so ) in this thread. Generally speaking, the best has come from Astro, LYN, Mr. Ape and of course the women. And although Clausius said that he couldn't agree with Astro on this, he said essentially the same thing.
Treat this woman as a respected friend. Don't worry about what to talk to her about; pick subjects that she'll be comfortable with such as her work or what movies she likes. (I must say that on this topic, you're very likely to become bored or impatient with her if you do end up in a more serious relationship. This isn't intended to insult either her or your judgement, but it sounds as if she's not bright enough for you to be truly happy with her in the long run.) The bottom line from my perspective is don't walk away if you really feel that it's right. There are a lot of times in the past that I should have, but I would regret it for the rest of my life if I had. Although things didn't work out the way I hoped, it was actually better. The one that never even came close to being a good thing ended up marrying my best friend, I was best man at the wedding, and she's my second best friend now. So if you make friends with this woman now, and things don't work out, after a fairly lengthy period of discomfort she might still end up being a permanent part of your life.
And as for the age thing, the ex-from-hell is 5 years older than me, and the husband that she elected to remain with after our 6 1/2 year affair is 5 years younger than me. (We're good friends again too.)

 

[fourier jr]

Heman, you've gotten lots of good advice, and some (not so ) in this thread. Generally speaking, the best has come from Astro, LYN, Mr. Ape and of course the women. And although Clausius said that he couldn't agree with Astro on this, he said essentially the same thing.
Treat this woman as a respected friend. Don't worry about what to talk to her about; pick subjects that she'll be comfortable with such as her work or what movies she likes.

yes, keep it somewhat 'shallow' to start with. that means lots of small talk, which isn't really deep, and whose function is sometimes only to break the silence. if she says she likes a certain type of movie, you reciprocate & tell her what kinds of movies you like, & so on. after you talk to her more (over the weeks) you might be able to ask about something more personal/deeper that you could only find out by hearing it from her. that's probably too far in the future to worry about now though. right now if she, for example, reciprocates by telling you what her favourite food is when you tell her yours & vice-versa ask her out for coffee or something. & like i said if she doesn't go for it don't sweat it.

 

[heman]

Thanx very much guys for your comments!especially Clasius,Astro,ape,Lyn,Fourier, Ladies and Gr8 Danger!
I will let you all( ) know whatever comes my way! :!)

 

[heman]

eeeeeeh I forgot( ) Arildno,Biggey SaltyDog,Brewnog and Honestrosewater!

Thanx all of you guys who posted and Sorry if i am forgetting the name of any of ya!
You guys are very nice and can make my log float on river!

I will keep posting future events!

 

[honestrosewater]

If you're going to pursue it and I could only give you one piece of advice, it's this: Don't be pushy! Some men make me feel like prey, and not surprisingly, it makes me run away.

 

[fourier jr]

If you're going to pursue it and I could only give you one piece of advice, it's this: Don't be pushy! Some men make me feel like prey, and not surprisingly, it makes me run away.

ya i don't think i was clear now, if you're having a good back-&-forth "experimentation" then say you should do something sometime, not if she only reciprocates once or twice. if you try to do too much too soon without building trust, letting her get to know a bit about you, etc i think you'll crash & burn.

 

[heman]

Thanks,i think i realize that!
The literature requires us to go on with dynamic conversations before jumping into river! :!)
i will not be pushy,i will abort the mission if i well get wrong signals!

 

[heman]

If you're going to pursue it and I could only give you one piece of advice, it's this: Don't be pushy! Some men make me feel like prey, and not surprisingly, it makes me run away.

Sorry,I was thinking you to be guy
Your opinions will be very helpful i guess coz she is exactly yours age!

 

[Clausius2]

Reading all this thread and reading also my own words, I have realized our process of flirting with women is based on lying them! . We have to seem interested on what she says (no matter she is saying something very dumb!). We have to listen no matter she is stupid!.

Ohhhh!. Love: the most powerful feeling, which makes us to do incredible stupid things...

 

[heman]

Reading all this thread and reading also my own words, I have realized our process of flirting with women is based on lying them! . We have to seem interested on what she says (no matter she is saying something very dumb!). We have to listen no matter she is stupid!.

I agree Clausius absolutely with ya!
The gal seems to me as always talking unintelligent and boring stuff that's why it becomes pretty tough to hold on with gals,we have to always go to a lower level to talk with them!

 

[arildno]

Reading all this thread and reading also my own words, I have realized our process of flirting with women is based on lying them! . We have to seem interested on what she says (no matter she is saying something very dumb!). We have to listen no matter she is stupid!.

Ohhhh!. Love: the most powerful feeling, which makes us to do incredible stupid things...

Do you think women find men's talk a lot more intelligent than their own?

 

[honestrosewater]

I agree Clausius absolutely with ya!
The gal seems to me as always talking unintelligent and boring stuff that's why it becomes pretty tough to hold on with gals,

Okay, we really need a head-shaking smiley. If you don't enjoy talking to her, what kind of relationship are you after?

we have to always go to a lower level to talk with them!

Do you have to go to a lower level to talk with me?

 

[heman]

Do you have to go to a lower level to talk with me?

