Mastering the Art of Belching: Tips and Tricks for a Perfect Burp

[pineapples]

I have never burped in my entire life, besides when I was a baby. I never thought about this or the fact that it was weird until I realized other people burping all around me. I don't like the taste of soda and I don't drink it, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no idea, but it's so weird, no matter how hard I try, I can't even make myself do a fake burp!
Does anyone else have this issue??

 

[Math Is Hard]

I guess it has to all come out the other end then?

 

[JamesU]

ummm...

 

[Cyrus]

You should try burping while farting, I highly recommend it.

 

[scott1]

The Great burb lawsuit

I have never burped in my entire life, besides when I was a baby. I never thought about this or the fact that it was weird until I realized other people burping all around me. I don't like the taste of soda and I don't drink it, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no idea, but it's so weird, no matter how hard I try, I can't even make myself do a fake burp!
Does anyone else have this issue??

I'am sueing you?You caused a super earthquake and created an supertussmi which created a hypercane and it also created a super volcano.
My lawer told me you owe me
$$ 1,145,1443,0430,0123,000,000,0000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,00,00,000.25 x 10^90992
and if you think if I can't that much money form you my lawer was the guy to bribe the scientist who created vioxx to "accedently" make so that you could die form it.I'll see you in court.

 

[quantumdude]

Never burped before? Hoo-boy, you're in for a doozy.

 

[Math Is Hard]

You should try burping while farting, I highly recommend it.

Did it make your ears pop?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I have never burped in my entire life, besides when I was a baby. I never thought about this or the fact that it was weird until I realized other people burping all around me. I don't like the taste of soda and I don't drink it, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no idea, but it's so weird, no matter how hard I try, I can't even make myself do a fake burp!
Does anyone else have this issue??

I suspect you have a rare esophogeal condition called dysburpsia. It's not life-threatening, but I'm afraid to tell you you will be restricted from ever entering a college fraternity.

 

[scott1]

Did it make your ears pop?

IT'S FUN!

 

[z-component]

I love the kinds of posts that come from pineapple!

 

[Moonbear]

I guess it has to all come out the other end then?

Thanks for that mental image. But, I guess so.

It's hard to imagine never burping. Not even a little, quiet, polite one? Not everyone let's out huge belches that can be monitored on the richter scale (though I've known a few people who did, on a regular basis ).

 

[Math Is Hard]

Thanks for that mental image. But, I guess so.

Oh, you liked that one, eh? How about Human Jacuzzi, then?

 

[Mk]

I love the kinds of posts that come from pineapple!

I love eating pineapple!

 

[dav2008]

I have never burped in my entire life, besides when I was a baby. I never thought about this or the fact that it was weird until I realized other people burping all around me. I don't like the taste of soda and I don't drink it, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no idea, but it's so weird, no matter how hard I try, I can't even make myself do a fake burp!
Does anyone else have this issue??

Do you chew your food thoroughly and eat slowly?

 

[Warr]

Try this: Begin to breath in. As you do close your windpipe (ie make it so you can't easily get air down your throat ..you should be able to contract automatically. Then, while doing that increase the pressure difference on the inside of the closed part of your (ie try breathing in harder and harder while maintaining a closed airway). Eventually the pressure difference becomes too great and the air will force itself through, which will make you burp.

 

[Smasherman]

Swallow air, then push it out... This is how I fake burps, anyway. Good luck! (lol)

 

[Cyrus]

You don't need to burp. As long as you are still farting, you're fine.

 

[Smasherman]

You don't need to burp. As long as you are still farting, you're fine.

Well, unless you like exploding. Might get you into the Guiness Book, though (totally worth it ).

 

[Moonbear]

Try this: Begin to breath in. As you do close your windpipe (ie make it so you can't easily get air down your throat ..you should be able to contract automatically. Then, while doing that increase the pressure difference on the inside of the closed part of your (ie try breathing in harder and harder while maintaining a closed airway). Eventually the pressure difference becomes too great and the air will force itself through, which will make you burp.

I guess we are a forum with an education mission, even if it's just educating someone on how to burp.

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, you liked that one, eh? How about Human Jacuzzi, then?

I think that's why those whirlpool tubs are so popular in master baths...it's much more romantic if the person joining you can't tell when you fart in the tub.

 

[dav2008]

I don't mean to show off but I just burped.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I think that's why those whirlpool tubs are so popular in master baths...it's much more romantic if the person joining you can't tell when you fart in the tub.

You make a good point. No need to lace the champagne with Bean-O.

 

[pineapples]

How do I swallow air? I never understood that. Once I accidentally swalled some air with my water but I don't know how. It gave me a painful airbubble thing in my throat.

 

[FredGarvin]

I have never burped in my entire life...

Don't worry. I have made up for you. Leave that kind of work to the professionals. brrrrraaap!

 

[Moonbear]

How do I swallow air? I never understood that.

Honestly, don't worry about learning to do it on purpose. There's no need to learn things like that.

Once I accidentally swalled some air with my water but I don't know how. It gave me a painful airbubble thing in my throat.

And you didn't burp to get the airbubble out? If the gas comes up but can't get out and it's actually painful like that, you might want to mention it to your doctor the next time you get a check-up, just to make sure everything in your throat is working right. If it didn't cause any pain, I'd say it's not something to care about as long as you're not planning on entering any burping contests, but if the air gets trapped in your throat and causes pain, then it's something you might want to get checked out (I don't know if anything could be done for it anyway, but it's sure worth asking if it hurts).

 

[Anttech]

I have never burped in my entire life, besides when I was a baby. I never thought about this or the fact that it was weird until I realized other people burping all around me. I don't like the taste of soda and I don't drink it, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have no idea, but it's so weird, no matter how hard I try, I can't even make myself do a fake burp!
Does anyone else have this issue??

Have you ever drank alcohol before?

 

[brewnog]

My girlfriend can't burp.

It's all very well, but her farts are absolutely revolting. I'm sure it's a trade-off.

 

[kmarinas86]

How do I swallow air? I never understood that. Once I accidentally swalled some air with my water but I don't know how. It gave me a painful airbubble thing in my throat.

Simple. It's like swallowing a pill - but without the pill or the water. You should do it several times though before you can get a big burp - if you want to. However, intentional burps involve an action that is like a forced vomit, so be careful.

 

[Just some guy]

If you can't burp what happens when you drink a soft drink? Coca cola actually makes for a great pest control weapon because mice love the stuff, but they can't burp and so the carbon dioxide just builds up in their stomach until they pop! :)

 

[franznietzsche]

You make a good point. No need to lace the champagne with Bean-O.

You two terrify me sometimes.