My conversation with a six year old

[TheStatutoryApe]

You DID sit on his lap when you asked him right?

 

[Cyrus]

Hello Cyrus!
Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Rockville! I sure do love the Net because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. An email from you, Cyrus, really makes my day!
Well call me the King of Jing-a-Ling, Cyrus, you're getting to be quite a big boy! Wow, 20 years old already! Pretty soon you'll be too big to sit on Santa's knee! Well, even though you're getting a little older Cyrus, Santa's glad to see you still have the Christmas Spirit. I also hear you've been a REALLY REALLY good boy. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you?)
Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. to steal the rights to your name; 2. make you pay gratuity for ever present you deliver and; 3. steal mrs. claus from you. HO! Ho! ho! That's exactly what I thought you might like! I'm thinking of putting some of those on my wish list too! Of course, I never get everything I have on my wish list -- but then again, it wouldn't be much fun if I always got everything I asked for. Then there would never be any surprise!
Oh! oh! The Grinch is trying to steal some of Mrs. Claus' cookies! That Grinch sure is funny. He may not like Christmas, but he sure likes those cookies! Well, I better go stop him before he snitches them all. Take care Cyrus and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve! And remember... only 6 more sleeps until Christmas!
Lots of Love,

AHhahaha I am going to burn in hell...I just couldn't resist.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I can't believe how many times that vile, obese pervert called you a "ho".

Zooby, you should email Santa. Wish for Zooby things.

You DID sit on his lap when you asked him right?

AHhahaha I am going to burn in hell...

oh dang! that was too funny!

 

[Cyrus]

I think santa might kill himself if I do that to the poor guy, I better change it to something simple like a president, astronaut, and race-car driver.