Looks like you are interested in yours appreciation!
Don't bite me Dear,ya are smart and intelligent! but generally gals are not!

 

[heman]

Okay, we really need a head-shaking smiley. If you don't enjoy talking to her, what kind of relationship are you after?

Well I am sorry to say that she isn't intelligent at talking but when she talks.. innocence on her face and her smiles!Ohhh my Gawd...that captures my heart :!)

 

[honestrosewater]

Looks like you are interested in yours appreciation!
Don't bite me Dear,ya are smart and intelligent! but generally gals are not!

I wasn't fishing for compliments. I was questioning your statement. Maybe most of the women you've talked to weren't intelligent, but do you think you've had enough conversations with enough women to generalize from your personal experiences to all women?

Well I am sorry to say that she isn't intelligent at talking but when she talks.. innocence on her face and her smiles!Ohhh my Gawd...that captures my heart

So you just like staring at her? Or is there more to it?

 

[heman]

I wasn't fishing for compliments. I was questioning your statement. Maybe most of the women you've talked to weren't intelligent, but do you think you've had enough conversations with enough women to generalize from your personal experiences to all women??

Well my opinion is formed on what i have read in newspapers,magazines,,watched on tv etc.etc.
Well i can surprise you with the fact that i am in one of the best college in my country and there are only 32 gals and 520 boys!ya can clearly make out from this that gals aren't that much intelligent to pass that competitive exam!(dear no lack of gals! )
Well i think there can be certain other things in which women can lead men such as sincerity,hardwork etc. but research shows something diff. about intelligence!Well this is the case of my country ,ya are from USA,here obviously women will be more intelligent and smarter !
I respect and love women

So you just like staring at her? Or is there more to it?

Well i keep shaking my head on whatever she says but my mind is obviously somewhere else!

 

[heman]

hey Rose i am still waiting to hear ya!

 

[Clausius2]

Heman,

There is an U2 song which fits with your situation:

"A man will rise,
A man will fall,
From the sheer face of love,
Like a fly from a wall.
It's no secret at all."

The Fly (U2)

Be careful of not being the next fly. I have been fly many times.

 

[honestrosewater]

Sorry, I missed this post.

Well my opinion is formed on what i have read in newspapers,magazines,,watched on tv etc.etc.
Well i can surprise you with the fact that i am in one of the best college in my country and there are only 32 gals and 520 boys!ya can clearly make out from this that gals aren't that much intelligent to pass that competitive exam!(dear no lack of gals! )

Sorry, that doesn't follow. Do you know how many women failed the exams? Do the exams test intelligence or knowledge?
People have researched this issue, and the information is out there if you care to find it. You can also check out this discussion for more.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Okay, we really need a head-shaking smiley. If you don't enjoy talking to her, what kind of relationship are you after?

Well there's one type in particular that many men are after, especially at his age.

Looks like you are interested in yours appreciation!
Don't bite me Dear,ya are smart and intelligent! but generally gals are not!

Generally, men aren't either. Another question about the stats that would influence the male to female ratio at you school might be; What is the male to female ratio for the area in which you live?

 

[honestrosewater]

Generally, men aren't either. Another question about the stats that would influence the male to female ratio at you school might be; What is the male to female ratio for the area in which you live?

Funny, I don't really mind you calling men stupid.

But to be fair, what do you mean men aren't generally intelligent? Chimp intelligent or Leonardo intelligent? (No, guys, not the TMNT. )

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Funny, I don't really mind you calling men stupid.

But to be fair, what do you mean men aren't generally intelligent? Chimp intelligent or Leonardo intelligent? (No, guys, not the TMNT. )

When I think intelligent I am usually thinking above average, in which case the average male or average female I wouldn't call intelligent. Ofcourse just because intelligent isn't a word I would use to describe them doesn't mean I think they are stupid.
My point really is that I don't think there is a real difference in intelligence between men and women on average. Even if statistics say so, statistics can change, it's not concrete. The only concrete differances between men and women are biological and even some of those can be a bit fuzzy in some cases.

 

[honestrosewater]

When I think intelligent I am usually thinking above average, in which case the average male or average female I wouldn't call intelligent. Ofcourse just because intelligent isn't a word I would use to describe them doesn't mean I think they are stupid.
My point really is that I don't think there is a real difference in intelligence between men and women on average. Even if statistics say so, statistics can change, it's not concrete.

Yeah, I figured you meant above average. I was joking about the stupid part.

The only concrete differances between men and women are biological and even some of those can be a bit fuzzy in some cases.

Yes, fuzzy, bald, woolly... there is great variety indeed.

 

[loseyourname]

So you just like staring at her? Or is there more to it?

Believe it or not, unintelligent women can be attractive, even in a non-superficial way. There are plenty of virtues, even social virtues, that have nothing to do with intellectual achievement or prowess.

 

[honestrosewater]

Believe it or not, unintelligent women can be attractive, even in a non-superficial way. There are plenty of virtues, even social virtues, that have nothing to do with intellectual achievement or prowess.

Sure, that's why I asked for more info.

 

[Lisa!]

we have to always go to a lower level to talk with them!

How tall are you? ( )

 

[hypatia]

I say approach her on your knees while wearing nothing but chaps. But then I've had a few too many drinks tonight.